Anti-Dementor Alliance Thread - learn how to produce your patronus here

[Tappering]

New thread!

Ooh, could you link to the previous thread, please?

I've just seen a couple walking down the road with takeaway milkshakes... wasn't there a selfish milkshake drinkers bashing thread a few weeks back??

May I join you all here.

They've started off on garden centres opening now and how it will corrupt all the over 70's!

Mind you they would hate me, I've moved house in lockdown so probably responsible for at least a few thousand murders. DD and I would have been homeless otherwise, but the Dementors probably think we should have bedded down in a bush for the duration!

@Mascotte it's like mascotte! It's a spell (special to yourself) that you can conjure up when in great danger. It's from Harry Potter.

@Wauden previous thread

Have been following this thread and would just like to put this here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3904286-If-you-are-worried-about-the-effects-of-lockdown-on-our-childrens-future#prettyPhoto

@Mascotte although, in this case the danger is the dark force of excess zeal rather than the virus!

Re. Shielding. In truth, it's just that I would feel like a selfish witch if I insisted everyone had to take a shower in disinfectant or whatever before coming near me! And I'd like to keep some semblance of normality for my family... But I'm probably fortunate in that my only dietary requirements have been "the things I feel like eating". These are currently grapes, chocolate and toast - which aren't exactly hard to source 😄

Shameless place mark.

I see 50% of the population will be dead in a month after the HEINOUS crimes committed over the Bank Holiday.

Have you see the Boris and Costa thread? He apparently shouldn't be waking through the park with a Costa as it's not an essential purchase.

Can I have a giraffe as my patronus please? I fed giraffes for my birthday back in March and it still makes me smile!

Good evening, murderers!

@SummerHouse thank you! I'm pretty much a Potter virgin. But know what Dementors are as have called my parents that for years 😂.

@Jourdain those are far too easy..get more Mariah Carey's rider 😃

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff I am slightly tempted to engage on it and say that I've made the ultimate green choice by not having kids*. But I'm sitting enjoying this thread whilst drinking wine and my patronus is currently asleep, so I'm gonna swerve it.

• Whilst I don't have DC by choice, this decision was not driven by environmental reasons!

Meh. My appetite for live sprouted rye bread, tofu sausages and dragon fruit is limited at the present time

Although, I would say it is noticeable that, with DH doing the shopping rather than me, there is a great deal less fruit and veg in the house!!

I went to the shop for a bottle of vodka and tomato juice today to make Bloody Marys. Essential trip. 👍👍👍

The thing that really gets me on that meme I posted is the sizes of the sharks. Looking at them logically, Climate Change is going to eat Lockdown, but Lockdown won't be able to eat Covid. That bothers me.

I've been trying to talk DH into getting a chavvy sex pond but he's not keen. He doesn't understand my need to flout and flaunt? AIBU to LTB?

I’m having a koala patronus. A lazy, languid, hanging around and snoozing in a tree patronus.

Tappering will he change his mine if you tell him you’ll flagrantly flout and flaunt?

*mind!

People seem to be gleefully waiting the post VE Day spike in deaths. They said the same about Easter and deaths have fallen since then.

Ahh, but the Death Eaters government planned this deliberately so that when there's a second peak after them raising lockdown, they'll be able to point to VE Day and say it's All Our Own Fault.

I am so pissed off - DD2 in particular is really suffering now - has regressed so much developmentally, most of the progress made from a year of speech therapy has been lost and emotionally she is a complete mess and terrified of flying things... and the twats in our street are all next door having a party in the garden huddled in together. It's not that they're going to literally murder anyone - it's that they're rubbing my kid's suffering's nose in it that winds me the fuck up.

I just want to bloody cry at the moment - I'm watching two kids completely unravel - school have gone into no-response locked down mode for the younger one and I'm desperately desperately worried about her.

Johnny, all that meme has done here is reactivate my fear of Jaws!!

Sorry, that came across super self-pitying, poor-little-me

Frankly you are perfectly entitled to feel sorry for yourself, but you actually sound really fantastic and I wish I knew you in real,life. Your children are very lucky.

It is shit that you've got the double whammy of shittiness, but look at it this way.....write this year off. Get better. Get stronger. Get through it however you can. Your children are very young, in years to come they probably won't even remember this - but what they will remember is all the fun and adventures that they are going to have with you when you get better. Hold on in there.