If you have physically well parents of 70+ how do they pass time?

[phivephatphish]

My DM is in her 70s. Very fit, walks the dog 2miles a day, keeps her own 1/2 acre garden in check, goes to 2 exercise classes a week, is in a knitting group, active in the local church, does some childcare, catches up with friends. We are staying with the in laws this week. Same age, both healthy. FIL sits in front of the computer reading nonsense all day. MIL incessantly cleans her already clean house. In the 10 years I’ve known them I’ve never met or heard of a friend. They live too far away to do childcare (and we wouldn’t let them anyway). They have no hobbies, no activities they do, no groups they are in. They aren’t constrained by finance. It feels like a prison sentence by choice. I’ve made many suggestions over the years to no avail. I can’t understand anyone choosing to live like this.

My parents and PILs are all in their late 70s / early 80s.

Parents - members of a book group, walking, swimming, play cards with friends, active members of the Labour Party, patient participation group at their local GP surgery

PILs - play in a brass band, play the organ at church, rotary, FIL rides a motorbike (!), cycling, school governor until recently

Can I contribute about myself on here?
I am 75 and a mother grandmother and great grandmother.
I keep myself extremely active have always done so. Unwilling to say anymore as it is sure to '' out'' me.
I never consider myself elderly, or aged.I only hope when the Lord calls me I will be missed by my family.

Everyone's parents seem so active.

My parents enjoy doing the crossword.

Actually, my Mum goes to the local leisure centre for a few classes every week. Specifically for retired folk.

My Dad has waited all of his working life for some peace and quiet. He's loving being retired.

Bridge and travelling, a lot of cruises. They also go to a seniors exercise class when they are home, DF cycles. Childminding, lots of boozy dinner parties. They enjoy life.

They play bridge, go to church and walks together. At the moment they are on holiday in India.

Separately my dad plays chess in a club and at home on his own (he's played almost all his life) and does the gardening.
Mum goes to a couple of keep fit classes, golf (though they sometimes play together) and housework.

If they're free they visit me/grandchildren once a week.

If your in-laws are happy doing what they're doing/not doing that's all that matters.

My Father has his allotment (and garden). He is on the committee of the allotment as well.
My mother goes to language classes, and meets up with some of her classmates to chat in the language.
They also enjoy holidays (currently on a Caribbean cruise... I'm not jealous, honestly...)

MIL and PIL go for a long walk day, potter around the house, ring at odd times offering to come and see grandchildren or take them for the weekend (although with Saturday clubs, they often base themselves at ours now, it's not worth the drive for 24hrs). FIL also plays Bowls.

My Grandmother died in her early 80s. She was active until the day of her stroke, from which she never woke. She was on Church committees, ran a coffee morning and played Bowls at quite a high level. Her final sports results appeared in the same edition of the local newspaper as her obituary. She was a widow for over 20 years, but never let it get her down (although she felt great sadness for never getting the retirement they planned together).

I see a less extreme difference between my parents and in laws too. My in laws are doing retirement right in my opinion! Both are only just 70.

FIL: cycling club, volunteers for RSVP, on committee at sailing club
MIL: golf club, walking group, writes her own music, open mic nights, choir
They also go on lovely exotic holidays at least twice a year and spend their downtime doing things they actually enjoy like reading, playing guitar etc.

DM: art class, yoga class, bridge
DF: sailing once per week, bridge
So my parents do some stuff but it’s more how they spend their spare time at home - DF especially just spends his WHOLE time doing chores (DIY and financial planning) to a way higher standard than required and then falls asleep in front of the tv in the evening. DM is a bit better but still spends ages doing admin and I do feel they’re both going to look back in a few years when they’re less physically well and wonder why they didn’t make the most of these golden years between retirement and ill health.

My father still works full time on the family farm at 76 .He maintains that’s what keeps him fit and healthy . My mum is a few years younger but isn’t in good health.

My PIL do nothing! They don’t even watch TV
They smoke, drink tea, read, do crosswords, listen to the radio.
In different rooms/floors though, not together.

DM (81) drives, enjoys visiting the theatre (amateur dramatics and professional shows), cinema, some light gardening, traveling with her pals, eating out, going on holidays with her friends. Regularly travels long haul to visit my DSIS solo.

My parents never stop, they're in the U3A. My mum does Tai Chi and plats Bridge, my dad goes to computer classes and is on the committee, he also plays bowls. They also gave loads of friends and go on trips and are out socialising several times a week, they do wine tasting classes too.

They have no idea how they used to fit work in!

My DDad has hobbies of sailing and skiing, he'll meet up with friends every week and I know he likes to keep the house maintained. I'm not sure what he does on days where he has nothing on though. DMum is a fair bit younger so still works part time. My only remaining grandparent is still fairly active for her age and takes long holidays and visits family mainly. Also has a dog to keep her active.

My mum is a widow in her 70s. She’s incredibly busy - she volunteers, U3A, WEA, book group, gardening group, art club, life drawing classes. There’s something in her calendar most week days, and a fair few weekends too. It’s tricky squeezing in time for the grandchildren!

My Dad watches tv and spends a lot of time on Facebook. I’d say that’s fine if he’s happy, but he wants to know the ins and outs of what I’m doing all the time and his only opinions on things seem to come from the internet these days. So I’m not sure it’s particularly healthy mentally or physically for him.

Golf- both my parents and their spouses play golf. Mum is treasurer of the ladies’ golf group, step-dad plays when they have a mixed game. Dad and step-mum play a lot and go on golf themed holidays.
DDad and DSM have a dog and meet friends for sociable walks, DSM plays ma jong DDad gardens, watches golf on TV.
DM and DSDad travel (we share a holiday home in France), garden, do jigsaws and read. Recently, they were both less physically active due to separate health issues so we introduced them to Netflix- Peaky Blinders and The Crown kept them busy for hours!

DM in her 70's does choir, is a school governor, loads of gardening, some childcare for me, always out at dinners or lunches, knitting and sewing, regular catch ups with me and my brother/grandchildren.

DF in his 80's does two art clubs a week, runs their regular exhibitions/sales and is their treasurer. Lots of gardening and art too, plus all the aforementioned trips out with mum.

They definitely have a better social life than me!

I don’t like this thread. It’s judgy. It’s not for you to decide what your FIL reads on the internet is nonsense, and housework is excellent exercise.

This reads like the smug privileged middle classes enjoying being sniffy about people with different cultural norms.

DM - walls her dogs, tour guide at local cathedral, works on fundraising plavtbsame/Christmas fair in her village, has lunch’s/cinema/theatre with other widow friends., goes to visit me, DSis and DBro (none of us live locally, all several hours travel away),goes on bonkers holidays with her brother (animal sanctuary in Belize, yoga retreat in Goa) , does some voluntary work with recovering addicts.

MiL - WI, a lot

FiL - Watches TV, goes to cricket matches in the summer

I can't keep up with my 79 year old mother.

She's up at 5am to have an early breakfast and reflection time.

She mucks out her horses at 6am

At 7 she starts her housework

At 8.30 she heads off to various activities that vary according to the day of the week.

She's back home at lunchtime to sort out stable matters and have lunch.

She has an hour with her feet up as she doesn't feel as young nowadays!!

Then she does gardening and tending vegetables until 5, when she's back over to feed the horses.

At 6 she starts making supper for my father.

She's in bed by 7.30.

I've tried, I can't keep up!

Mum volunteers for Samaritans and is in charge of training at her branch. My stepdad does lots of gardening, long walks and music stuff. They go away a lot, on holidays and visiting people. MIL swims, spends an lot of time caring for other family members and goes out with friends, usually pottering around nice gardens and pretty little towns. FIL has health problems now, but until a couple of years ago did a lot of heavy-duty DIY and gardening. They're all actively involved with the church.

This thread both upsets and inspires me. My parents don’t have good health, and one hasn’t had for decades. They are v limited in what they could do and somewhat isolated.

I have other family members who are well. Including one who is living overseas as an “illegal alien” at 95, with her boyfriend!

My DM79 teaches piano to children a few times a week/does yoga through the night (sleeps a lot during the day)/and we have a coffee/lunch around 5 times a week...

DF89 (passed away a few weeks ago after a short illness) he ironed / cooked/fixed everything/changed lightbulbs and pottered around and kept very busy all the time... And also snoozed a lot during the day... they never really saw other people and didn't have 'couple' friends - it was always about me and the 3 DC's

I have a mate whose mother cleans the house till noon, has lunch, then opens up a bottle of wine and watches Loose Women. That's her day done.

My parents are PIL are all mid 70s. My parents travel about 3-5 times a year, they live in the Caribbean in the winter and also visit us in Australia once a year, plus have a European holiday and some weekends away in the U.K.

They also run a local car enthusiasts club and do loads of activities with them (charity events where they loan the cars etc, visits etc). They also like gardening and will go for days out, out to local villages for morning teas or lunches etc.

My PIL are also active - my MIL does a keep fit class nearly every day, she also volunteers in a charity shop, she does church work and visits friends. My FIL likes DIY and is always tinkering with the house and garden, also gets dragged along to keep fit and catches up with friends. They see grandchildren and would love to see them more but we all live quite far away.

They are all very mentally and physically switched on and are all a real inspiration to me.

DPs are both 74. I've just dropped them off at the airport after a visit (I live overseas now). In four weeks they are off on their next jaunt, to St Lucia.

DM has a crumbling spine and COPD, so mostly reads and does the cryptic crossword. She does most of the cooking and some housework.

DF is a retired engineer and can do pretty much anything around the house and garden. He still has a motorbike, wins national competitions for rifle shooting (targets only), has turned the garage into a workshop. He does the food shopping, errands and housework that mum can't manage. They see friends together sometimes, but many have passed away already so their social life has dwindled a great deal in the last ten years.

DH and I are in our 50s. When we are in our 70s we want to be still very active, taking short breaks and holidays, still exercising.