How to stop saving things for 'best'

[Nightlights]

I'm so terrible at this! I buy nice skin products and don't use them for ages for fear of running out and not being able to replace them. I buy nice clothes and don't wear them because I don't want to wear them out/waste them on the everyday. I am making a resolution to change and looking for some mantras to hold in my head to force myself to wear the nice things! Does anybody else do this or am I just bonkers?

We visited a relative we rarely see on our way to a holiday. They served a meal on really nice crockery and I commented that we never used our wedding present crockery. My aunt said that must! We never knew what was around the corner and we should make the most of the move stuff!

We blew the dust off our wedding present cutlery and crockery as soon as we got home.

I used to save stuff for best and a few years ago, when I had a clear out, I had to throw out lots of skincare that had gone off and clothes that were no longer in fashion.

I how have a happy medium. I don't use my good things everyday, but I use them regularly and I look after them well to keep them in good condition.

For example, I have some nice bags, which were expensive (for me). I don't use them everyday as I commute to central London which can be brutal. I tend to use them during school holidays when the commute is a bit quieter.

Likewise, with my nice clothes, I don't wear them when lounging around the house, but if we are going out, eg cinema, visiting family, I will make a point of changing.

I do try and keep my nice things nice, so I spend time looking after them. Bags are kept in dust bags when not in use. Shoes are polished and i won't wear certain ones if it's raining (unless it's a short walk from venue to car). I have innerwear for my nice tops and dresses as I'm quite sweaty.

I feel like I have a good balance as It feels like a treat when I use my nice items, but I'm still looking after them.

Don’t save for best, thats a waste of money, think of clothes as pay per wear. It’s also a good way to justify buying something expensive.

I’m back at work today after furlough, I’ve worn nothing but sweat shorts and t-shirts for weeks. Today I’m in work mode so I’m wearing a Tom Ford suit.

Why buy something nice to leave it in the closet.

I do this too, clothes, perfumes, spirits and champagne.

I realised some expensive perfumes were out of date and so I had actually wasted my money. Now I’m a bit older I try not to save things as things just don’t get used!

My parents had wedding chins that was used maybe once a year. After about 30 years they just decided to start using it every day and it seemed to really make them happy.

I wear my nice clothes and light the candles etc etc.

And I don’t think I’ve ever kept a bottle of champagne more than a week

I do have some wine I’ve had for a few years but it was bought from a vineyard for aging so I don’t think that counts.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs - I’m exactly the same. I was a SAHM for years so always wore jeans/casual clothes - still do to a large extent. When I try and wear anything else I feel too dressed up and think what’s the point. It really is a mindset battle.

I try to always buy "second best" or "slightly better than average" then there is less reluctance to using these things

bigbluebus

When I got married the second time over twenty years ago I put Greenwich denby on my wedding list, so I really got every thing I could possibly need!! I was so please as I would have never spent that much money myself on China wear. When we got back from honeymoon I unpacked all the boxes that had been delivered from Debenhams, I started butting all the plates and bowels in the sideboard, my husband said what you doing I said putting it away for best he said no we are throwing all the old stuff out to the charity shop. We are going to use all this stuff every day.

Twenty years on I still use my Denby ever day , and every few years I replace anything that has been broken order from Denby direct online.

Oh blimey, I’m always using nice ‘for best’ things.
I really don’t see the point in spending the money in the first place for things to sit in the cupboard and ignored! You’ll be dead one day and it’ll either get enjoyed by someone else or binned.
The fancy candles, skincare, makeup, bags, coats, perfume, food, my favourite expensive drinking glasses.. all of it is in regular use!
I’m quite an extravagant person it may seem 😂

I'm looking for more excuses to use my wedding china. It's very pretty... But DCs still create regular breakages (and their 'job' is setting and clearing the table). But any old excuse... I think VE Day will be an excuse.

My good clothes are evening dresses... I can imagine the looks of I started wearing those on a daily basis.

DH using a his crystal whiskey glasses and decanters all the time (not that he's drinking all the time, more he buys nice whiskey, puts it in one of his decanters, and enjoys a glass a few times a week). A couple came from his DGMs house, were they had never been used. He uses his nice port glasses as well.

The older generations (80+) tended to have things just for show to put in their China cabinets - my MIL does for one. It comes from having been brought up in poverty, but not wanting it to show, so keeping up appearances. In a nicer way than Hyacinth Bucket, mind you.

My mother did this and fortunately it is not a trait I inherited.

I have heard so many people say 'I don't want to spend much as it's only for everyday.' It is weird £200 for a dress for a wedding but will only spend £20 on jeans. Mad really

Sounds a bit nutty but I think of the thing's 'purpose'. That outfit was made to make you feel lovely, and you're not doing right by it keeping it in your wardrobe. That expensive moisturiser was made to make your skin feel better, not sit in a cupboard, the special dinnerware was meant to make you feel joy as you placed it on your table - not sit put away. There was thought put into the design, the recipe, the manufacturing. I think if you really think about what things are for you see their purpose. Change the thing's purpose from 'for best' because all that means is 'I'm ignoring it and keeping it in storage'. That's not why these things were made and are in your possession OP, let them fulfil their purpose!

@Puffinhead it's grim because I can wear "smart" jeans etc to work so I'm never out of them!

The question I'd ask, is what is this 'best' you're saving things for? Is it real - events you know will happen; parties, weddings etc. or is it a fantasty?

If you're buying things for fantasy situations, acknowledge that and stop buying them.

If OTOH you're buying things for real-life events and situations, think about why you're going to those events under-dressed.

Crack open the champagne on Friday PP! Otherwise it will spoil.

I used to save things for best I think because I didn’t have much as a child and I have hoarding tendencies. But stuff goes off, clothes date.

Unless it’s a ball gown I’m wearing it.

Dh has started drinking his tea in a bone china cup and saucer poured out of the china teapot (all part of our wedding china). He says it tastes better.

we have seven bottles of champagne sitting "waiting". Its crazy

I find this mindset really hard to shift. It's a hangover from my mums generation absolutely but also from the 90's.
No one dressed up in the 90's it was sort of laughed at. I used to look longingly at clothes and wish I had something to wear it to that wouldn't be scoffed at. The current towie love island culture of dressing up at all times would have been a wonderland for teenage me!

Now I work with much younger women who dress up all the time I feel more comfortable dressing up.

My mum always used to say ' no ones going to look at you!'

I have to rein myself in with dd2 who wants to dress up all the time not to say no that's for best!!!

Wow - snap

I have spent most of my life doing this. Then I have clothes that go out of fashion barely worn and I live in old/horrible clothing most of the time. It's a hard habit to break - perhaps from a poor background so instilled in you?

You are good enough to have the best now - use the creams and wear the clothes.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs - the same here!

A few years ago on TV they were helping people to de-clutter and an eldery lady had lots of 'Best china, glasswear and linens etc' that she didn't use. She had no relatives to leave them to but didn't use them as she was afraid of breaking or spoiling them. Although it sounded rather harsh the presenter said when you die they will all go in the rubbish or to a charity shop and it won't matter if their are only 5 cups or a stain on a tablecloth. She said if you like them, use them. It was like giving the lady permission to use them. She gave all her everyday stuff to a charity shop and used her best stuff and loved the luxury of using all her 'posh' stuff everyday.

We make a particular point of using our Wedgwood china for every Sunday lunch. Life’s too short