films that are utter shit

[bluefoxmug]

following up from this thread

re-watching the 'old' star wars films...
oh god, they are shite. not even indiana jones harrison ford can make up for the shiteness.

@FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums I have it cued up. I'll watch it tonight with my daughter who expressed a desire to see it when we saw the trailer back when.

(And I agree with you about Tarentino). But there are films which DO redeem themselves along the line. E.G. I hated the first half of Pieces of April - but persevered because Oliver Platt is one of my favourite actors. By the end of the film I was fully caught up and was in floods of tears (in a good way) so I'm glad I did.

LaLa Land. Seriously bad!

Gamer fat man pretends to be girl and masterbates while controlling said girl

Watchman I want my life back after watching that dross

Mars attacks watched it with friends like 😱🥱🤷‍♀️ paused it had a fag said nothing for about five minutes till one said what the fuck IS THIS FILM? is it SUPPOSED to be FUNNY? because no one was laughing

The Greatest Showman. Awful songs, nothing remotely resembling historical accuracy, characters with zero depth and why don’t the children age despite it being set over a period of around five years?

the disney real life remakes.
tedious

TheSandman

Let us know what you thinknk to it.
I won't spoil anything.

Let us know what you thinknk to it.
I won't spoil anything.

I loved it. I really really did. And as always when I'm sitting in the glow of a good film I'm really at a loss to tell you why. Bad films I can rattle on about for ages picking holes in plot and technical details I spotted along the way - but with a good film (or at least a film I get sucked into and inhabit for a couple of hours) I just go with it.

Technically there were a couple of moments that did make me have "ooh nice camera move!" thoughts - those times where I'm taken out of the film briefly by some great piece of technique. Paul walking down the corridor on his way to miniaturization - I'm not savvy enough to know what kind of lens they must have had to use to get that and how difficult the focus-pulling was but that was nice. Similarly the gentle dolly in on Hong Chau as she tells the men she is going to Norway. Beautifully done. And a stonking bit of acting too.

And it had Udo Kier! Udo Kier is great. He's always worth watching.

My Daughter and I had the most incredible fit of the giggles when the nurses started lifting the minified patients with fish slices... And the "I'm going to take my shoes off now" had us in fits.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. If you have not read the book or see the (far superior) Alec Guinness TV version, you stand very little chance of following the plot. Plus the locations were awful. What was a small seedy hotel in Victoria which Smiley holes up in (in the book) turns into a massive abandoned factory in the film. And what was the drunked Xmas party all about (other than to give Le Carre a cameo). Awful. Just awful.

Grease....cringey over acted shite.

High-Rise. Still have no clue what the hell was going on. Utter crap!

@TheSandman

Well it is true that all films have their fans.
I just found it long, dull and mostly kind of pointless. It never picked a path and stuck with it. Is it a sci-fi movie? A romance? A comedy / satire? A drama? Trying to be all things and failing at each makes it hollow and meandering.

The Draughtsman’s contract- our shorthand for pretension
Zama - an Argentinian film that has become our new shorthand for pretention ( we were in a situation where we could not leave the screening or the Q & A after. Time stopped )
Mama Mia - hammy, horrible.
La La land
Moulin Rouge ( not keen on modern musicals, it would seem....)

The Greatest Showman.

quite a few mention films that I love, ie, Moulin Rouge, Lost in Translation.

takes all sorts
Steel Magnlias, boring
hated Knocked Up
Dont like any Lord of the rings
Harry Potter Is for children, so I let them off.

The remake Lion King, apart from the music, bit of a waste of time.

and also hate
I Love you man

I've tried a couple of the Harry Potter films (haven't read the books) and never got more than about 10 minutes in. And I'll watch any old thing.

Lost In Translation was awful.

I loved Lost in Translation

Bird box. Pains me to think someone made a lot of money from that film.

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

"It never picked a path and stuck with it. Is it a sci-fi movie? A romance? A comedy / satire? A drama? Trying to be all things and failing at each makes it hollow and meandering."

Not sure 'hollow' is the right word. Unresolved yes, certainly not a standard Hollywood 'Happy ever after' ending. I don't see that it failed anywhere. It was funny; gags were set up nicely and paid off - quite often anticlimactically but came out of the situation. they weren't forced - the scenes weren't built round the gag. The romance was touching and for a change not conforming to Hollywood aesthetics of beauty. There were no 'Bad Guys', or 'Evil Plot to Dominate the World' for our mild-mannered protagonist to suddenly get buff and use his ninja physiotherapy skills to defeat...

In short I found it believable. I found the characters acted like real human beings not characters assigned roles - but then in any "ten characters stuck in an isolated situation with a killer thingie hidden in the airducts" movie I usually like the first half more than the running around getting killed by numbers routine that follows. I rapidly lose interest once they've boarded the abandoned space ship, defrosted whatever they found in the ice, brought in the strange artefact etc. The world building, first half is where all the thought and craft has gone in. That's interesting.

No Country For Old Men boring weird a violent a man with a bad haircut smashes around America

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy a load of men in grey suits mumbling Christ I was bored

The Royal Tenanbaums “ooh aren’t we quirky and kooky” no. One of dh and my first dates at the cinema so glad he thought it was shit too

I loved La La Land and Star is Born though

I didn't enjoy Interstellar, although willing to accept being in the minority. Wouldn't watch it again as I found it so dull.

A weird arty Jim Jarmusch film starring Bill Murray called Broken Flowers. It meandered aimlessly for what felt like about five hours, then just .... stopped.

Dirty Dancing - Someone called baby who looked at least 40! Hated the whole film.

Pretty Woman - Just no.