How to stop saving things for 'best'

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I'm so terrible at this! I buy nice skin products and don't use them for ages for fear of running out and not being able to replace them. I buy nice clothes and don't wear them because I don't want to wear them out/waste them on the everyday. I am making a resolution to change and looking for some mantras to hold in my head to force myself to wear the nice things! Does anybody else do this or am I just bonkers?

This is a habit I have somewhat picked up from my mother. She has always saved things "for best" and is now in her eighties with dementia unable to recognise her own possessions, and the silk nightware, formal dresses, jewellery and makeup in her cupboards will now never see the light of day with her.

I dont know what possible scenario she envisaged these things being saved for but the feeling I get from being taught this way of living is that me living my own life isnt "enough" to warrant using nice things. It has led me down enormous problems with low self esteem. My ever patient husband will on occasion ask me what occasion I am waiting for to use or wear something and treat me to little gift just because and it jars me into feeling more worthy of the things I have. I believe it is a habit you can overcome.

Its really difficult to change your mindset without actively focussing on it. I'm the same, I store things up but I am currently trying to actively use my nice beauty products etc at the moment having opened one and found it had gone off. Still can't bring myself to light my expensive candles though!

I tend to do this, but lockdown has forced me to use the nice stuff at the back of my cupboard.

Tell yourself you deserve it. No point in delayed gratification, now more than ever.

In fact Im going to go upstairs now and slap on some expensive face serum and moisturiser.

It's partly that everyday stuff is easy wash/ dry and best requires greater care or dry cleaning so it's more can't be arsed than keep for best 😬

I made it a New Years resolution a few years ago to use the good stuff and not save it for best.

It feels good to use the gorgeous bag I worked hard for, drink the god wine from the nice glasses and yes use the fancy moisturiser that came in a gift with purchase that I'd never fork out for on its own.

There is no point making nice things into dust gatherers.

I do this with clothes, I have some beautiful things but always put off wearing it and end up in jeans. I've no idea why but the voice in my head tells me I'll look silly and overdressed. I honestly don't know why. Plus over lockdown I've put on weight and now some things don't fit but I'm determined to lose the weight and wear the damn clothes!

I wish I'd worn all my 'best' clothes that are hanging in my wardrobe (some still with tags). I've turned into a wide-arsed woman since lockdown and nothing fits now.

Channel your inner Liz Taylor and wear them - if they look good, you'll feel good. Otherwise you may as well sell them and use the money for something you'll use/wear, etc. I've put perfume on today after weeks without and no makeup and it's made me feel good, although I'm still dressed in 'loungewear'.

I don't really have anything for best...sometimes I wish I did.

It's a combination I think, of being overly self-indulgent and not having the funds to buy anything other than for use.

I think there is a happy medium. I don't think there is anything wrong with saving things unless you think you're taking it to the extreme, things do eventually get used and don't stay as some sort of strange cupboard ornament. Like a nice food, that you save but by the time you deem best has come its already gone off.

Maybe think about why this item is for best. Skin care products, open that tub straight away. If you like it buy a couple more, then there is no fear of it running out.

Nice clothes, are they so much 'nicer' than your current? Make an effort to gather a wardrobe of the higher quality item, then the nice is your new normal.

I might have try this in the reverse....I waste so much money on crappy stuff, then feel like I can't afford actual nice things...

Do you feel you don't deserve the nice things you've bought? Were you always told that you've wasted something when you've used something nice?

You do deserve it, and it's not a waste to use the things you enjoy.

I’m working on this too. STBXH helped me slightly. He used to eat all the good stuff and I’d be like “I was saving that” For what though? For what? So then I started eating it before he got there and it slowly, slowly extended into clothes, skincare, etc.

I’ve managed to cure myself if this by only buying the best. It’s not cheap but I’ve been able to massively cut down the amount of crap I own and I now look lovely very often.

Mine was mainly nice perfume and bath bits that I wanted to save for best. Then I realised one day I would die and who ever sorted out my things would find a load of decent stuff and chuck them! I am of the mindset now that life is too short to worry about If my perfume is too fancy for work

My DM and DGM did this. The end result was that nice things like linen table cloths which had been carefully embroidered were put away "for best" for 60 odd years, and the moths got them, and ruined them. All that careful work was wasted.

Now with things like dresses, I will try to keep them back a bit for the first season that I buy them, but then demote them to everyday wear afterthat.

I'm the same - have a whole wardrobe full of lovely clothes but live in jeans and t- shirts unless I'm going somewhere special.

I remember buying a china dinner service 30 years ago. The sales advisor spent a long time helping me decide which pieces I would need according to me budget. As she carefully wrapped my purchase she said to me " don't keep this for best - use and enjoy". I still remember that advice all these years on - although i do only use it when we have guests or at Christmas - but we do entertain quite a lot (not at the moment obviously).

Maybe you could adopt the mantra 'use and enjoy' when bringing home your purchases.

Always use for best items! My friend asked for an set of Eternal Beau crockery as wedding gifts. I remember seeing it for over a decade sat unused under her sink while we ate off crappy plates. I guess it ended up dumped as was very of its time in the 90s. These are your things, for use in your one life, enjoy every second of them! I still look sadly at the bottle of champagne someone gave me in 1998 and realise that probably 20 big occasions have come and gone, and six house moves, and yet it still lurks.

My grandparents did this with clothes and household stuff, and we ended up donating it all to the Salvation Army when they passed. Use your good stuff while you’re here to enjoy it. And don’t buy more till you’ve used it!

I have a bad habit of doing this especially when the kids were young, I especially remember I bought a pair of fancy shoes for my daughter and kept them as best and when she actually went to wear them they were too small. I also inherited this habit from my mum 😥

I am a big advocate of not saving things for best.

I get huge enjoyment when I use the expensive bubble bath or candle for no reason other than it’s there.

I was inspired by a thread in Mumsnet in the first place. It was stories shared about unused crockery that was saved for best or spoiled beauty products that never got used.

Treat yourself!!

I know someone who’s very well off. She has no idea about keeping things for best. She just buys the best and uses it everyday because it makes her life nicer. I do this as much as I can afford to, it really does make you happier in small ways. Enjoy your stuff.

@Squidwitch I too have a lonely bottle of champagne taking up space in the fridge since my 30th back in 2004 that I've had plenty of occasions to crack open since but forgot.
Household stuff I use regardless of being best or not but I must admit to having saved the best clothes to the point of having nothing left in the way of everyday wear that is not washed out or holed.
Now with nowhere to go and no reason to get dressed up in the foreseeable future, I'm going to have to get my moneys worth out of my wardrobe and wear the pencil skirt and red soles to mow the lawn and pick up dog shit.

Used to be like this aswell, i think its a habit inherited from my mother. It must be a generation thing. i started by slowely cutting back on what i buy. For clothes i bought more expensive things of basics, you pick up good buys in the sales aswell as on ebay, found these washed better and kept their shape so slowely weeded out the poorer quality things. I now have a combination of reiss ted baker cos for my work, still mixed with one of two bits from Dunnes etc as they stil have some nice bits. Stuff is easy to wear and last. I get compliments in work and some are shocked and say oh i only wear old crap to work :( My partner wasnt broight up like i was (propbaly more money) and buys good quality stuff etc. Same with beuty products hir etc, you spend so much money on looking after your hair use the good shampoo to keep it you will find that as you only need a small amout it last longer. Therfore will cost you the same in the long rin. My partner says penny wise pund foolish to me so many times that its now in graned in my head. Go on treat yourself you will fell really good about yourslef though still can not bring my self to light the large Jo Malone candle we got as an engagemnet present two years ago.

I ised to then thought why? I deserve the best. I like nice things and i should use them for me.

So glad to hear it's not just me! I like the 'use and enjoy' mention. I am going to work really hard to enjoy my stuff as you all suggest. It's such an engrained habit though, it's going to take me a while to break. I also buy more stuff to add to the unused pile. It's so stupid!

Thinking of cost per wear always made that switch flip in my mind. A 100 quids pair of trainers for example that i will wear a lot is more value than an 80 quids dress for an event that i may rewear a few more times, if not once.
Also things go out fo fashion or deteriorate with time so conserving isnt always good value as you may end up chucking it out anyway.