The Robbing Butcher - Immortalized At Last

[MhorOrLessTheMustress]

Here continues the tale of the Robbing Butcher, his whimsical opening hours, and TheMustressMhor's daily quest for his finest produce.

link deleted by MNHQ. We're afraid we don't generally allow links to personal blogs on the site

I have the most amazing news! Mr Hippo is in cleaning mode (brings down a daily dusty box from the attic for me to sort - drives me nuts) and has found a forgotten bottle of gin. I am very much looking forward to G&T tomorrow

PenguinOrHippo

So very jealous!

Mr LaMa also in cleaning/clearing out mode.
Found no gin whatsoever * but proudly presented me with a Magic 8 Ball that I got him years ago because he is incapable of a straight "yes" or "no"
(Me: "Is water wet or dry, O Best Beloved?"
Mr LM: "Generally wet, on the whole")
or making a firm decision, and asked if he should get rid of it...

ASK THE BLOODY BALL! IT'S WHAT IT'S FOR!

Lockdown going very smoothly here. Ahem.

*This is my fault apparently.
Bloody cheek.

Well my neck and shoulders are aching from WFH and looking down at laptop. Will need to sort out working position or I’ll look like Quasimodo soon

But have woken to smell of fresh bread yum yum

DP has promised clear out mode of the garden sheds next week ... when it’s supposed to rain ! Is gloss paint considered an essential diy item do you know? As that’s another job he could do

He has gleefully announced he will have time to start practicing to play the guitar again ... I said not when I’m on video conferencing you’re not... unless he goes to the shed

Fancy a bottle of gin turning up unexpectedly. That is definitely a result.

I would be so happy if that happened to me.

Meanwhile, in other news, I have been trying to think of a topic for discussion so that I can start yet another thread.

Hmmm.

I wondered if I should don my tin hat and point out to all the people who are panicking that they will now have to live on state benefits, that there is nothing to worry about.

Everyone knows that people on benefits go on four expensive holidays a year and get a free car from the government.

Too goady?

Too goody. And the thread will be taken down.

How about something that “it is very important for you to see your friends, so would it be ok if you invited your bookclub into your garden for a cup of tea if you all sat 2m apart....”? and sit back and wait for the explosion. And massively different opinions.

Hi Hippo.

Surely book clubs only drink prosecco?

hippo you are baaaaaad aaaaassss - I like your style.

Finding an unexpected bottle of gin is like finding a tenner in a coat pocket when you havent worn it for yonks.

Blowing a bloody gale again here although very sunny but not nice for gardening.

Braved aldi instead - wine's essential right? Queued for 20 mins to get in, man in front of me was the most excruciating bore and also world leading expert on Covid 19. Luckily, he chose the man in front of him to enlighten with his explanations, but I considered coughing copiously just to piss him off. My better self intervened. And nice lady in Aldi told me that I could have 8 bottles of rather than 4 as long as they were 2 different kinds. Result!

Mr Worfs waited outside Sainsbury’s for 15min, we needed milk and Easter eggs.

I keep thinking about the people stuck with 80kg of rice and 100 cans of beans. I bet they regret purchasing so much, now that it needs eating.

Eggs again, 7Penguins?

Oh well. I s'pose chocolate ones are different.

Hippo I think you should start the book club thread.

Morning all! (It is still morning isn't it? I've so lost track). Are we well? Or not so poorly?

Inspired by the patio at Mhor Cottage I have two projects planned. One is a metal rose arch to replace the cheap one that fell apart during the recent high winds. It is currently supporting a clematis Armandii Apple blossom that I don't want to lose. Now that the magnolia is looking very sorry for itself due to frost burn, the clematis has taken up the slack with its lovely pink fragrant flowers.

The other is a chiminea which should be arriving any day. My plan is to fire it up so we can sit outside in the cooler evenings. We are already cycling round the garden for exercise. If we get a good summer the above ground pool will be set up. I am planning to make lockdown work Chez Fleas.

Morning, fleas.

I am concerned that the patio at Mhor Cottage would inspire anyone to do anything positive.

However, what you have outlined will undoubtedly improve the garden experience Chez Fleas.

If we were not all in lockdown I would hot-foot it round and try it out myself. I should very much enjoy watching you and Mr. Fleas cycling round the garden, whilst I sat and ate my way through a stack of Stornoway black puddings.

Lockdown at Mhor Cottage consists primarily of me gazing out of the window and Mr. Mhor strutting around the garden, trying to pretend he isn't horrified that the Miracle-Gro he spilled accidentally has caused a lot of damage to the accursed patio.

We live in troubling times.

BORIS WRITES TO THE NATION

And says nothing more than he's already said on telly.

Waiting with bated breath for my letter from Boris. Will it be personalised do we think?

Been out again for more wine as local rumour said sainsbos had it. Stocks are a bit more healthy now.

Also got 2 cabinets from Argos (in sainsbos) for the girls bathroom. Mirrored doors, going to stack them one on top of the other to hold their multiple bottles/tubs of various goop. They can have a happy afternoon assembling said cabinets and bickering over who has which one.

Hope those poorly are feeling a bit better. Too bloody windy to go out with the hound, she is getting resigned to it I think.

I also endeavour to make the garden experience better - ordered a good sized paddling pool for baby, but all of us can fit in there, plus a stylish Japanese-style parasol.

May I just say how nice it is to have you back where you belong, Mustress. If all is not quite right with the world, it's certainly righter.

Just a minor whinge. For the last three days the wind here has been from the east. Any other direction I can cope with, can find a quiet spot to work in the garden and entertain the dog at the same time. Easterly winds whip through this place like a windy wind on a very windy day. It's very wearing.

You're not wrong yolo. An East wind finds itself into EVERYTHING. The bastard.

Aw fleas I am glad to be back.

I am glad that you all enjoyed drinking your way through the Mhor Cottage drinks cabinet while I was away.

Mr. Mhor wants to know which one of you took the left-over slabs.

I would like to know where the grans piano has gone?

Grand piano, even.

I do believe the RB had a problem with some patio slabs, so praps send Mr Mhor in his direction?

Absolutely not guilty re the drinks cabinet, can't stand sherry and catherine has already laid claim to the Baileys (almond or not, vegan or not)

Also not guilty re the mother's ruin

Have you checked your stocks?

Basically I blame LaM

I have been musing about the unintended consequences of lockdown following a convo with DD, who pointed out that I might be expected to attend to Mr Fleas' barnet in a week or two.

I think we are going to see some interesting coiffure, male and female, over the coming weeks...

Huh - do not mention haircuts anywhere near this part of Scotland.

Mr. Mhor used to have what he called his "winter haircut" and his "su,,er haircut".

That was many years ago, of course. I managed to persuade him that he needed more than two haircuts a year. Or at least, that I had no intention of remaining with him unless he had more than two haircuts a year.

I may have gone on a sex strike to achieve this outcome

So anyway. We moved to Scotland three years ago and ever since we've lived at Mhor Cottage, the village hairdresser comes every six weeks or so, and we rugby-tackle Mr. Mhor to make him comply.

He is thrilled that she cannot come for twelve weeks now.

I am not at all thrilled about this, needless to say.

Pick your battles, Mustress.

That should say summer haircut, of course.

I had mine done just before we started our twelve week penance. Mr. Mhor declined, on the grounds that he had had a haircut only eight weeks previously.

Where are you all?