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Original poster

Caroline Flack found dead

999 replies

LittleScottish · 15/02/2020 17:39

Poor, poor woman...

OP posts:
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6
todayisnottuesday · 16/02/2020 23:00

And yet you excuse the terrible things being written about the ex boyfriend because he's still alive and can defend himself? So it doesn't matter to you that the things being written about him are likely to cause him terrible pain?

I haven't excused anything being said about him, I also think that is wrong.

You are not basing basing your argument on any facts. Something that you are happy to call others out on.

My arguments are based on one fact - the fact that none of us know what happened and whether she was guilty. That is a fact.

As I have said throughout, I'm not presenting my theories of what could have happened as fact, I am offering them as possible alternative explanations for what happened, in an attempt to try and convince those labelling her an abuser to be a bit more cautious in that assumption because we do not know for definite that it is true. To illustrate that things are not always as black and white as some would like to think.

I don't know if she was abusive, none of us do. Fact.

SpokeTooSoon · 16/02/2020 23:12

All the pious celebs whining about the mean things written on social media. Why don’t they all get off social media? I’m not excusing trolling. But if I were a celebrity receiving daily hate messages, I’d delete my account.

They don’t do it because they are vain, self-regarding and completely obsessed with the sound of their own voice/tweets. They live for the praise and the opportunity to show off. Social media feeds that desire. Thousands of people “liking” stupid narcissistic videos of them preening and posing and showing off their taut stomachs and glitzy parties.

Don’t kid me it’s an excellent means of connecting with people. It’s an excellent means of showing off. So many of them seem happy to take the hateful messages on the chin in exchange for the fawning and adoration.

I find that baffling.

NerrSnerr · 16/02/2020 23:13

I don't think anyone can deny that there is a lot of work and awareness to be raised about domestic assault. I think many of the people trying to do that on this thread are doing it to the detriment of the victim. If he wants what happened to him to be used to help others than let him decide to do that, hopefully after he has had counselling to come to terms with what has to be the worst time of his life. The likelihood is that he doesn't want what happened to him played out in public with so called 'experts' dissecting every shred of evidence and as it is his real life that should be respected. He is the important one in this and his wishes and privacy should be respected. This isn't a Netflix drama.

todayisnottuesday · 16/02/2020 23:14

So you believe innocent until.proven guilty but only for the dead. You can accuse those alive of anything, no matter if true or not, because they are alive to defend themselves? That's your argument?

No. I said that I didn't feel compelled to argue the same point on any threads about Michael Barrymore/ Epstein?/ Whoever . I felt strongly about this case because both suicide and DV are close to my heart. I don't agree with the defamation of anyone, or jury by media/ the public etc. However, I find it particularly distasteful and morally wrong when it is directed at someone who died in the most awful way just the day before. If any of the others mentioned had died before a trial that found them guilty, I would (and do) still think it wrong for people to say they were 100% guilty of their crime as I would only have heard the allegation, not the defence.

GoldenMarigolds · 16/02/2020 23:17

May she rest in peace.

The reality is that this will all be forgotten tomorrow. That is reality.

todayisnottuesday · 16/02/2020 23:20

I don't think anyone can deny that there is a lot of work and awareness to be raised about domestic assault.

I agree. I'm just not sure it's appropriate to use the case of a young woman who recently killed herself, a case we do not know all the facts of, as a platform for that.

todayisnottuesday · 16/02/2020 23:24

The mental.gymnastics required to sustain such views are amazing

Personally, it's some people's apparent lack of ability to perform any sort of 'mental gymnastics' that I find amazing.

todayisnottuesday · 16/02/2020 23:37

Reports are saying that he defended her as he knew she needed urgent MH assessment and treatment rather than arrest. That she had serious injuries that she had caused to herself. Surely someone has to be in severe MH crisis to do that to themselves? It is not the act of a mentally well person who is thinking rationally, and if true, then this should not have been treated as a DV case IMHO. And she should have been hospitalised not detained.

TheMaskedTulip · 17/02/2020 01:14

Can we just grasp a bit of reality back into this thread. Obviously it’s very tragic when someone decides to take their life. But equally it’s just as tragic when domestic advise is tried to be swept under the carpet. Clearly the CPS have clear and evident information to press charges when someone alleges domestic violence against them. Namely her ex and previous ex have. There is clearly a case to answer and no amount of wishy washy words can change that fact. If there were then you’d simply be advocating domestic violence.

SirChing · 17/02/2020 01:26

For God's sake people, please please can you stop with all the speculation about her court case. None of us know why Caroline took her life, but if it WAS due to people discussing her case all across social media, how is doing that EXACT same thing here, showing any respect to her or her family.

Come on, this is just gossip for us. Its very real for those involved. Give it a rest now eh?

HeIenaDove · 17/02/2020 01:27

A lot of comments on the Schofield threads have been about the suspected toxic culture at ITV, ( a culture which has been discussed on here previously when it came to Loose Women and Kim Woodburn) and concern for the hurt his wife may be going through.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 17/02/2020 07:10

And a lot have been pure speculation about relationships that he is rumoured to have had. So many people have been very happy to accuse him of all sorts, on those threads, with no care for if it is true or not. Yet I've not seen many posters on those threads cautioning restraint as nothing is proven.

As I have said throughout, I'm not presenting my theories of what could have happened as fact, I am offering them as possible alternative explanations for what happened,

So if someone started a thread on here stating that they had been assaulted by their partner would you go.on and start providing alternative theories as to what might have happened?

As for people saying her ex boyfriend won't want this played out like this - I agree, I don't suppose he does. But I also doubt that he wants to read all of the posts on social media about how it's his fault, he shouldn't have dialled 999 that night etc either. That's what I find so wrong in all of this - the messages being posted about her completely ignore whatever else was going on. They turn her into a saint who could do no wrong. What message does that send out to other victims of DV? Don't report it because if your abuser themselves you will be blamed? Don't say anything because everyone will say there's 2 sides to everything, maybe it's your fault in some way, they're such a nice person that everyone will ignore this and blame you instead?

This just really does not sit right with me. I agree that the level of press intrusion isn't right and I agree that people should speak out about it but at the same time people should be speaking out at the vitriol a Nd hateful posts being written about her ex boyfriend too.

The threads that are being written on MN about her just would not have been written had it been a man in exactly the same circumstances. People would not have been sympathetic to him not have looked for alternative theories as to what might have happened.

I agree entirely with TheMaskedTulip post above.

userxx · 17/02/2020 07:19

@SirChing Absolutely agree 😞

NerrSnerr · 17/02/2020 07:37

As for people saying her ex boyfriend won't want this played out like this - I agree, I don't suppose he does

But you'll still carry on because being right in a debate is more important than a grieving man's feelings?

Verily1 · 17/02/2020 08:04

The threads that are being written on MN about her just would not have been written had it been a man in exactly the same circumstances

I disagree- in most DV cases (male to female) it’s not the perpetrator’s blood all over the sheets. It was in no way a typical DV incident.

TheMaskedTulip · 17/02/2020 08:14

Stop with this silly persistent speculation. I’ll hedge my money on the CPS knowing more about the case against her than you. There is clearly a case to answer for. To deny that is to advocate DV.

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 08:14

I disagree- in most DV cases (male to female) it’s not the perpetrator’s blood all over the sheets

Please don't do this, it's very irresponsible.it was not just her blood on the sheets.

If it had just been her blood there would have been no case.

Caroline was very unwell sadly. We are unaware what help was offered to her, but changing the facts that there was an alleged assault, or arguing that the cps should not prosecute when they have the evidence of one, does not help the victims of assault.

There should be more focus on mental health, on depression, and the impacts. But unless deemed unfit to stand trial, people who are suspected of committing a crime need to face due legal process.

LoveNote · 17/02/2020 08:16

Love island is back tonight

No doubt the viewing figures will be up too.

One of my dd friends was in Love Island in 2016 and has made a good living from it so o wish the other contestants well too

bobstersmum · 17/02/2020 08:19

Can't believe @mnhq are letting these threads run on with so much speculation, very disrespectful tbh.

ShatnersWig · 17/02/2020 08:22

bobsters This is mild. I've seen threads and posts left standing where people have said "I don't care what the verdict was, X is guilty and nothing will ever change my mind". Men labelled as paedophiles even when charges haven't even been brought.

And actually, I think this thread is perfectly valid for discussion. There are some serious implications involved which could potentially affect others who are in toxic relationships, or with the behaviour of the media, or the CPS, or social media or the way celebs lead their lives.

AuntieCedent · 17/02/2020 08:25

Most of what has been said is not speculation. The 999 call and court transcripts exist. In the call, he was the one who reported that she was attacking him and had cut his head open. She could be heard on the call. She has to be restrained. Other exes have spoke of her "toxic"behaviour. One ex would share the number of an abuse hotline on his SM.

Her behaviour was normalised by people like on this thread for so long she didn't realise it was wrong. Then when she was finally held to account for it, it came as huge shock to her that everyone would know for sure how she behaves to her (always much younger) partners. If only her family or friends had condemned her abusive behaviour and forced her to get help much earlier, this would not have happened.

Instead, they encouraged and celebrated her chasing of boys and young men. Several toxic relationships one after the other.

When someone never has an age appropriate partner, it is usually because people their age won't put up with their antics.

LoveNote · 17/02/2020 08:30

@auntiecedant a sensible post, one of few

TheMaskedTulip · 17/02/2020 08:33

This thread is valid and should remain open. It’s implications towards DV victims are too serious to ignore. The fact that many on here want to shut down this scrutiny says more about them and their dismissive attitude towards female DV perpetrators.

bobstersmum · 17/02/2020 08:40

I just wouldn't want to be one of her family reading these threads. It's none of our business what happened so what right do we have to discuss it?

NerrSnerr · 17/02/2020 08:43

What about her boyfriend @TheMaskedTulip what if he doesn't want the last few months of his life discussed and debated, especially only hours after she has died. Or are his feelings not important in this?

I'll be honest, I haven't seen many posts on here or twitter calling him an abuser or much negative about him at all, and of course they are wrong and absolutely should be taken down. It doesn't mean all the so called 'experts' on here should pick apart everything that has happened and not give any fucks as to whether that's hurting her boyfriend or family.