How to stop saving things for 'best'

[Nightlights]

I'm so terrible at this! I buy nice skin products and don't use them for ages for fear of running out and not being able to replace them. I buy nice clothes and don't wear them because I don't want to wear them out/waste them on the everyday. I am making a resolution to change and looking for some mantras to hold in my head to force myself to wear the nice things! Does anybody else do this or am I just bonkers?

I think there’s more to it though. Receiving or buying something ‘for best’ is often to enjoy the anticipation of possibly using something that’s ever so special. But what makes it actually special?

Keeping special plates for years, then you actually use them and realise they are just plates. Something to eat your food off. Keeping special face creams, but you use them and realise it’s just Nivea with perfume.

When selling luxury products it’s the idea of the value that makes it expensive. Like sunglasses, they can go for hundreds but one cheap pair is not so much different to an expensive pair.

I don’t know how really to explain it well but by saving it you are actually buying the excitement of anticipation of actually having to use something so special one day. It doesn’t matter what the thing actually is.

It all keeps us in our place. Whilst we are hoarding and saving and dreaming we don’t notice that they are just plates or plastic frames. We have put so much value on them in our heads from messages in society that they become priceless.

What happens when we stop and realise and use things straight away? That the things we thought were ever so special didn’t actually make us that excited. Is the value gone? Do we buy other things or do we stop altogether? Then what do we find to make us happy?

I'm a bit like this but lockdown has changed it. I've used everything, indulged in all my lovely premium skincare gifts I got for Xmas, wear perfume every day, choose a nice outfit to wear daily. It's done my MH a world of good and I am getting the use out of things for which they were intended. I shall continue this going forward. It's been quite liberating!

Totally get what you’re saying, whisky.

It’s like when you come home with a bag from Harvey Nicks versus a bag from Debenhams. Might be the same purchase inside, but it’s the swinging it on your arm around town, the unwrapping of the tissue paper...
The association of luxury is a huge draw, when really it’s an illusion. Brand names are often just that.

@whiskybysidedoor - sort of the Christmas Eve principle? That things as yet undiscovered are more exciting than the things that are already known?

I hate this, my mum has an irrational problem with this, she had fancy hand soap in the cupboard and had everyone washing their hands with a bar of soap, weird, she actually admitted to keeping it like she didn't want to use it. Something DH never ever do, we don't really have 'best' items anyway but thing are bought to be used! But I think I've went the opposite to my mum because she's abit of a hoarder

Re the growing up poor, my DH grew up poor and had the piss taken out of him at school for his crap shoes from the market when everyone else was wearing the trendy trainers. Unsurprisingly our DC are very well shod and he now collects shoes. Mostly to look at and feel happy (I don't fully understand this, surely you would want to wear them!?) and ones he particularly likes he will buy two pairs - "one to wear and one to stare". Apparently this is A Thing amongst shoe people generally.

He has more shoes than I do and that really is a lot

I understand this, Sorryoo, I never had enough slippers growing up, nor knickers - now I could supply them in bulk. It leaves an imprint, your childhood experience.

Interesting someone dates this to the 90s. In my house it was because my mum was born in the 40s and grew up with rationing. So there was scarcity so you did save things for ‘best’ because there wouldn’t be another one.

Meant you could wear your ‘good’ coat to that party or have a matching set of crockery for a dinner party.

As we’ve got more stuff we haven’t lost the mentality. And culturally there is a shift to less formal living, dressing, dining even though there is still the wedding list culture of getting a good China set.

Like a lot of other PP, I find it hard to use things, it ingrained that it’s for ‘special’. I too have found stickers from my childhood that I never found anything special enough to stick them to!

While I agree with the shift away from material things I think having things which gives a sense of occasion - nice glasses or a bottle of champagne - do make events stand out.

The only thing I keep for best is dry clean and hand wash clothes because I'm lazy. Although most of them eventually get risked in the washing machine...

The nice crockery is on a break until DC2 is old enough not to be likely not to break it. Also the plates were too big for previous house's built in dishwasher so had to be hand washed - again, too lazy!

Make up isn't kept for best, I just wear it so rarely I can't really justify spending more!

DH has been a good influence on me, as well. He only buys Levi’s, good shirts / t-shirts. Polishes his leather boots. He always looks smart.

Thinking about it the reason we keep Champagne is that drinking it is a commitment to drink the entire bottle as it will use its fizz. Wine is different because you start with the intention to just drink a glass and have the rest the next day, although that is not always the outcome. Opening a bottle of champagne fixes the intention to drink the entire bottle and do nothing else productive that evening!

Can’t keep champagne too long though. Many are meant to be drunk young and certainly not kept much longer than 5-7 Years

I think we just need to be more realistic about our drinking habits and accept that we will just drink the bottle!

It's more about saving it until there's company to 'help' than for best!

Keeping an outfit for a specific wedding on a specific date is fine, especially for children but once the wedding has passed let them wear it for parties, for visiting grandparents even going shopping it won't fit them next summer or if unsuitable to wear again sell the outfit.
we use our decent china and cutlery every day DH did object a bit but it was mine so I made the change nothing has broken yet but if it does it is not the end of the world

Bumping this, as it's a good lockdown thread

I've come back to this thread because as the pp said, this had become relevant for me again in lockdown. I've spent so much on clothes to make myself feel better and then I'm not bloody wearing them cos the kids will make them messy or I'm not going anywhere. I can't seem to stop just saving things. I'm hoping for a mantra to snap myself out of this way of acting! Can anyone relate?

Just came across this thread - thanks for starting OP!

I'm terrible for this. Not so much with clothes but I recently came across a beautiful perfume I was saving that has gone off. I've lots of perfumes and I try to use them up starting with cheapest / low cost for everyday and then nicer ones for occasion. But I've got my favourite - expensive one out to use daily now. So I smell amazing and love it! I even put a squirt on after a shower in the evening in my pyjamas.

I'm trying to wear my more expensive makeup as well.

As a child I kept a wonderful crayola pen/ pencil/ crayon set and over the years it dried out. Also kept sticker books which I've now given to my 3 year old. I have no idea why I kept these things. I gave a collection of well kept magazines to a niece and she asked why I never wrote in them to complete the puzzles etc 🤷‍♀️

Generally though I buy less but good quality stuff.

I do weirdly do it with self help books
Though. I read one page at a time because I don't want to miss anything and it means I have lots of books with just one or two chapters read I do same with magazines. I have to read everything on every page

Wit the freezer I always think I'll keep stuff for a rainy day but that rainy day never happens! I always end up buying fresh so it's such a waste

China is classic for this people using awful everyday China then it ends up, in a charity shop after a house clearance, being flogged for a fraction of the price!!

Use it!!

I had a habit of this, the only thing that changed it for me was my dad suddenly dying and I realised that nothing is sure in life so do and wear what you want! Additionally COVID has taught me a lot about the same too reinforced my new way of thinking if you like. I’m a lot more laid back life is too god damn short

*saving their beautiful China for best and it ends up..

I've started wearing my 'best' perfume everyday. I don't go anywhere nice any more due to the pandemic so it will go off (one bottle of my good one usually lasts a year of going out/doing nice things) and I've recently found out it's the only 'smell on me' that my ASD son likes. I've been known to put something flashy on for the school run and had an amazing array of compliments which feels nice. I also find my lovely expensive red lipstick teamed with anything changes even trackies and walking boots into a more glam look

Yes, I've been good with perfume! And like the PP I do it with books too!! It's like I'm waiting to be in a better place or something where enjoying these things will just be a matter of course but I'm not there yet. It's a worry about the thing getting worn out or ruined or lost to me I think. It's so mad!

@Wexone. You should light your candle tonight. They lose their scent over time & you won't ever get the best out of it :(

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants ah dont tell me that - have it two years sitting in pride place middle of my mantle