Phillip Schofield has come out as gay

[catinb0oots]

Blimey. Married for 27 years.

Compared to the rest of the internet, which is making me incandescent with rage today, it's heartening to see people on mumsnet thinking about the wife first.

'I don't think the 90s were this haven of gay acceptance that a lot of posters on here seem to think they were.'

Agreed - there was no haven. There was suspicion and bigotry and being openly out could ruin your career, whether that was a career in the public eye or otherwise.

Which is why I have way more respect for the men and women who came out and lived open lives over the ones who chose to stay in the closet. But fair play to him, better late than never.

Things are still bad and yes do tell how one knows somebody is gay.

My son has come out very young and been bullied for it, his self esteem has been ripped to shreds in his formative years. Really can’t see the benefit of coming out young.

Why do they have to do what anybody says?

And she wasn't his manager when she married him, she was a very junior production assistant.

@sunshinesupermum

You have my sympathy. My father died suddenly of pancreatic cancer when I was 21. No warning. Just a call to say that he'd died. Dealing with the shock of it was tough. So imagine the further shock of his young gay lover gatecrashing the funeral and sobbing loudly at the back. And that's how we found out! It turned out that they had a house together for years of which we knew nothing. He had been married to my mum for 27 years. His life had been built upon lie upon lie. Homosexuality was illegal when he was born. Then, of course the Aids scare in the 80s kept many firmly locked in the closet for even longer. We found out so much more in the days and weeks afterwards. Arrests for cottaging, other men etc. My mother then had to have an HIV test. And whilst I still feel sorry for the tortured existence that my father led, he always knew that he was gay and had used my mother and us children as a cover with devastating consequences to everyone. I would be highly surprised if Phillip Scofield had only recently had a revelation. He will have known but suppressed it for many years, whilst probably cheating on his wife. Some people become extremely adept at compartmentalizing their lives and lying becomes the norm for them. The last 20 years have been huge in terms of increased acceptance. It's a shame that he wasn't prepared to come out earlier as to do some could have helped countless others. My bet is that he's been forced to admit it ahead of story in the press coming out.

There were famous gay people in the 80s, but it was an alternative scene and not compatible with being a wholesome Children's BBC presenter

I was about to say well, Andi Peters was out and proud but turns out that he isn't openly gay nor is Andy Day

Saying that, it’s more accurate to say he’s bi isn’t it? After being married for so long?

I know this isn't a popular view on MN, but a person's sexuality is whatever they themselves deem it to be.

Personally, I'm always a bit mixed on the issue of celebs coming out as it gets me a little riled up that celebs who aren't 100% straight should even have to face this issue of should/shouldn't they come out, frankly I'm not sure why it's anyone else's business so I'm not convinced it was something he should even have felt the need to do.

And they clearly loved/ love each other.

I think you are likely right Bluntness a boyfriend or past relationship is going to rear it's head.

In the 90s when we booked a B&B or similar I used to tell them on the phone that we were a gay couple, would that we a problem? More than once I got a yes. There was no one to complain to so me a my girlfriend considered it a bullet dodged and booked elsewhere.
And it hotels I lost count of the times we had to ring down to change the room when the 'helpful' check in staff gave us two singles instead of the double we booked...

'Saying that, it’s more accurate to say he’s bi isn’t it? After being married for so long?'

If he says he's bi he's bi, if he says he's queer he's queer and if he says he's gay then he's gay. Mumsnet doesn't get to decide that one...

www.entertainmentdaily.co.uk/news/married-tv-star-david-baddiel-hits-back-at-dale-winton-stories/

Baddiel said unrequited love story was fabricated tabloid bollocks

Mrsjayy, yes, if you don't intend to change your life, no divorce, no relationships with men, and your wife knows and accepts, there is no reason for big emotional announcements on tv.

So he's done this big announcement for a reason. And the likely hood is there is a bigger story about to come out and he's trying to control the narrative.

'If his wife knew, and he is not intending on divorcing or having a relationship with a man, then what is the need to tell the world? There is none.'

Unless he's tired hiding who he really is?

Go into your workplace on Monday and discuss your weekend without specifying pronouns. Try to disguise the gender of the person/s you hung out with. Use they/we the whole time.
It's exhausting being 'in' all the time, not being open.

I’m surprised, and I’d be pretty furious and unforgiving if my husband did this.
I don’t think it’s admirable.

he said in the interview with Holly that it was totally his decision to speak out now and he hadn't been pushed or forced, but I'd be really surprised if there wasn't an exclusive Sunday story with an ex boyfriend on the horizon

Wonder when he told his wife ?

Then think about when your friends/colleagues talk about who they fancy, sports they like, hobbies they have and imagine if you had to watch every word you said to keep up the pretence you've woven around your life, afraid of 'giving' away something that outs you.

Personally I thought it was a bit wimpy to post a statement on the internet then have holly read the statement

He should have just stood there and said it

My brother in law did this after similar amount of time married. Destroyed his wife for a long long time. Teenage boys also pretty battered by it.

Taken years to heal and now they have Christmas together and there seems a decent enough amnesty but it was horrid at the time.

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

Why would a straight woman get married to a gay man and have his children?
Firstly, how do you know she's straight?
Secondly, never heard of lavender marriages? Or other types of arrangements within marriages?
Perhaps she wanted children and thought that Phil would be a good responsible parent. Perhaps they were best friends rather than romantic partners. Who knows?

If his wife knew, and he is not intending on divorcing or having a relationship with a man, then what is the need to tell the world?

Maybe he was sick of hiding who he really is?
I'm not gay, but I can't imagine feeling having to hide your true self for so long.
It must be horrible having to essentially live a lie.

Maybe Steph is gay too, who knows? As in, it was a marriage of convenience for both of them.