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films that are utter shit

232 replies

bluefoxmug · 08/05/2020 21:54

following up from this thread

re-watching the 'old' star wars films...
oh god, they are shite. not even indiana jones harrison ford can make up for the shiteness.

OP posts:
CherryStoneTree · 10/05/2020 13:12

2012
The family stone
the brie larsen musical about rice. Only film I've ever switched off

YouBoggleMyMind · 10/05/2020 13:27

La La Land... what a pile of shite.

Tappering · 10/05/2020 13:29

The Royal Tenenbaums. Went to the cinema to see it - complete drivel.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 10/05/2020 13:40

Train spotting. It actually made me feel grubby. I appreciate this might be the point, but.... bleugh.

In defence of Nicholas Cage, I enjoyed National Treasure (both films). I’ve actually chosen to rewatch them in lockdown - and still liked them. Which probably means that my critical facilities aren’t what they should be.

Crunchymum · 10/05/2020 13:44

Collateral
Boomdock Saints

Both utter tripe.

Slightly different to being a terrible film but DP and I watched Shutter Island on one of our real early "dates". It was a Friday night, we had planned wine and pizza, a film lots of new relationship sex. The film was so thoroughly depressing we went to bed without finishing the wine or having sex Shock

YinMnBlue · 10/05/2020 13:45

Breakfast Club. Ruined by dodgy sexist shite.

Crunchymum · 10/05/2020 13:46

Being John Malkovich deserves a mention for sheer oddity.

I haven't actually seen it but was so intrigued when a work colleague described the premise of the plot that I've read loads about it / watched clips.... Now just need to watch it.

Crunchymum · 10/05/2020 13:48

@YinMnBlue

I'm ashamed to admit as a child of the 80's I only saw Breakfast Club for the first time a month ago. It's of its era for sure but I really enjoyed it Blush

bumblenbean · 10/05/2020 13:48

Tinker tailor soldier spy. Abysmally dull

I saw it on a first date and when we came out my date couldn’t stop raving about it. It dawned on me at that point we may be incompatible Grin

YinMnBlue · 10/05/2020 14:25

Crunchymum I enjoyed most of it but couldn’t be doing with Bender sexually assaulting Claire, and harassing her throughout... then... happy ending, she falls for him. Yuk.

NeutralJanet · 10/05/2020 15:51

Nobody likes downsizing. I did but have to agree it was a bit um far fetched

I didn't mind it, it was good for the first half but the second half and the Norway stuff just dragged on and went nowhere.

TheSandman · 10/05/2020 15:53

What is the point of this thread?

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 10/05/2020 16:10

What is the point of this thread?

Entertainment, humour, chatting, sharing opinion etc etc.
Welcome to the internet and forums. Is this your first time or are you just generally a ploppy pants?

TheSandman · 10/05/2020 16:34

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

N, I've been a netizen since the days when we used the term - just idly wondering what people are getting out of this thread. 99% of the posts are:

"X is shit"

...and that's the end of the conversation - all seems all a bit pointless.

FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums · 10/05/2020 16:41

I would have thought it was obvious sandman - everyone is sharing their personal tastes - some with reasons why, some just listing them.
Some posters will validate your own opinions - for example, I am pleased to see that someone else thought Blair Witch was overrated.
Others you will think ''Oh, different folks, different strokes'' - for example, I am still fond of Truly, Madly, Deeply which is anathema to others.
Then there are films I haven't seen, which in the back of my mind will now be 'pre-warned' about - for example, Downsizing. The latter is interesting because personally, often how I react to a film, is how high my expectations were in the first place. So if in my mind going in, I will now be expecting it to be a shit/the lowest bar/LCD or whatever...I might find myself pleasantly surprised.
As for these types of thread, we are just chatting/finding a way to spend the time - I do like recommendation threads because I have found some lovely music and films that way, thanks to other posters.
For example, Chef and Hunt for the Wilderpeople. A song by Marina and the diamonds and a song by the DMs. Lovely posters put me on to all those. I don't mind a dislike thread either - as I said, it can inception you (I didn't like that movie either Wink) such that when you finally see that film, it might end up better than you thought...or if you aren't feeling it, you'll know MN has given you permission to walk out the lounge Grin
As for films that are odd/surreal - they don't all float my boat and I used to like seeing Arthouse movies - but some on my list I think are pretentious twaddle, that's just my opinion. If you have an adjective enter the English language because of your work - in this case Lynchian, then your output must have affected/reached/spoken to somebody. He's not my bag but doesn't have to be - I am sure others who liked Boots Riley's Sorry to bother you aren't going to be offended by me having eyerolled with a wtf halfway through. It's not personal, it's subjective like all art. I have enjoyed threads about modern art and conceptual art on here. Utter shit is hyperbole but just shorthand for not liking it, having an aversion or visceral reaction/not pandering to the hype or critics or top lists. I didn't like Citizen Kane. I've never seen Battleship Potemkin. I won't ever slate something I didn't watch but I can go against popular opinion for Moulin Rouge and denounce it as shite for me, whilst acknowledging it is perhaps others' favourite film they're wrong! Wink

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 10/05/2020 17:24

"X is shit"

...and that's the end of the conversation - all seems all a bit pointless

Yes, this describes 95% of the Non Porn internet, the other 5% is cat videos and memes.

TheSandman · 10/05/2020 17:54

I would have thought it was obvious sandman - everyone is sharing their personal tastes - some with reasons why, some just listing them.
Some posters will validate your own opinions - for example, I am pleased to see that someone else thought Blair Witch was overrated.
Others you will think ''Oh, different folks, different strokes'' - for example, I am still fond of Truly, Madly, Deeply which is anathema to others.
Then there are films I haven't seen, which in the back of my mind will now be 'pre-warned' about - for example, Downsizing. The latter is interesting because personally, often how I react to a film, is how high my expectations were in the first place. So if in my mind going in, I will now be expecting it to be a shit/the lowest bar/LCD or whatever...I might find myself pleasantly surprised.
As for these types of thread, we are just chatting/finding a way to spend the time - I do like recommendation threads because I have found some lovely music and films that way, thanks to other posters.
For example, Chef and Hunt for the Wilderpeople. A song by Marina and the diamonds and a song by the DMs. Lovely posters put me on to all those. I don't mind a dislike thread either - as I said, it can inception you (I didn't like that movie either wink) such that when you finally see that film, it might end up better than you thought...or if you aren't feeling it, you'll know MN has given you permission to walk out the lounge grin
As for films that are odd/surreal - they don't all float my boat and I used to like seeing Arthouse movies - but some on my list I think are pretentious twaddle, that's just my opinion. If you have an adjective enter the English language because of your work - in this case Lynchian, then your output must have affected/reached/spoken to somebody. He's not my bag but doesn't have to be - I am sure others who liked Boots Riley's Sorry to bother you aren't going to be offended by me having eyerolled with a wtf halfway through. It's not personal, it's subjective like all art. I have enjoyed threads about modern art and conceptual art on here. Utter shit is hyperbole but just shorthand for not liking it, having an aversion or visceral reaction/not pandering to the hype or critics or top lists. I didn't like Citizen Kane. I've never seen Battleship Potemkin. I won't ever slate something I didn't watch but I can go against popular opinion for Moulin Rouge and denounce it as shite for me, whilst acknowledging it is perhaps others' favourite film they're wrong!

All the hate for Downsizing here has made me want to see it more.

I try not to have expectations of a film when I see it - for the first time at least. For a while I had a huge pile of VHS tapes with no covers that I acquired from somewhere. Each night for months I would close my eyes and shove one in - not knowing what I was watching till the opening credits rolled. I had rule that I had to watch at least 20 minutes before I could stop. I found some great films like that - I also found that most 1990s soft-core 'erotic thrillers' fail in both counts and chopsocky films (not a genre I'd explored before) are great.

I often rewatch films that I thought were utter shite the first time round and found I was wrong - sometimes after watching more of the same director's films and getting into their groove. I thought Dark Habits - Pedro Almodóvar's first grown up movie - was crap but, after watching several more of his films and falling in love with them (apart from Kika - which I really disliked but will obviously have to go back to), I went back and took another look... and fell about laughing. I just hadn't 'got' the comedy first time. Sometimes expectations get in the way. Though I doubt if any number of watchings of Bula Quo will make it any less painful

Not seen Battleship Potemkin (though there is a copy in my DVD to be watched pile but having watched Alexander Nevsky recently, which must have been very dated and old-fashioned even in 1938, it's slipped down the running order a little).

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 10/05/2020 17:57

TBF to Downsizing it was marketed really badly. It's a sci-fi drama more than a comedy. Ultimately, it's shitter than Mr Shit from Shiteville that's just stepped in dog turd whilst cleaning bird plopsy from his Vauxhall Nova.

TheSandman · 11/05/2020 00:55

TBF to Downsizing it was marketed really badly. It's a sci-fi drama more than a comedy. Ultimately, it's shitter than Mr Shit from Shiteville that's just stepped in dog turd whilst cleaning bird plopsy from his Vauxhall Nova.

But WHY? What makes it so bad? That's what I want to know?

FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums · 11/05/2020 01:28

Sandman I'll watch it if you will! Grin for at least 20 minutes Wink
Then we can compare notes. You are correct in that the seeing of a film open-minded with no knowledge of it is generally a good thing - I think, speaking as someone pushing half a century, that the amount of choice, accessibility and for many, ironically, the lack of time (even in lockdown) nowadays means for some, not all, watching a film can be an investment rather than just popcorn fodder throwaway - so with any investment of your money or time, it's more practical (but less spontaneous) to read a review or go with a genre or a word-of-mouth recommendation. Especially if you are a grit-my-teeth-I-will-get-to the-end-if-it-kills-me-then-berate-the-three-hours-of-my-life-I'll-never get-back type (Tarrantino, OUIH looking at you mate) as opposed to this-is-a-dud-I-can-stop-watching-now person (as I get older, I am getting better with books at least...can now cast aside as life's too short whereas once upon a time it was no page shall be left unturned).
I worked for two years in a video shop so got to watch a lot of movies way back when. Now I have to be more selective (although you wouldn't know that from my netflix/prime history). Last film I loved was El Hoyo. Last film I begrudged was Zombieland 2.
I want to watch The Lunchbox, Boy; Hidden Figures and How to survive a plague doc on HIV this week - that's 8 hours when I should be getting other shit done. I am going to end up watching Downsizing aren't I?
It is interesting about mismarketing though - even if you go lalalalalalala you may still come across a trailer - and end up seeing a completely different movie which, if time is precious, can make you feel shortchanged if you have genre preferences.

FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums · 11/05/2020 01:46

Okay, I am 8 minutes in! Grin
That's quite a big pre-title sequence!
I am procrastinating.
Know nothing about the film other than it has Matt Damon in it and on the net of flix, it is free - had I had to pay to see it on Prime...I might not have been willing Smile.

FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums · 11/05/2020 01:48

So...do I quit while I'm ahead and get some of my other stuff done or do I procrastinate for another 12 minutes?

QuestionableMouse · 11/05/2020 02:01

Oh God open water bored me to tears.

Into the wild. Friend bought it for me because I was going travelling in Alaska and I was staying with her so her dad insisted we watch it. Hated the film (left me feeling really weird/uncomfortable) and it was one of the most awkward three hours of my life because she's easily upset so I had to spend the whole time pretending to be interested.

Sirrico. I just found it dull and draggy.

FiveOutOfFiveGoldblums · 11/05/2020 02:03

Okay, it passes the 20 minutes test - but sadly, I do need sleep and it has another 2 hours to go so I am out, at least until tomorrow and possibly when it gets to Norway

Bluesheep8 · 11/05/2020 06:37

Dirty Dancing. Absolute load of rubbish.