Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Hauled in by HR - I was off ill!

183 replies

iwasoffill · 27/02/2020 13:45

NC to keep this annonymous

I work in a small 20 people team. Some are acquaintances. Some are actual friends.

I was off ill last week. My husband took my son to see his grandparents as they were visiting a local seaside town and they stayed overnight. I myself went to my Mum's overnight as my anxiety meant I couldn't stay in the house lone, along with being poorly.

A comment was made by my boss when I came back on Monday when I said I had been in bed all week. Something in the way he said it made me think he doubted it.

HR was here for another issue today and I was hauled in.

My boss said a social media post had been brought to his attention during my sick period and he produced 2 A4 printout's of 2 photos of my son on the beach posted by my DH/MIL. I had been tagged in them.

He asked did I have anything to say about this. I said I had been off ill, at home, then went to my parents overnight when DH and DS were away.

He said that he had to ask me about it because people's perception was that they were covering my work as I was ill hen this was seen.

I reiterated the above and he said he hoped I understood why he had to ask. HR said she understood as her mum will tag her in photos of her daughter when they are out and she's not there.

Thing is, I am livid.

I have removed ALL colleagues from facebook. This includes people that ARE my friends.

I am livid I wasn't asked, by whoever has told work about this, what the deal was and they added 2 and 2 together and got 5.

I have had no apology and am sat here, feeling so fucking angry and looking at my colleagues thinking which cunt did this.

Dunno why I'm posting really. Just angry and upset.

OP posts:
Josette77 · 27/02/2020 14:31

I think if you are this enraged and anxious you need to talk to someone. Do you have a therapist you can call?

Nomorepies · 27/02/2020 14:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 27/02/2020 14:32

You know what OP, HR and your boss have done you a favour. They have asked the question, your answer was satisfactory - you are above reproach.

Whoever brought this to them looks like a vindictive stirrer to them now. It's very unlikely to be someone with anything against you, more likely a jobsworthy type with a misplaced sense of loyalty.

hiddenmnetter · 27/02/2020 14:34

Carry out a Coleen Rooney style investigation. Then mic drop on Facebook. Caution: requires around a years lead time.

Devlesko · 27/02/2020 14:34

I don't see the problem really.
The photo's were seen, your friends and colleagues had to cover your work whilst you were away and someone thought you were lying.
They reported it, you were asked about it, you explained.
Nobody hauled you anywhere, HR were there and you were next on their to do list.
Move on, get on with your work and forget it.

IntermittentParps · 27/02/2020 14:36

I think you should flip it and think how you would feel if a colleague called in sick and appeared to be out at the beach

The key word there is 'appeared'.

The manager wouldn't be doing their job properly if they ignored it
The manager did not do their job properly by, as the OP points out. screenshotting and printing images from Facebook photos of her son and making them potentially available to anyone in the company.

Personally I'd be having a word with HR about that.

Kirkman · 27/02/2020 14:37

Who says the manager screenshot it himself?

The photos we put on facebook, available to the public. They arent private photos.

Op you need to reframe this. Your language is making it seem worse than it is.

You werent hauled in. They asked to speak to and spoke to you privately. You are winding yourself up and making this far more dramatic and emotive than it needs to be

Melroses · 27/02/2020 14:38

I can see how it would create trust issues.

It is wise to prune your facebook friend list and keep it for the actual people you want to share things with, and set privacy levels accordingly. If you have done this, then take a deep breath and move on.

If fb is a thing where you work, then maybe keep a separate work account and put PR photos up.

MrsStrangerThing · 27/02/2020 14:43

I would be hurt too op but you must be bale to see where this misunderstanding came from? I would also find it odd that you were tagged when you weren't there, I haven't come across that before. I personally wouldn't have got involved, but I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to approach you directly about it - why would they? Skiving is an issue for management to deal with, not a colleague.

You mention anxiety in every one of your posts, I think you realise yourself that that is what is to blame for your reaction. Would you consider seeing the GP for a medication review? I really feel for you, sounds like it is causing you a lot of misery Sad

Kirkman · 27/02/2020 14:43

And in a company network now which spans the world and anyone could get into.

It's already on facebook. Which anyone could get into if they wanted to

EvilPea · 27/02/2020 14:46

I can see a raised eyebrow but you weren’t in the pictures which should have put a stop to any of it.

How has it been recorded with hr?

february08baby · 27/02/2020 14:49

I sympathise OP, I had almost exactly the same scenario this week

coconuttelegraph · 27/02/2020 14:50

I can see a raised eyebrow but you weren’t in the pictures which should have put a stop to any of it

Why would that have put a stop to it? It's not compulsory to appear in photos, the most logical assumption is that if someone is tagged in a photo as being at a place with a person they are there whether or not they appear in the photo surely. Unless it was clearly a selfie someone would have been behind the camera too.

Newjez · 27/02/2020 14:53

I keep LinkedIn for work, and Facebook for family and close friends.

The two never mix.

Chickychickydodah · 27/02/2020 14:56

I would log an official,complaint . I got in a similar situation to this and blocked everyone , just did my work after that and didn’t tell anyone of my business. The person that grassed me up did come and say sorry, I told her to go f#ck herself 🤬

Nanny0gg · 27/02/2020 15:02

As a by the by - did they have any right to print photos of the OP's son and where are those photos now?

And OP, did they find those photos by looking at your colleague's FB page or are your settings open?

If it's the first, surely they have even less right to print those pictures?

PointlessAddict · 27/02/2020 15:10

It wouldn’t even cross my mind to tell tale on a colleague in such circumstances. I can’t stand people who do that. If it was someone who was a known pisstaker, I might say to them themselves I’d seen it.

Original poster
iwasoffill · 27/02/2020 15:10

I took the photos from them and shredded them

OP posts:
Magenta83 · 27/02/2020 15:10

I'm obviously in the minority here but just because you are ill doesn't mean you are not allowed to go out. The manager should have taken this information and only acted on it if he already had suspicions or concerns. Either way the issue should be finished with although I would suggest discussing with the manager if they had any concerns with sickness absences in general. And colleagues should definitely not be friends on Facebook!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 27/02/2020 15:10

The behaviour of your colleague is truly shitty, in your place I would be utterly furious as well. It’s for this reason I have never had current work colleagues as “friends” on Facebook. My account is on lock-down to deter snoopers and stalkers

bridgetreilly · 27/02/2020 15:11

It's the issue that someone hasn't even had the guts to ask me, and has ended up with me being hauled in for a bollocking

Because it's not your colleagues' responsibility, it's an HR issue.

You didn't get a bollocking, you were asked about the photos, she understood what had happened.

This is not a big deal.

jumpinjeepers · 27/02/2020 15:13

Yup, that's annoying but the upshot is the person who dobbed you in now looks like an arse, and management will think they're a busybody, two faced at best.
Not everyone in your work place will like you I would imagine, so just let it go.

HackAttack · 27/02/2020 15:21

You were tagged in a photo and also not at home if someone rang the house? I'd have thought you were spinning a yarn too!

february08baby · 27/02/2020 15:25

I doubt management / HR have even told people the result of their meeting with you so people may assume you got a telling off so I'd still be angry if I were you.

Even though I'm currently off sick myself with anxiety, there have been times when I've wondered myself if people were really ill but I'd never say anything as it's not my place nor am I a doctor.

lowlandLucky · 27/02/2020 15:25

Hope you are ok OP