The Robbing Butcher - Bemused by the Patio at FrogMhor Cottage

[TheMustressMhor]

What next for the Robbing Butcher?

Will he wander past Mhor Cottage several times a day so that he can keep an eye on the progress of the patio?

Will Mr. Mhor's measurements turn out to be wrong? And will Mustress Mhor and her DH have too many SLABS as a result?

If they do, what will they do with them?

Will the eggs be dippy tomorrow?

Sign up below if you are interested in the answers to these pivotal questions.

Okay - you are correct - but I did not comment. I was not asked to comment, either.

I was asked for my email address, which you seem to have.

NB - I am also a Techno-Fuckwit.

Anyway - yes - I am regretting agreeing to purchase the slate chippings. The post woman delivered the first bag this morning and nearly required hospital treatment, the bag was so heavy.

However, it has only covered a tiny area.

The chippings are going to end up costing more than the slabs at this rate.

QUESTION FOR ANY LAWYERS ON THIS THREAD

Is under-costing a patio reasonable cause for divorce proceedings?

ooh no it wasnt you mustress it was someone else! woohoo, 2 followers now, I am going to be an Influencer!

Slate chippings/bags of stones are good at filling in gaps though. Maybe look on it as an aesthetic investment?

And also keeps weeds down, or if they do come up you can zap them with a gas gun. Terrifies the crap out of Mr. Yolo when I do this, but is very satisfying all the same.

Me too!

Bum....i’ve subscribed too yolo

Oh, I see.

You mean my alleged eloquence as evidenced by this thread, yolofish.

Right.

Up your game, my girl. I cannot have my name associated with anything poor quality, and that includes blogs and square sausages.

Technofuckwit2 here 😳☹️
I have a new, smarter-than-the-last-one phone. Which has refused to install all my WhatsApp messages.
8 attempts later I am now locked out of sodding WhatsApp for 24 hours.
Buggeration.

well OBVS mustress your eloquence from this thread! Thank you strawberry is it you with the pretty name then?

yolo I am getting mightily confused now.

Surely you haven't got two subscribers to your blog with an email address which makes you think instantly of themustress?

It seems unlikely....

Thank you strawberry is it you with the pretty name then?

FFS yolofish.

Are you safe to be let loose in charge of a blog?

You seem to have no idea who your valued subscribers are.

Or maybe being a Techno-Fuckwit is a sine qua non for being a subscriber to your blog?

We need to be told. Only high-quality subscribers permitted.

I am considering driving to the next village to purchase their own Robbing Butcher's square sausage, as a protest.

That will take a good hour out of my day and I will have to travel thirty miles in total.

Is it worth it, just for square sausage? The next village's Robbing Butcher may also know about this thread. He might also sell me poor-quality square sausage.

All life is a gamble, really.

mustress could you not search out high quality square sausage on t'internet ? Just a thought, given the cold and dark frozen wastes of the North...

I've got 3 subcribers now. Or maybe 4. They can only be through MN as I have failed so far to share my Big Sussex House to the world. OTH, as I got pissed at lunchtime, this is not a surprise. Off to the work in progress.

2 followers now, I am going to be an Influencer!

You better not drop us like old chutney when you make it!

Loft is sorted, fab job, very reasonably priced too.

Just reading that back my wording is rather lacking in eloquence... I mean when you make it to the A-list, don’t drop us, like you would discard old chutney (I personally don’t throw away food just because it’s lost freshness but some do)

I personally don’t throw away food just because it’s lost freshness but some do

Indeed.

As MN threads passim attest painfully.

My DC are very suspicious of the contents of my fridge. They abide by the eat and sell by dates, the utter wooses. No doubt like our own dear queen, I am tempted to think "what did I raise?"

Mine isn’t even environmental so can’t virtue signal.
I was mostly raised by my grandmother who lived through wars and had many elder brothers, so even by scarcity standards she was the last to be served and often went without. So I can’t throw away food, her stories are part of me now.

Nah I bloody love you lot!

Re out of date food: on my hen night I horrified half the guests by saying that I would remove out of date cheese from the bin and cut the mouldy bits off before cooking with it. (The other half all said they did the same).

In my defence: we were poor. No one died, and to my knowledge no one has ever been ill as a result of my/our cooking.

I once earned a round of applause at a dinner party when I cut into a home made dessert, it hadn't set and I chucked it into the bin. We had ice cream instead.

You've got three now then, Yolo because I'm on board, too.

Can I say - I'm very excited at being a follower Yolo, as I've never followed a blog before, and indeed, barely knew what one was.

You have popped my blog cherry - be gentle with me.

Oo a blog! I don't think I know how to follow blogs, my general techability is better than my socialmeejatechability. I will check.

I am also a product of a father wot was brung up in The War and who therefore indulged in many faint-worthy practices (to the snowflakes of this era), such as nipping mould bits off bread, cutting mould off cheese, spooning mould off the top of jam (this last is actually a bit risky but I didn't die growing up so I still do it now), washing bacon that had gone a bit green (I don't do this, to be fair, but then bacon doesn't seem to go green in the same way - changes in curing techniques or extra additives or summat) and so on.

I do try not to waste food but sometimes it still happens, with veg and stuff in the fridge. The husband hangs for the 3 weeks of the year that I take the Thumblets back to the UK with me - the fridge is pretty much emptied while we're gone, and was once in fact so empty when we returned that there has been nothing to feed us poor jet-lagged buggers on! This was heavily Frowned Upon and hasn't happened again so far.

I'm staggered that MrMhor is still dithering around over quantities for the patio, Mustress - how hard can it really be? Has he not used the Bunnings Calculator (since it seemed to work out pretty well for the SLABS)?

Afternoon all, are we thriving?

On the plus side here, I have done a tip run and taken 3 huge bags of stuff to the charity shop.

On the minus side, it is bloody raining and blowing a gale AGAIN.

I think I now have 6 subscribers, but it's very hard to work out.

I too have subscribed! No idea how it will pan out but it will, at least, be unutterably obvious who I am

'sOK thumb I have the tech skills of a squashed snail, I wont spill the beans! I have just been accused of a lazy, sexist stereotype on the other thread. I'm proud.