Phillip Schofield has come out as gay

[catinb0oots]

Blimey. Married for 27 years.

Michael Ball is gay?

Michael Ball is gay?

Oh you sweet summer child

I don't understand why gay people feel the need or the want to 'come out'.
This alone shows how far we still have to go! I still feel nervous everytime I mention 'my wife'. Not because I am making a big thing of it, I am just talking about normal stuff, like what I am doing this weekend. Yet I'm still nervous about what someone might say, and very used to double-takes, people assuming they must have misheard etc etc.

I'm married, she's my wife, why shouldn't I be allowed to talk about her correctly in everyday conversation without someone claiming that it doesn't matter..............It still does.

No SirChing he is not out, and still 'happily married' to his wife. Although it seems completely unnecessary in 2020 (and you'd think it would be easy especially in showbiz compared to say, the Premiership) many of these celebs have made an early career judgement call that their appeal / fan base would be impacted negatively if they were out. I guess Schofield and Ball's fan base could arguably be characterised as middle aged housewives watching daytime tele!

He was dripping with insincerity. And announcing it on TM in such a melodramatic way. Dear God.

Is it really anyone's business?

No. In fact I’ll bet until this mornings This Morning very few, if any, of us had let it take up any thinking space at all.

But if you make a public announcement you invite comment and speculation.

That’s not snidey and gossipy. It would’ve been yesterday, but we’re all in the know now. It’s just probably a couple of days before we’d have been in the know when it featured as an exclusive in the Mail on Sunday.

Sexuality isn't always straightforward. Posters are discussing whether coming out is easy or not - often the barriers are internal and not easily understood. It's not always necessarily about lying or hiding ... more of an experience of confusion, feeling vaguely wrong as a person.

That's true @time and I don't know about Schofield, but Michael Ball's father reputedly bullied him back into the closet which must have been awful.

I saw the "love is love" celebration on twitter. It feels rather misplaced in this scenario where a family is breaking up. Would these people be yelling "love is love!" if their partner left them for someone else?

If he has had to hide his sexuality for the sake of his career I'm sorry for that, though other celebrities have navigated it. I suspect there's either someone in the wings who he's going to wait a decorous amount of time before going public with, or an ex is trying to blackmail him.

Some of the judgements and assumptions on this post are unreal.

Sometimes it takes people time to understand their own feelings and identity. Sometimes they hide it from themselves or just don't know how they feel or how to deal with it.

I was married for 13 years to a man - and now I live happily with a women. I did not have a sham marriage (well not for that reason), I did not act on my feelings and there was no agreement for me to have other partners. I knew my feelings but squashed them because I didn't know what good would come of even thinking about them. I was entirely faithful for the years we were together and perhaps if my hand hadn't been forced, I may have lived denying my true feelings to myself forever.

As it was, my ex husband had at least two affairs that I know about which is why our marriage broke down (and no i'm not allowing anyone to suggest that was my fault) - and only when I left him did I feel brave enough to acknowledge my inner feelings. After that it was simple - I told my friends and family quite quickly and met my now partner a few months after I left my husband. I am now happier than I have ever been, free, myself and perhaps wish I had been brave enough to do something years ago if only to avoid being in such an unhappy and unfaithful (on his side) marriage.

Philip is very brave. It is possible for his wife and children to support and love him unconditionally and it looks like they will and do. I wish them all well.

Why is PS sex life of any interest to anyone ( other than his wife)?

...or whoever else he's sleeping with. No one's. Prurience that's all it is.

All the news feeds are full of praise for Philip and describing him as 'brave'. Sorry, but I think soldiers who give there lives for their country or who come home maimed deserve the accolade of being described as 'brave'. I don't think lying to your wife for years is brave at all, in fact she's the one who is 'brave' in this circumstance for tolerating the situation depending on how long she knew about him being gay. Imagine how she feels, they must have gone years in a celibate relationship with her wondering if he didn't find her attractive enough etc when it was him being gay all along! Her confidence must have been so low.

Sometimes people might lie to themselves, sure.

More times people know they are gay/bi, or had gay sex/relationships, and choose to lie to their girlfriends/boyfriends. That’s a shit thing to do.

His wife and children who were probably blindsided by this, will melt into the background and not receive as much support. Although, in my opinion, this is probably harder for his wife than it is for him. Due to the fact that she thought she knew who she married, but she did not know him at all.

In my experience the wife gets no support - she is supposed to get on with life as though nothing has happened. My ex and I are still best friends. but I won't deny it was bloody tough at the beginning, you feel as though you've been living a lie for years and wonder if they ever actually loved you.

Yet I'm still nervous about what someone might say, and very used to double-takes, people assuming they must have misheard etc etc.

I've experienced this. I thought we were long past this but no.... I live in another Western European country. I'm straight so the issue has never really come up but I'm going on a long-haul holiday next year to visit friends who have emigrated. When I'm telling people about the holiday and who I'm staying with it's unbelievable how many people do an obvious "double take" when I say I'm going to stay with an old school friend and HIS husband. I've had people correct my language assuming that I've mixed my pronouns up!!

Blimey! According to Wiki Cathy saved Michael Ball’s life by dragging him from a house fire.

That’s brave.

@NoImNotSpecial, I think it's safe to say plenty of gay people have better "family values" than you do!

I’m astounded that anyone is surprised.

He was in NZ as teen/young man. He’s about a decade older than me and was very popular in NZ. He could have been
Openly gay if he’d wanted to be.

Maybe he didn’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️The rest of us thought it was blindingly obvious, even us pre teens in the 1980’s.

He is under the same management as Ant n Dec. When Ant has his fall from Grace with the drugs, drink, drink driving etc, they have turned it all around and he is back to being a tv favourite. Quite amazing public relations expertise, he was drunk in charge of a car which he crashed and his treatment of his wife Lisa has been unedifying, but he is back to being a tv golden boy and I think I read he has signed another mega millions tv deal with ITV. Just won a NTA award etc.

Schofield will have been advised to do the big grandiose reveal by them with Holly (also under the same management) - all stage managed to head off the bullying claims and perhaps a story emerging from somewhere. If he has had gay encounters on the side for years, which it is rumoured, there might be a few emerging out the woodwork. And the announcement has deflated that.

All these female celebs falling over themselves to congratulate him, calling him brave on Twitter. Presumably they would be just as cool about it if their DHs did the same to them.

Blindingly obviously, how?

I have to say, I have known several people over the years who have come out as gay or lesbian after having been in a heterosexual marriage for years, plus having children. It isn't that simple or straightforward, and it isn't necessarily lying to your wife for years, in cases where the man concerned hadn't admitted it to himself. Similarly for women I have known who were married and came out as lesbian, it really isn't as simple as 'you lied to me for years'.

But if you are unsure whether you are straight or gay then why marry and have children with anyone until you figure it out? It isn't compulsory. I get that it might take people time to figure it out, I get why they might date people of either sex while figuring it out. I don't get why you would marry someone, have children with someone, intertwine your life with someone elses in such an intimate way. It seems cruel and selfish, like you are using the other person to hide who you really are or to get to know who you really are or maybe something else but I can't think what that something else would be that wouldn't be selfish? Certainly they can't be thinking of their partners feelings when they decide to marry them whilst being unsure of their sexuality?

Is anyone straight any more? Family values are so 1980s.

WTF is that supposed to mean?

I'm the same age as PS, and have had several friends who have been openly gay since I was in my '20s. It hasn't been a taboo issue for 3 decades!

Yeah, being gay in the 90s was so easy for everyone. 🙄

ugh! something about him- no, not the gay thing. he's given women a hard time whilst sucking up to stunning and brave transwomen. Mr sanctimonious and it always rings hollow. and the timing- just when he was being hauled over coals for being difficult to work with, he emerges, phoenix-like and courageous. poor wife.

"Being gay is not the issue, its deceiving your wife. I bet Holly had words with him about that."

Seriously? News flash. You don't know any of them or what happened

I'm married, she's my wife, why shouldn't I be allowed to talk about her correctly in everyday conversation without someone claiming that it doesn't matter..............It still does.

But I thought what that poster was saying SomeDyke is that it shouldn't matter to anyone these days - ie, if you say my wife then that should be as much of a non issue as if you said my husband. So wouldn't it be better for people just to accept that other peoples sexuality is none of their business and people are free to have what relationships they want. You should of course be free to talk about your wife in every day conversation and I sincerely hope nobody would have a problem with that. But it should just be an everyday thing these days.