Phillip Schofield has come out as gay

[catinb0oots]

Blimey. Married for 27 years.

Haworthia I agree. I recently realised I'm autistic. Before this revelation I thought why do gay people come out? Why make the announcement? Just do the straight thing and live your life as you are. But now that I know I'm in a minority, I feel it's really important that people know who I am. I have made the announcement, I completely understand why it's important. I really understand how big a deal it is not to be the same as most people. I feel strongly that a neurotypical person cannot tell me what my experience of autism is. I guess that's the same with a gay person. Yet alot of straight people have piled on with what they think the gay experience is, when they can't possibly know.
I hope his wife is okay. Also, I do believe he might not have known. I didn't know I was autistic until I was 44! For me I have always known I'm straight. But not everyone is the same.

Well here’s my two bob worth...

I don’t think he’s particularly brave. I think he’s been quite selfish.

I can understand not wanting to come out when he was younger, as it was a different era and not as acceptable to be gay. In the last 10/15 I think it’s been embraced so much more so why wait this long.

He’s lived a lie but equally his wife has. She’s been robbed of the chance to grow old with someone who knew full well she couldn’t make him happy. He chose to keep it quiet but he’s not considered how this could impact her.

Anyway it’s his life but I feel sorry for her and their kids not him.

I don't care what people do or their sexuality but ( I admit) if my husband came out or my sons came out as gay I would struggle with it , but I would learn to live with it and not ostracise them. I like to think I'm ' live and let live' but I know that deep down I would worry and struggle to accept it. I would probably divorce my dh , but my sons would get 100 percent support as long as they were true to themselves and didn't hurt anyone in the process.
Im not proud of how on would deal with it myself but I would be upset (at first at least. )Mostly because I feel that being gay is harder than people make out it is and how judgemental people can be ( even in today's more enlightened times , it's still hard)
My son had a girlfriend who was with him for five years before deciding she was gay and they split up. I admire her for being honest with him and they both handled it really well.
She is happy now and I'm happy for her but she didn't have it easy at all.
Society has certain norms and anything outside that must be tricky to navigate as my late sil found out too. She had a very troubled life and it was so sad. She was also very hard to help or reach out to!

DH just arrived home and watched the 6pm news. He turned to me and said 'WTF Phillip Schofield has a wife!!!???' Apparently he always thought he was gay and was bemused by his coming out. This is from a man who is usually hugely unobservant about people.

@eaglejulesk

No, the wife gets no support. In fact I was blamed for not keeping him happy ‘in that way’ by his parents. They blamed me for his sexuality. They ended up forgiving him but not me.

I loved him and still do and of course wish him happiness in his new life but I cannot forgive the dishonesty. I cannot forgive him for taking my trust. I cannot forgive him for taking my best years. I am resentful because none of it was down to me and he could and should have been more honest earlier.

I appreciate that it was difficult for him but I was his collateral damage. I see him proclaiming he is ‘living his best life’. Good on him.

He left me a broken person with very little support. And yes, if I dare to speak out about his selfishness, I get called homophobic. It is nothing of the sort.

Im not a fan of Schofield but thats due to his attitudes towards people particuarly poorer people who have appeared on TM.

This months Cosmo has an article on homophobia today, I was reading my nieces copy last weekend. Interesting read. The article explored how/why homophobia is becoming more vicious again and mentioned how its likely that some of it is to do with the lurch to the right politically .

Pretty sure Phils politics are more to the right.

The more I read the more obvious it is that his wife knew all along and they had an agreement. I mean sure. Okay. They're adults. But they brought children into it whom are going to be badly affected by all this for the rest of their lives. I don't like that bit.

Can’t you imagine for a moment, how difficult it would be for a gay person to never mention their sexuality, and yet at the same time having to negotiate small talk with people like “are you married?” or “do you have kids?”
I'm not suggesting that gay people shouldn't mention their sexuality at all but I fail to see why the whole 'coming out' thing is necessary. Why the need to make such a big deal about what sex you fancy/have sex with?

If someone asks a gay person whether they are married or if they have kids, can't they just say yes or no in the same way that a heterosexual person would?

Unless you have direct experience I think it’s hard to imagine how, actually, gay people have to “come out” to people constantly.
They don't have to at all.

Society is obviously heteronormative and people will naturally assume most people are straight unless told to the contrary.
I agree that generally people are assumed to be heterosexuals unless they are outrageously camp when the tendency is to assume they are gay (even though they may just be camp).

Unless you think gay people should pretend to be straight for fear of coming across like their sexuality defines them, as you say.
No, I don't think gay people should ever pretend to be straight. That is the kind of behaviour I do abhor. I just don't think it needs to be shouted from the rooftops in the same way as I don't broadcast my sexual orientation. I only tell people on a need to know basis.
It is totally fine to say you are gay but it isn't a necessity to tell everyone.
Why do viewers need to know PS is gay?

If, as has been mooted, a newspaper may have been about to 'out' PS, maybe there should be a law to prevent the media from doing that as it is private information and they shouldn't treat it as if it's abnormal. Maybe that would help to normalise homosexuality, not publishing it as something that is 'other'?

A husband on a low light

@Shinycat
Stupid comments yourself
I meant I’d be furious if my husband decided he was gay

I can’t see why your comments are more sensible than mine,
Oh yes of course they’re your comments

She's known he was gay before they married. She's his manager. She's kept the papers quiet for years about #schofe and his "encounters". Now no one, including Ruth, dare criticise #schofield for fear of being called #homophobic. His wife is protecting his brand and her %

This makes sense to me.

I think many women would be happy live in extremely well off comfort with a man who was a best friend and forgo the sex tbh. It's a no brainer! His marriage sounds like one more of a business partnership and convenience.

I honestly though he was squeaky clean, part of his appeal for me.

I find it completely shocking and almost unbelievable that he could have been having affairs with men all those years. I mean, he's so high profile it's amazing how he's never been victim of a kiss and tell. How?!

On the subject of Eamon and Ruth. I felt there was a lot of discomfort there and PS looked very on edge at what Eamonn was going to say. Ruth Hughes him, yes but her body language on the sofa with her legs crossed away from him shows she felt uncomfortable. I also noted she said "as long as your wife and kids are happy that's all that matters", I think that was a dig.

Hollys reading of his statement while he sat looking like a frail victim wasn't great and I felt her questioning when he is planning on dating and getting into a relationship with men was hugely inappropriate and badly staged. Very offensive to his wife I thought, but a possible slip up as it appears the marriage has been one of mutual convenience anyway. Holly being acutely aware of that has let her guard down I feel.

It's horrible to think the whole thing has been staged and done for PR. I really thought he was one of the good guys.

Completely agree 100% Apple, and i'm glad you've found peace and real happiness at last!

Some of the comments on here are ridiculously presumptuous and judgy !!

You cannot presume others would feel as you would if it was your husband,.. his wife may have suspected/ known for years, a lot of the public did, and after 24 years together i would imagine she knows him bloody well!

I would also imagine their relationship after so many years, is based on real friendship and respect for each other, and why would that change?
..and yes, i totally get why he needed to finally find peace within himself and stop hiding who he is now! I've known many people who have 'come out', its a bloody big deal..

Good on you Mr Schofield!

Lots of gay men and women also want children; my late sil's partner wanted them , but she didn't. That must also be a minefield to navigate as well I would imagine. I do feel for his girls , but at least they have the funds for counselling if they need it.
It's all very hard though I imagine.

It always makes me sad when people comment things like why does he feel the need to tell people/ ive never come out as straight/ well its no big deal/ he should of come out ages ago.

Unfortunately it is still a big deal. And whilst i understand that people feel they are being supportive when they say that, it really minimises some of the difficulties faced by gay people.

Maybe for some people its been safe for ages, but for others it has not. Lgbt still has a much higher rate of homelessness, and theres lots of factors at play. One person saying they wouldnt have minded doesnt mean that they wouldn't have faced repercussions.

I was born roughly when he was married and ive heard lots of homophobic things in my life time. Today even. When they dont affect you, they might wash over you but some people hear them loud and clear

Yes his wife might be sad, however divorce is always sad. We dont make everyone who stops loving their husband out to be a villain.

I really don't get how people are convinced that certain male celebrities are gay- on what basis? Rumour? Their 'manner'. There's nothing about Michael ball that suggests he gay to me.

Michael Ball is married isn't he?? Not that it matters now!! Definitely suspicious about Phil vickery now though!!

Saying that, it’s more accurate to say he’s bi isn’t it? After being married for so long?

Not necessarily.

He could have been making his wife miserable in a very unsatisfactory marriage for years.

I would also imagine their relationship after so many years, is based on real friendship and respect for each other, and why would that change

Speaking as someone who was once married to a gay man, that really is a flight of imagination.

Not RTWT but I reckon PS was pushed rather than jumped. Why come out now? An expose in the pipeline I reckon (or a threatening lover?)

I agree his poor wife - while he is made out to be a hero and an “inspiration” she’ll have to grin and bear it. He’ll come out (literally!) smelling of roses of course!

This is as surprising as Ellen

I don’t care what he is, I don’t like him and don’t give a flying monkey

I think many women would be happy live in extremely well off comfort with a man who was a best friend and forgo the sex tbh

You are assuming a gay man wouldn't have sex with a woman, and also assuming quite a lot about women happy to be 'kept'.

Astonishing assumptions both.

Completely agree 100% Apple, and i'm glad you've found peace and real happiness at last! Yes @Apple1971 thank you for posting your experience.

My friend was definitely duped by her ex as he always knew he wanted to be a woman but still did the marriage / kids for 17 years or more! It's sad people can't be true to themselves , but life is never black and white. It still tore the family apart. That's the bit I struggle with. If she ( Steph) knew and was happy with the arrangement, then that's different of course. ( she probably did know)
Being duped isn't good and downright selfish. Must happen a lot.