If you have physically well parents of 70+ how do they pass time?

[phivephatphish]

My DM is in her 70s. Very fit, walks the dog 2miles a day, keeps her own 1/2 acre garden in check, goes to 2 exercise classes a week, is in a knitting group, active in the local church, does some childcare, catches up with friends. We are staying with the in laws this week. Same age, both healthy. FIL sits in front of the computer reading nonsense all day. MIL incessantly cleans her already clean house. In the 10 years I’ve known them I’ve never met or heard of a friend. They live too far away to do childcare (and we wouldn’t let them anyway). They have no hobbies, no activities they do, no groups they are in. They aren’t constrained by finance. It feels like a prison sentence by choice. I’ve made many suggestions over the years to no avail. I can’t understand anyone choosing to live like this.

Fortunately or unfortunately it’s their choice how they fill their days we are all different. My parents were more similar to your IL’s than your parents. My mum cleaned a lot and dad read the paper, looked after his car, ate healthy, went for timed walks at a pace (purely to keep fit) and was obsessed with having his meals on time, shaving and having a bath at particular times etc. Both of them had little social interaction and little or no conversation. I tried finding out about various groups/activities/places to go they might like, suggested they contact various family members/Ex work friends or neighbours and invited them to ours, on days out and suggested we go out for a meal for one of our birthdays, their birthdays their wedding anniversary etc (but everything was knocked back).
Now fast forward 5-7 years and my father has dementia and is housebound and can’t be left on his own and my mum is looking after him and she has lost her confidence to go out. It’s all very sad.

It's lovely that so many posters are proud of their parents, but yep, this thread makes me a bit sad for the people who actually enjoy a quiet life.

My MIL is probably one of the most wonderful people I've ever known. But her joy was in her family, and she really didn't need anything much more in her life to be happy. Outside of her 'kids' and her grandchildren (who she adored) she loved crosswords, jigsaws and daytime TV, and her daily walk to the market.
And she wasn't a lesser person for not being a joiner of things.

(I used 'was' for most of that, because she is in the last stages of Alzheimers and is only a shell of herself now)

saraclara it’s fine if they are happy but the impression I got from the OP is that the MIL isn’t particularly happy.

Other issues that can arise is if they are happy as a couple to live a very quiet life but then when one dies they want other family members to fill the void as they suddenly become very lonely.

Also on many threads you hear about the DM or MIL who need to spend all their time with the grandchildren as they have nothing else to keep them occupied.

Holidays every 3-4 weeks, as far as I can tell. Plus my Mum really, really likes to spend money, so she goes to town most days looking for things to buy. And a constant round of extremely expensive and largely unnecessary home improvements. If I sound bitter it’s because I am. It used to be funny, but it’s verging on the grotesque now when you think about the number of young families using food banks and then the five year old kitchens disappearing into landfill.

Mine have joined the u3a, they're never in , going bridge, bowls, classes etc.

My mum power walks for 30 min a day, mucks out horses, does childcare and voluntary work. She’s also in various clubs and societies (she’s rarely in the house)

MIL likes to read the daily mail, quote from the daily mail and tell me intricate details about the lives of people I’ll never meet

FIL seems to sleep for most of the day, I often wonder if he’s a cat

Gardening
Walking
Looking after grandchildren
Having friends over

@autumnboys, tell me more about volunteering abroad in retirement?

This has been an interesting thread. Very middle class pastimes (nothing wrong with that).

Is anyone's dad chair of the local pigeon fanciers club, enjoys a pint at the Working Men's Social whilst mum plays bingo and loves karaoke?

Volunteering in a prison - Independent Monitoring Board.

Is anyone's dad chair of the local pigeon fanciers club. My grandad, sadly long since departed, was.

Many happy childhood days of race days at his house waiting for the pigeons to come home. He was quite a legend in the pigeon world in his day.

My parents are mid 70's and have a great life in Spain. Lots of social activities. Friends, gardening, regular trips away

Gardening, reading, pilates, cinema, travel, visiting family and friends, volunteers in the courts in witness care, swims, long walks with friends and dogs

I’ll pick aunt and uncle as dad died at 64 and mum had awful smoking related issues past 70.
Uncle walks dog, goes to pub occasionally, travels with adventurous aunt, socialises regularly with their mutual friends.

Aunt as above minus was liking the dog, but also goes to weekly art classes, loves travel and had lots of friends and a social time of it.

They are 82 and 79 now.

Goes walking, swimming, aerobics, coffee or lunch with friends, shopping, day trips on the bus, loads of holidays!

My DM is 70.

Every week:

She swims (approx 60 lengths) or walks for a couple of hours with 2 friends & has lunch with them.

Pilates

Looks after her great granddaughter (3yrs) for the day while Mum is at college.

Takes my DDad out 2 - 3 times a week (he's got a lot of health problems & now disabled but likes to go out for lunch etc, he rests the other days).

Also often goes to the cinema, hosts a curry night etc.

She also has 2 allotment plots & grows loads of fruit & veg. My DDad helps a bit with these.

She also helps run my DC around to extra-curricular activities when DH is on an awkward shift at work.

She also knits & makes things to sell at a craft fair every year. She enjoys the crafts so is only interested in breaking even/small profit but is very talented.

She paints & volunteers with an ex-battery hens charity.

DF is still DF to an 18yo and a dog, DM galavants all over the place shopping and visiting friends.

Church activities
Hobbies
Holidays
Seeing friends
Going out for the day
Spending time together