The Robbing Butcher - Bemused by the Patio at FrogMhor Cottage

[TheMustressMhor]

What next for the Robbing Butcher?

Will he wander past Mhor Cottage several times a day so that he can keep an eye on the progress of the patio?

Will Mr. Mhor's measurements turn out to be wrong? And will Mustress Mhor and her DH have too many SLABS as a result?

If they do, what will they do with them?

Will the eggs be dippy tomorrow?

Sign up below if you are interested in the answers to these pivotal questions.

Me too yolo , was too embarrassed to admit , had no idea who she was! . Still a tragedy what happened though .

I did clean budgies cage , took an hour!
Just as I had finished minijeff put his ball in water bowl and soaked my last two sanded sheets!
Wine was drank!

Welcome back online, Mustress

I didn't know who Caroline was either until the assault headlines.
It's tragic. I think the limelight attracts a certain type of people who are actually quite vulnerable. It's a ruthless business, and social media has made it a lot worse.

MYSTERY IN SCOTTISH VILLAGE

By our Special Correspondant

Fears are growing today for the sanity of the butcher in a small village in Scotland.

Residents have become used to him opening only three days a week.

They have also become used to a good standard in the Square Sausage department.

Reports are flooding our offices that this butcher is opening every single day.

His sausage standards seem to be haphazard.

This newspaper will pay for any reader's contribution to this discussion, as it is clearly of great interest to the rest of the world.

This newspaper has been led to believe, via a reliable 'source' that the Robbing Butcher has entered the export market and is shipping the 'good stuff' to a Mr. H. Mountbatten Windsor, currently residing in Canada.

This gentleman has spent a lot of time on many of Scotland's finest shooting and stalking estates, and the source confirms that Square Sausage is a favourite.

Hence, the Robbing Butcher is now shipping in sub-standard SS (SSSS?) and opening more frequently in order to provide a cover for his nefarious activities.

This newspaper very much hopes that this is not the case.

It's the most plausible explanation, yolo

The "newspaper" will gladly pay contributors whose allegations are published, in square sausage and/or Stornoway black pudding.

SSSS

Indeed. A splendid acronym, yolo.

Mind you, today's SS was actually circular. And remarkably tasty.

Yum Yum.

Yolo I , too, had only 'heard the name' and had to google. I share your embarrassment, being in the same line of work!

Does the RB do venison sausages Mhor? Mine does a fine version, not at all dry. Mind you, he's a Brexiteer despite having kept his business afloat on EU subsidies, so I go to the other one now, whose fare is more variable. Maybe he too is exporting to Canada?

Anyway just came back to say I am barely surviving today.

I woke with a hot flush to hear DC 3 sicking up a fur ball on my bedroom not-Aubusson rug in the early hours.

Then boiler failed to ignite so the house was freezing ( even by my standards) when I eventually got up.

Then DC 1 also started with ominous plumbing noises, before spewing undigested Sheba liberally in every direction as he leaped around the parlour.

Now I have weird brown stains were no weird brown stains should ever be, and find the excellent cat vomit stain remover stuff has run out and been discontinued.

It's time I demanded an honorary doctorate I think

words what you need is a meeting with some Stanford University professors! don't forget to put your glasses on and tie your hair up so your beauty doesnt distract them.

Bloody cats - at least I assume that's what you are referring to?

I bought a new lampshade today, am very pleased with it, but why the fuck do they wrap them up so difficultly? they take one bit of cellophane and wrap it round and round and round and round. Surely shrink wrapping would be easier?

Absolutely Yolo. A few tantalising tendrils will droop, though.

I get you re the lampshades. It’s peak cellophane with those buggers.

Yes bloody cats. Have a bloody dog too, but she is being lovely at the moment.

Unlike the cars, she always remembers to ask if I’m OK.

Cats

tendrils words good work my friend. Peak Megz!

We have a car issue at the mo - DH has taken my rather nice car. I am driving DD1's starter car. DD2 is commuting with hers. I can see that when DD1 gets back I, me, me, me will need a proper car of my own and pref one the dog can get in the back of rather than a Citroen C1 with a boot the size of a handbag.

words/grinchly/whatever your current name is I am loving your name testing on diff freds!!

Boo hiss to sicky cats, SSSS and non-functioning internet!

We had a mega thunderstorm the other night which took out the internet briefly - I was a tad lost for a while! Horrifying how reliant upon it I have become

One thing I do rather love about being in Australia, and one of the few things I miss when I come back to Blighty, is the sausages. Gluten free beef sausages are Standard here, which suits me down to the ground as I need GF and I don't do pork as it gives me sick migraines. I COULD get GF beef sausages in the UK when I lived there but it was bulk purchase from some fab farm in Wales - can't do that when it's my Dad's freezer that would be filled rather than my own! I have found edible sausages in the UK the last couple of times I've been over, but the sods will insist on putting them in pig casings! which still makes me unwell.

Also - apropos of previous MN warning - isn't it weird when you realise that people not in the group lurk on your group thread and then report you?? Years ago I was in a quiche called Threadkillers and we made the mild error of assuming that no one outside of our group actually read the thread - found out when 2 of us (yes, me too) got our wrists slapped for being rude about a couple of posters elsewhere. Also made us realise that "our" threads weren't the "safe haven" we'd believed them to be, in our naivety.

thumbs that (about feeling safe on freds) is a useful take. Hope the sprogs have stopped with the attitude?!

I'm knackered, going to bed now to dream of Square or Round Sausages.

I cannot comprehend reading or doing something I am not interested in.
I also don’t pick at scabs. I wonder if the two are connected.

Having an almost peaceful coffee on the stairs (can overhear baby playing with Mr Worfs).
Had an afternoon settling session in nursery yesterday - I cried after I dropped him off, he didn’t.

Test

Worfs - I don't know about nursery but I do remember my mum telling this lovely story about me:
First day of school I scampered away joyfully with nary a backward glance, which left her a bit "Oh! Ok then, whatevs" as she dried her tear.
I was fine the next day as well but on Day 3 I apparently clung to her legs and wept. She wondered aloud what was wrong and APPARENTLY I, as a 4 3/4 year old, said "well all the other children were crying so I thought I ought to as well".

I don't know if that's any consolation or not!

Hah
I’m still nervous about it all, but hope for the best.

Words I too enjoy the testposting

I see MNHQ commented fgs.

Who. WHO follows a thread they have no interest in? It's like being in preschool.

Anyway. Square sausages. Yes please!! I fancy bramley apple and pork. In fact any sausages would be welcome...my fridge is bare of any decent breakfast making ingredients. There's milk and I think we have Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. I say think, because DS has a penchant for demolishing the contents of cereal boxes then leaving the empty box all perfectly rectangular and opening carefully folded in and parked where it should be......leaving one with the impression that there are still goodies to be had within. One then reaches with hungry expectation for said cereal box, expending a lot more muscle effort than is necessary, because there is in fact nothing but a few abandoned flake orphans remaining. I daren't look for fear of disappointment!

I might have leftovers from yesterdays turkey crown dinner instead.

Very cool and blustery here but I have a faint headache coming on. PMS I think. Great. Pre-menopause has been rubbish for me thus far.

Thumbs Your poor mother! That's the funniest settling in story I've heard.

DS one didn't look back either. Was delighted to be away But DS 2 was a serious clinger for years. I mean having to physcally pick up and bodily carry to school. Mornings started to give me a nervous breakdown. In the end I home educated. Much better dealing with it by the time he went back to school years later, but it was a sacrifice and realised I should have rejoiced when DS 1 disowned me

DEBACLE IN THE CO-OP

Great heavens.

This morning I sallied forth to the Robbing Butcher's shop, armed only with Mr. Mhor's Lovely Shiny New Credit Card.

I was expecting the RB to be open (even though he ought, by rights, to be shut) and was mightily angered to discover that he was, in fact, shut.

Mr. Mhor and I had a big order for the RB but only the bacon was essential for today.

So.……………......………..nothing loath, I entered the Co-Op and bought the bacon there. I went to the self-checkout and to my dismay, Mr. Mhor's Shiny New Credit Card was DECLINED.

Being of sturdy stock (all the Mhors are outstandingly brave and inventive) I paid for the bacon with the Co-Op Reward Points.

When I returned to Mhor Cottage and bemoaned my fate to Mr. Mhor, he pointed out that it was lucky that the RB was actually closed today.

Imagine how Mr. Mhor and I would have felt if it had got round the village that their Shiny New Credit Card had been declined.

I had to have an extra portion of SS (although it was circular) to calm my nerves.

Mr. Mhor was so unsettled by the whole thing that he provided me with two fried eggs instead of one.

Dear me.

I am most unnerved to find out that people eat less than three eggs in one sitting

My god Mustress. The shame

Has Mr Mhor presented a reasonable explanation??