Do you get sad that you aren't young anymore?

[Borkins]

I'm 41 and life in many ways is better for me than 20 years ago. Yet I can't help having spells of overwhelming sadness that I'm not young anymore. It's ridiculous I know and 40s is not old and I get that every year is a privilege not afforded to everyone.

Yet I see that society values youthful looks. At my age you project more of a mature, mum image. Which is what I am of course but I'm also fiesty, passionate, sexual, silly etc

I was fine until after the menopause as I seem to get tired far more easily, I had it at 51. I look at DS and think how enthusiastic he is and how many of the options he has are now closed off to me. For instance I loved climbing trees and did till I was about 40. Now I just think it’s not worth risking breaking a limb. I still have some amazing photos from when I was young as I did modelling, I had total body confidence when young. I’m in physically great shape for my age but have MH issues unfortunately.

I’m mid 40s and generally happy as the age I am, with the odd wobble. Two friends have retired recently - they’re older than me, but that still made me feel v old!

Losing my looks isn’t a big issue for me, I was always fairly average looking. I do start to feel some doors closing to me career wise.

My parents are in their late 70s / early 80s and seem to be very happy and enjoying life, so hopefully there’s still lots of good stuff ahead!

The sadness I feel is that I won’t see my yet to be born grandchildren grow up
I love my family dearly . I want to be here for a very long time.
It’s health that bothers me now.

That should read great grandchildren

Not terribly sad no. Beauty and me shouldn’t be in the same sentence so fading looks are not an issue!

I’m healthy and happy enough so not sad in that respect either.

I still feel about 19 (I’m in my 50s) and so there are so mornings I give myself a ruddy bloody big fright when I catch my reflection in the mirror if I’m half asleep.

I’m 39. I remember in my early 20s when building my career when I had just moved to London living in a house share and was constantly skint I used to dream of being in the position I am now- financially stable, own my dream house, beautiful children and well regarded within my field career wise. I’m grateful for all of it but I would go back to my 20s in a heartbeat- I miss the freedom so much. If I couldn’t be bothered to cook I could live off soup or beans and toast for a few days without neglecting 4 children, if I fancied going for a weekend away I could do so at the drop of a hat, and I miss going out partying! It’s not really my appearance that I miss as I think I’ve accepted ageing in that respect, but I definitely miss the freedom I had.

I suspect though in 20 years time when my children have all grown up and moved out I’ll miss this stage of my life as well.

I'm only in my 30s and don't feel old, in fact I was taken aback when not long ago, a young woman in her early twenties I was chatting to implied I was from a different generation to her!
I do sometimes feel sad I am no longer in my early 20s though, I was so carefree and had no one to look after except myself. Now, with children, a partner and a mortgage, life is so much more complex and exhausting. I wish I had the time and inclination to spend a whole afternoon in bed, having sex and chatting, like I used to. What's sad is that I feel so bogged down by life in general that I wouldn't enjoy it much even if I got the chance.

I don't feel sad about looks, but a bit daunted that half my life is definitely over (if I'm lucky!). Aaaargghhh!

No not really.

I'm more content as an older person.

I didn’t appreciate my looks when I was younger. I believed the school bullies who said I was ugly. Looking at photos now, I realise I was far from ugly. This realisation only comes now I’m 1.5 stone heavier and going grey and wrinkly!
When I was younger I was destined for great things... none of which came to pass (partly due to having dc, partly due to depression limiting me). It makes me sad sometimes to think I won’t fulfill my potential. I measure my worth on a much smaller scale now: lives I’ve touched, people I’ve made a difference to.

I'm nearly 65. I often wonder how long I've got left! I think I'm ageing pretty well looks wise, but I've found I sieze up very quickly when I sit down. I'm quite happy being where I am now, but I miss the ability to do physical things without a thought, and being strong and lithe. Two hours of gardening makes everything ache these days. Even in my 40s I could spend a whole day doing physical things with no repurcussions. It was wonderful to be young and fit.
Tbh, seeing the way the world is going, I am sometimes glad I will probably be dead within 20 years.

Oh. I feel sad that I can’t get myself off the floor easily without a scrabble of hands and arms or holding onto something.

Only happened in the last 6 months or so. It is a ruddy nuisance!

Only when I look in the mirror

It's not losing my looks it's gaining health problems that I don't like.

But I still do the same things-they just take longer

I have more confidence, am more decisive & don't try to people please!

At 41, I don't feel old, and although my current circumstances are not as I would wish them, I am generally optimistic. However it's a different sort of optimism to the hope I had in my 20s (although that was a decade that flitted between joy, drama, and despair) - it would be inaccurate to say that the same possibilities exist for me now, that there were then.

One thing I often see on MN though, is women saying their 40s started tremendously, but that they felt a significant change around 45 onwards - that they suddenly looked and felt older. I feel like I should be making the most of the early 40s, or I'll probably look back in 10 years and feel that I squandered this time. The next few years feel like a window before the next set of changes

Only when I go to a uni visit with dcs...I get so excited thinking about how smart it all is compared to the 80s!

I don't really want to be young again, unless I was still guaranteed to end up with dh.

Yes, I do feel sad. I'm in my early 40s, and it's been hard recently - - mostly because I'm so exhausted with work and a toddler but also because I've had six years of various physical maternity related health issues.

So I took the big step of booking a personal trainer to get back on track; otherwise, I realised I was looking at serious back problems in ten years.

And it's brought it home to me just what a state I'm in. I'm very unfit, I'm overweight, I'm knackered, my hair is greying badly, I don't eat properly...

But I feel the most gutted about the fact that I never really enjoyed my twenties and thirties when I was slim and healthy. I should have been out there doing the activities I loved, going the places I wanted to go. For example, I'd love to have become a good speed skater and done something like the vikingr race. But I don't think it's viable now.

All those years of youth wasted in angst and the careful navigation of social and cultural attitudes. I see it today with young women. All that time they will spend applying tan and contouring... I wonder how many will get to my age and wish they'd spent that time cycling or learning a foreign language.

Yes. I'm 45. I still feel young inside (late 20's) but then flinch when I realise that those people in their 20's don't identify with me in the slightest.

My daughter's coach is 23, lovely guy. I see him as a good friend. Only the other day I was suggesting a lovely girl for him who'd make a great girlfriend. She's 29. He literally was like, ugh no that's far too old - without any irony for the fact I was sat next to him at nearly 46!

He then realised and started to backtrack massively saying I looked younger, he thought of me as the same age blah blah but damage done!

The one thing you can't change is your age.

This is the benefit of never really having been one of the good looking ones. I'm 39 now and will be 40 this year. I don't miss being young and good-looking because I never really was, so now I feel pretty good to be honest because I've got to that age where I don't really care what people think of me and it feels liberating.

I don't really want to be young again, unless I was still guaranteed to end up with dh.

Ahhhhhhhh @IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying that's so lovely!

Agree with uni visits making everything seem so exciting!

No but I’m sometimes sad when I realise I had so little support from my dm, that would have eased the teenage years.

I am happier, more confident, healthier & fitter now than I’ve ever been. It’s quite a relief.

No, I'm mid 60s and perfectly content - I'm much happier than when I was young, but don't have regrets as in general I've had a good life. Was never beautiful, can live with my appearance now!

I feel privileged to have reached mid forties! I have a friend who is just 30, thinking of starting a family, and I just feel so excited for them, and maybe just a bit protective of them? Like an auntie or a mum? I love it though, people ask me, ME (!) for advice. I don't feel invisible, and I try to dress pretty cool for my age, keep my hairstyle up to date.

Not at all im 63 now I was a young mom so im now a young nan and great grandmother relatively speaking, and doing all the things I should have done when I was young, we go to live big band gigs, go out on our motorbike every weekend if the weather is good, go to motorbike rallies, go abroad on holiday, im lucky my health is good , and im still working

But I don't like the aches and pains that come with old age. My hips and lower back can get quite painful when I'm out for a long ish walk and I had to use a walking stick. I'm only 35.

That is worrying, I'm 20 years older and really don't feel like that