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Original poster

Just need to offload this-disgusted by friend’s behaviour

116 replies

Velveteal · 07/02/2020 08:22

Family friend, happily married, 2 children is commenting on lots of women’s Instagram pages. He’s in his 40’s and some of these are girls of 17. They’re insta famous models, fitness gurus that type of thing. Lots of ‘what I’d do to you’ ‘sexy body’ ‘you’re so hot’ type of comments.

It’s just so sleezy and I’m worried about his wife finding out. To see the comments you have to just click on the women he’s following so it’s not difficult!

That’s it really. Just really disappointed in him.

OP posts:

PersephoneandHades · 07/02/2020 08:55

Gross. Poor wife

PurpleDaisies · 07/02/2020 08:56

I’d want to know.

Damntheman · 07/02/2020 09:17

Not only is it sleezy and gross, it's also really unfair to those 17 year olds (and other women) who have to put up with him being disgusting because apparently he can't say anything nice. I'd have a word about what is and what is not an appropriate compliment.

BaolFan · 07/02/2020 09:27

I'd tell his wife.

FuzzyAtmosphere · 07/02/2020 09:28

Why don’t you just pull him up on it?

fastliving · 07/02/2020 09:31

Can't you comment not his comments moments so he can see that you've seen him (although I assume he will just set up another private account)

fastliving · 07/02/2020 09:32

Yeahwhatevs · 07/02/2020 09:34

Why wouldn't you want his wife to find out? She should know. It's gross.

AnyFucker · 07/02/2020 09:35

Come on now. Tell his wife.

HopeYouStepOnALego · 07/02/2020 09:37

Pull him up on it and ask him how he'd feel if some stranger more than twice their age made lecherous and derogatory comments of this type to one of his children when they are on social media. It doesn't matter if they're models or fitness gurus or whatever, it's never acceptable to make comments of this nature.

RockinHippy · 07/02/2020 09:38

Comment on his comments things like "ew gross, I didn't have you pegged as a dirty old perv, I bet your wife would be pleased to see this. NOT, how disrespectful" & hound him

MashedSpud · 07/02/2020 09:38

Another guy who thinks these young women are complimented by their sleaze. When in fact they cringe.

RuffleCrow · 07/02/2020 09:40

Sounds like they're not so happily married after all. Definitely tell her. Take some screenshots first in case he starts deleting.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 07/02/2020 09:44

Tag his wife into the comments.

SW16 · 07/02/2020 09:46

If he is your family friend just tell him you have seen it, it makes him look sleazy, and unless he can assure you that his wife is fully aware you feel it puts you in a difficult position.

Ugh, these revolting men.

Bezalelle · 07/02/2020 09:50

Dirty git. Tell his wife.

Curiouschlo · 07/02/2020 09:56

Unfortunately men like this exsist. They often think it's something they can call harmless if the women finds out or gets pissed off. They make out you are paranoid and all the rest. I've had exs like this. Look at anything female and if they are ok looking they will flirt or comment on. I had a right immature ex ten years ago. He was a civil servant. Always telling me he was flirting with a married women with kids. Called it harmless. Then he went to a wedding. He liked how Nikon camera. He took loads of pictures. He was taking pictures of the pretty teenage bridesmaid and added her on Facebook after the wedding. Again made out I was paranoid. I could see full well why he took so many pictures of her dancing etc.
Then he was working with two blondes and took great pleasure in swapping numbers with them and moaning about another guy interested in one. Basically he was an arsehole to me.

I'm now with a nice man (8 years in) slnot once Has any of this shit gone on. Any females he knows have been really nice and wanted me to be a part of things too

Anything like what he's doing is childish and will destroy his wife's confidence. So sick when you have kids too. But if he's that kind of bloke then unfortunately the chances are he's like this all the time. Some men are easily pleased. If she's pretty and has a good body he wants to Shag her. Sad really that they have so little respect for their own partners!

LonginesPrime · 07/02/2020 09:57

It’s just so sleezy and I’m worried about his wife finding out

Why are you worried about her finding out a true fact about the man she married? He obviously isn't.

SirGawain · 07/02/2020 09:58

His wife deserves to know what he’s like when he thinks he’s not being watched .

tooyoungat40 · 07/02/2020 09:58

Screen shots and send to wife. At least then she is informed and can decide what to do.

LouReidDododo · 07/02/2020 10:00

Yeah my family member caught her husband doing this, over looked it then caught him kissing her mate.

Is she on Instagram? If so tag her in on it

Hepsibar · 07/02/2020 10:03

I agree with Rufflecrow about taking screenshots. I would also not want him near my family.

It's tricky whether you deal with him first or tell his wife first. I think I would deal with her and the angle I would take ... this is very difficult but, you came across comments about X texting inapprop comments to under 18's which put him in a vulnerable position should they come to light ... and that you will raise the issue with the hubby. (Have the screenshots up your sleeve in case she denies.) Does she think he needs mental health support?

Then v quickly I would send a direct message to him saying you are concerned by him texting under 18's with inappropriate comments - does he realise the harm to himself and the girls and that you have contacted the wife about it so hopefully can get the support to stop doing this.

I envisage this will be the end of your friendship but who wants a friend like this ... look at Prince Andrew! Also if you feel it is really inappropriate can you report to Instagram so they can track him when he sets up a new account(s). How bad is it ... do you need to inform the police, they may just have a little word initially.

Cam77 · 07/02/2020 10:09

Unpleasant but wouldn’t make it a big issue. If you can’t put it to the back of your mind just reduce contact with them. Not really your business.

lottiegarbanzo · 07/02/2020 10:18

Why are you worried? I mean, it's not your problem to worry about, so why are you placing yourself inside their marriage and taking their issue on as yours? That's weird.

Just tell her - respond to his comments honestly and tag her, or screenshot and pass on.

Why is your immediate response, that you feel compelled to lie (actually or by omission) to protect him? That is weirdly submissive behaviour. Are you a habitual liar yourself? Is that why you see it as normal? Likewise, do you habitually place your and other women's needs beneath the wants of men?

It's not up to you to choose to hide this from her. Thinking it is, that you have that power in their marriage, which you will exert in his favour, is weird.

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 07/02/2020 10:18

He sounds like a dirty old perve. Ew. Makes me cringe

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