Despicable Anti Dementors

[Mascotte]

New thread

Thank you so much, Nihil. Thankfully, my sister-in-laws are in Scotland, so they have been able to see her from a distance and have a wee chat (whilst performing essential duties like delivering shopping and cutting her grass...). She's very stoical, is very tech savvy (FB, Skype etc.) and insists she's absolutely fine when we speak to her on the phone, but she's a very 'huggy' person and I know she'll be desperate for a cuddle - especially now.

It boils my piss that we can't even go over in the car and see her from the requisite distance, when I can go out for my daily walk and see/speak to any amount of random fucking strangers. No logic to it whatsoever.

@Drivingdownthe101 I love that, the risk to my child is as close as possible you can get to zero without placing them in a bubble I might well copy it

We seem to want people to live at all costs these days

A death thanks to a short respiratory illness is a natural thing. It's far less brutal than a very drawn out death thanks to lots of other illnesses.

Spot on WishingChair. Agree with everything you've said, but those two sentences stand out in particular. Thank you for your kind words also - much appreciated.

Anyone else heard this new research suggesting some of the common-cold coronaviruses might give some degree of cross-immunity to this one? Picture's not very clear yet but that would be excellent news.

GeneGenie - thank you so much.

cardigans I'm sorry, that is truly awful. That and the (very sensible) discussion about dementia just proves how much we prioritise physical over mental wellbeing.

I had a row with an old friend last night. He has been a good person to talk to for many years, sensible solutions to issues. He has gone full dementor though. I told him I was concerned about losing my job after all this (local government - finances and budgets utterly fucked - and the government refusing to make up the shortfall) and he said my job wasn't worth more than causing thousands of deaths. I pointed out if Councils go bankrupt - and they will - that will cause thousands of deaths because who did he think provided social care, homelessness services, etc. But apparently because those people aren't going to die now, of CV19, they don't matter.

The experience I remember from my placement was a lady who went unresponsive and very weak breathing sat waiting for lunch one day (to be fair the speed lunch went I could have probably died of old age waiting for it!) and they had to 999 and CPR her. In that case she came back round and rewarded the paramedics with a clip round the ear (I cheered secretly at that) but it didn't half get me thinking (as opposed to my placement "partner" who just ran out of the room sobbing).

I was just really impressed there was the spirit in the old girl to belt them one around the face! She didn't last much longer I don't think - wasn't there toward the end of the placement.

My placement partner's reaction brought home to me how people can't cope with death these days - especially when they're younger.

he said my job wasn't worth more than causing thousands of deaths

I'm so sorry. I had something similar from a friend. 'Of course, there will be a few more suicides thanks to lockdown, but...'

Righto. Nevermind there have been times I've worried I might be one of those suicides. It'd just be a few of us.

covid.joinzoe.com/data

This is really worth looking at today. It clearly demonstrates that in most parts of the country (by far), between 0 and 1% of people have the virus. There are some smaller hotspots where that rises to 1.6% or something but COME ON. 1.6%?! And yet people are kicking up such a fuss about restrictions easing.

Magda - thank you so much. You make some great and very valid points.

I'm very worried about many good friends and relatives who may lose jobs, businesses, livelihoods and possibly their homes due to this. Their mental health is already suffering and I fear things may get a lot worse. I hope you will be okay and your worries are unfounded.

Honestly I have never considered suicide before. Ever. But I did think actually if someone told me that my life would just continue like this I'd consider it. So I can very easily see what a situation like this does to already fragile mental health.

Not to mention seemingly half of the population seem to have developed anxiety in the space of a few weeks. A lot of people won't cope with the real world when we get back into it.

Also, a lot of those current cases are in clusters such as nursing homes.

I cannot understand why the gvt doesn’t act more proactively.

Thanks, Domina - that made me laugh! I would have been that old lady for sure!

I agree with the posts here about ageing & death. I have a 93 year old GP with dementia. She is very frail, has constant back & hip pain - managed with lots of pain medication - is in & out of hospital and & intermittently confused & distressed. I honestly wouldn't grieve if she passed away, because her quality of life is so so poor & will only get worse (my big fear is the dementia worsening). I think medical science has reached a point where we can prolong bare existence without prolonging life, if that makes sense?

It took my grandmother the best part of a decade to die. It was obscene and brutal and drawn-out. For the first two years or so of it, while she had the ability to speak, she begged us to kill her. I hoped all the time that I would hear of her death, because it would have been in every way a mercy. A short respiratory illness, with good palliative care, would have been a gift. There, I said it.

I think medical science has reached a point where we can prolong bare existence without prolonging life, if that makes sense?

Yes! This. And it's fucking madness.

Thank you Adventures and cardigans.

My mental health is fragile - I have been suicidal in the past, though not at the moment thankfully - but losing my job could easily tip me into a deep depression.

I should be OK, I'm good at my job and well regarded, so wouldn't be first in line I don't think, but my department's income has been hit hard, and our budget relies on it. We are funded by income from fees, not by central budgets. Even if I don't lose my job I will likely have to make colleagues redundant which makes me incredibly sad. Many of them are my friends too.

A short respiratory illness, with good palliative care, would have been a gift. There, I said it.

I say it too Goat. No, fuck it - I'll SHOUT it!

Even if I don't lose my job I will likely have to make colleagues redundant which makes me incredibly sad. Many of them are my friends too.

Magda

My kids have gone to grandparents in one of the areas all over the news as the latest Covid story of where shit is really bad. I feel guilty as fuck but they're in an isolated property and half the reason shit has got as bad as it has there is bloody deprivation, austerity and possibly the fact half the bloody area is related to each other!

We've got next door who's just started taking the garden fence down and therefore is in our garden - we give zero fucks! (And we get a non wobbly fence to boot)

I agree. One of my relatives when I was young, was a triathlete. Unfortunately during the swimming in a triathlon he drowned. He was resuscitated. As it happened he ended up with really really terrible brain damage.

He didn't know who he was. He didn't know who we were. He got very violent very quickly through presumably the sheer confusion. He was in hospital ward after hospital ward. Nobody knew what to do with him because he wasn't elderly so couldn't live in a care home, was violent sometimes so couldn't live with my nan which is what she wanted but she couldn't physically control him. He couldn't live on his own because he just didn't have the capacity to care for himself.

He ended up for quite some time on some sort of psychiatric unit and as I say I was young and don't remember the details but it was awful. He managed to escape once and they brought him back and placed more restrictions on him. It was no life.

As he got older he wouldn't do anything. Wouldn't eat. Wouldn't move out of his bed. Refused medication and he got so old and so frail so quickly. He was a triathlete a fit healthy man.. He bloody loved life.

He ended up in a care home. He died about 5 years later from some kind of infection or another and it was awful.

I sometimes think, and I feel that I am being cruel to say it, that it would have been better if he had not been resuscitated that day. It would have been an awful tragedy. A terrible waste of life and we would have all been devastated. But the life he had following his accident was really no life at all.

We grieved him twice really. The man he once was and the man that eventually died. I try and remember him for the man he was before his accident.

A short respiratory illness, with good palliative care, would have been a gift. There, I said it

I totally agree! we are obsessed with quantity of life and ignore quality of life. I got shouted down and called a murderer for daring to suggest it would be cruel to ventilate a 90 year old end stage dementia patient. It would 100% be cruel and would question the ethics of anyone who thought that was ok. Causing people increased suffering and pain so they can linger on in agony for a few more weeks is CRUEL and I will never think otherwise.

ilovecardigans I really feel your awful pain and rage. My dad died in very similar circumstances 2 years ago. I was praying for his end for a good two years before that. Doubly incontinent, repeated UTIs, multiple rounds of pneumonia. He was seen as strong as an ox and a miracle because he kept "pulling through". No he didn't, he kept being pumped full of bloody antibiotics. He was an empty shell with very little trace of the kind, clever funny man he had been and died aged 74. Young by today's standards, but certainly more than his three score and ten. The last bout of pneumonia finished him off quite quickly, which was a mercy but I remember crying to the doctors "Why?" when he was loaded with more antibiotics. At least they didn't try getting a line into his arm to make him more in pain, more scared, more confused.

This crazy awful situation with our old people just has to change.

One of my colleague's father was in a care home for 3 years with advanced dementia. He said he had already grieved for him by the time he died, and so had his mother.

@TrustTheGeneGenie - don't worry. I didn't think you were having a go at all. I'm very glad it's treatable in the vast majority of cases. I like good news!