THIGHLAND, get your arses in here

[ThighThighofthigh]

We're back to volunteer our special services. Please come in and we can cure you of all your ridiculous angst. Yeth, we know we're thilly thausagesth.

When did he become my boyfriend? All I said was that he had a big cock, even bigger than Thigh’s!!!

Let the insanity envelope you. You’ll figure it out fast

Here is a lifehack, if you piss yourself in public keep your face completely normal so people think they're imagining it.

I'm here!

Morning, Kit!

@Thatbitchcarolebaskin how does a lay down binge work...?

@myidentitymycrisis if it pleases you to do so every Thursday! Not on other days of the week.

[slinks in. Finds old slanket - pisssss to reclaim - hides herself in corner, legs entwined around 'rusty' shovel, rocking back and forth moaning quietly whilst necking Gin]

Came here for Fuckboys and gin. Sad.

Wakes up, pisses exuberantly and watches the pretty golden fountain glinting in the sun. Sucks last drops of gin from hip flask.

You can have a lay down binge intravenously Frown

I do it with wine sometimes, straight in the pulmonary!

@BishopFrownOfStThigh you keep laying down

Here is a lifehack, if you piss yourself in public keep your face completely normal so people think they're imagining it.

Thigh is speaking from experience.

It worked!! Nobody looked!!

I have stumbled in.. I was given sage words in the original thigh advice thread. Things seem to have changed around here

Can we still receive wisdom or just jizz?

Mum you can have special wisdom

I've been dumped. Other than lying down a lot (I have heeded previous wisdom) and eating a lot of crisps... Is there anything else that will heal my broken heart?

Thanks in advance oh wise thigh

Can I clap my thighs together?

I’ve just been reading a thread about big bums & the art of arse-clapping. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3875915-Friend-saying-her-huge-bum-is-small?pg=3&order=

@Mumteedum I advise a giant with a big cock.
And he’s not 12! Don’t believe their lies

Mum romance is dead, almost all couples annoy each other. You're free of all that now. I hope you lifted his credit card, he's clearly an insane cunt. He dumped you because being near you highlighted how evil he is.

I would recommend that you write him a letter telling him it's over and dumping him back. Post it.

Tig in which shops can 12 year olds buy energy drinks? Always have your defence prepared.

Tigg have you ID'd the giant? Make him show ID to prove he's not 12!

A big cock is not proof in itself, he might be an early developer!

Thank you @ThighThighofthigh. Wise words I will cherish horizontally. I will reflect and eat more crisps.

Empress I've had a look at the arse clapping thread, I'm not sure I'm into it. In fact I know I'm just not that much into it.

I am already riddled with the clap and I'm also clapping and banging on a pan for the NHS every Thursday, and that's enough of an effort made without training my arse to clap itself.

I'll go and have another look ... I wonder if they'll accept a clap of thunder? I could easily manifest one of those!