The Robbing Butcher - Immortalized At Last

[MhorOrLessTheMustress]

Here continues the tale of the Robbing Butcher, his whimsical opening hours, and TheMustressMhor's daily quest for his finest produce.

link deleted by MNHQ. We're afraid we don't generally allow links to personal blogs on the site

Comrades, do not mention the patio.

Mr. Mhor spilt something on it and there are strange marks on it.

As you know, I was never terribly keen on it, but pretended I was to keep Mr. Mhor happy.
Now, he isn't keen on it either.

A sad waste of money - although it sparked that interesting thread which proved that nobody could do standard maths.

Oh, and he has not given up hope that he will be able to restore it to its former (alleged) glory.

Sainsbury’s delivery arriving at midday today - friends, it will have eggs and paracetamol in it!
Stores are definitely recovering.

Two unexpected missing items though - chocolate and avocados.

But 7Penguins - are you getting eggs from the new hens?

NO CHOCOLATE

How frightful.

I’d settle for any eggs, including pterodactyl. These are not times to be picky!

These are not times to be picky

Well, you would think that, wouldn't you?

Not the Robbing Butcher. He is still going on about the eggs from the new hens.

At this rate they will become old hens before he gets any further new ones.

Mr. Mhor is just cooking some as I write this.

Yum Yum Yum.

(note to self - get personal shopper busy today)

Let us know the dippiness of the eggs, on the scale 1-10.

I’m now thinking of dippy pterodactyl eggs.

A STORY TO GLADDEN YOUR HEARTS

Some of you will have read this on the blog already.

A few days ago I wrote a post on the village FB page, discouraging people from gathering for Mother's Day - or for any reason at all. I exhorted the villagers to self-isolate. I praised the people who had already volunteered to help the elderly with shopping/prescriptions.

I got lots of "likes" on my post, and various comments, all supportive.

Except for one.

Someone had the temerity to write "NO - JUST FUCK OFF"

I peered at the screen in displeasure. I then clicked on the man's name to find out who he was.

It was the Robbing Butcher, of course. Who else?

I had always known what he looked like but hadn't known his name.

As Mr. Mhor said, "Well, we've always known he was a Grade-A cunt."

Egg Dippiness - Friday 27th March

One was 10/10 and one was 7/10.

Mr. Mhor gave me one Co - Op egg and one RB egg.

Fortunately the RB egg was the 10/10 one.

GASP!

Truly, a surprising twist worthy of M N Shyamalan film!

I’m now thinking of dippy pterodactyl eggs

There's a sentence I never thought would be written.

< comes to from sherry-induced stupor Ahem. I mean: wakes up. Hears voices. One says I notice that the Pink Gin still seems to be intact, though

Ooh!
Wonders how to get unobtrusively out from under bed.

Peers out. Sees leather corset.

Uh-oh. Mustress is home >

Ha!

I guessed you would wake up when pink gin was mentioned, LaMa.

Kindly leave the property. Nothing to see here.

Just checking...

You know...

I'll err... just go and look for the pink g...
I mean, leave now then.

(Nice to you see you all and to see you're back in residence, Mustress.
Haven't been MNing much recently and somehow had managed to stop "watching" this thread.
God knows how, because it normally takes ages for the buttons here to respond to "watch" when I want to, let alone "unwatch" when I don't!)

AN INTERESTING TIT-BIT FOR THOSE WHO LIKE MINUTIAE

The Mustress's favourite lipstick is Rimmel 058.

AKA "Drop of Sherry".

For once I am not lying.

In my ceaseless quest for useless information I have started a thread so that I can discover what the correct term for circular square sausage is.

Anyone care to play MN Bingo on this one?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3862880-Important-Question-for-Scots-MNetters?watched=1

Hmmmmmmm.

Nobody has been abusive to me (so far) although one person quibbled about the thread title.

HA HA HA HA HA

I have just been looking at the village FB page.

Someone has posted: "Does anyone know when the butcher's shop is meant to be open?"

The Robbing Butcher's grandson has sent the enquirer a PM.

So it isn't just the Mustress Mhor.

Will the RB learn something from this debacle?

Mustress

Anyone care to play MN Bingo on this one?

Well, you've had "cancel the cheque".
Disappointingly, nobody's asked if you're on glue yet.
With a bit of luck, someone's MiL will apparently call it "oblong sausage" and the wrath of hell will be let loose upon her.

Hilarious that the RB's grandson has PM'd the inquirer instead of just posting the opening hours. To maintain the mystique, perhaps.

fleas as we all know, the RB's opening hours are as mysterious as the shapes of his sausages.

Clearly, the grandson would know if the RB will be open tomorrow.

Or so you would think.

Nobody yet has suggested LTB (on the sausage shape thread) and nobody (yet) has told me to call 101.