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Original poster

Baby in restaurant etiquette.

305 replies

YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:14

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

OP posts:
PrayingandHoping · 06/02/2020 10:16

We've been out for several lunches and dinners with my now 3 month old and we take her in her pram.

Just choose a place u know has space between tables and if it's a place u book tell them so they give you a table suitable for them

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:16

By restaurant I mean, we live very rurally so we don’t have many, if any high end restaurants. We have nice pubs..

We have The local pubs for alcoholic over 60’s that are fab for a quick drink for no reason. Then we have nicer pubs that do lovely food and are good for occasions.

OP posts:
Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:18

Does anyone ever get any huffs or puffs from the person booking your table when you mention the baby? I’ve read horror stories of people being asked to leave, places refusing to book you if you bring a baby ect.

I just want to enjoy it and if she’s anything like she is currently she won’t be any bother at all but I can imagine people seeing the pram and assuming their night is ruined 🙈

OP posts:

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THNG5 · 06/02/2020 10:18

Just make sure it's child friendly; pubs and chain restaurants are a good bet, and yes, take the pram in. When we've been out with a newborn , we just ask to have a table with space around it for the pram. And worst case scenario, be prepared to leave if baby really does kick off. I found they just sleep and feed so young so hopefully you'll be fine!

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 06/02/2020 10:20

Normally I’d say go for it. But not on Valentine’s Day, sorry. I’ve worked valentines days way back when I was a waitress and it was hectic, a baby would have been in the way and a potential hazard to the waiting staff. Not to mention the many other people who have booked a meal out on the fair assumption that there would be no children. I know that might not seem fair but I really wouldn’t do it. Can you have an early or late valentines and do it then instead? It would be less busy and you’re less likely to be in the way.

sarahjconnor · 06/02/2020 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Motacilla · 06/02/2020 10:24

It sounds like you would be more stressed than relaxed. Would you not have a nicer time getting a take away or even an M&S type meal for two?

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:25

@awkwardasallgetout

Why would people assume there will be no children? Genuine question.. unless they’ve specifically asked if it’s a child-free venue then why assume there will be no children. That’s just setting yourself up for a fall surely?

I can see your point in regards it being hectic. We could celebrate it early I guess.. it just would have been nice to celebrate it on the actual day.

OP posts:
AudacityOfHope · 06/02/2020 10:27

I would do the day before or after. Valentines Day is very specifically an adult occasion.

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 06/02/2020 10:28

Why? Because it’s Valentine’s Day. It was our busiest night of the year, each table was booked for at least two sittings. By couples. As is traditional on Valentine’s Day. We’d not have turned down a booking of a larger table I suppose, had it been requested in time, but as it was valentines we had a special, reduced menu and a higher price. Its like going somewhere on Christmas Day and expecting to get a seat and to pay the normal price. It just doesn’t happen.

Mumdiva99 · 06/02/2020 10:28

I would dona valentine's lunch or another day. It is one of the busiest services in the year and a restaurant that may on other occasions be very child friendly probably won't welcome your pram taking up space - or your car seat taking a chair that could be a paying guest.

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:29

@Motacilla normally I would say yes, but I’ve been stuck in unable to drive for 6 weeks by the time Valentine’s Day comes around so it would be nice to get out properly for the first time then.

We live in the sticks so I’ve literally been secluded to my house for 6 weeks, everywhere is too far To walk to so I’ve been waiting for Sunday’s to come around so DP can take us somewhere, even then I can do too much without my incision getting sore.

I’m sure we’ll figure something out

OP posts:
SproutMuncher · 06/02/2020 10:29

Yeah I think Valentine’s Day people will be out for romantic meals and won’t be thrilled about a baby - maybe if you don’t want to do the day before or after, if you went earlier at maybe 6ish rather than 7/8ish when the couples will be out in force?

Seeline · 06/02/2020 10:30

Unless it really is just an ordinary pub, or a Harvester type place, I really wouldn't expect there to be children in a restaurant on Valentines Night. It's for couples. It's the one night when you can escape your own children - I wouldn't want anybody else's there.

I think awkward has a good point about safety as well. Restaurants always seem to squeeze an extra few tables in on valentine's and I would be worried about something hot being dropped in the confined a busy space.

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:31

I’ve always been included in my parents Valentine’s Day. We got a card and chocolates from my parents every year and celebrates together. I suppose I’ve never really seen it as a specific adult occasion. I love my family, which isn’t just my DP anymore..

I find it weird that people see it as a adult only holiday.

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 06/02/2020 10:33

Just because your family is like that it doesn’t mean it’s the same for others.
I really wouldn’t take a baby out on Valentine’s Day evening

puds11 · 06/02/2020 10:33

I feel for you @Yickety you must feel very isolated at the moment. I would however recommend doing a meal on a less busy day as it quickly becomes quite stressful with a little baby and lots of people.

heartsonacake · 06/02/2020 10:35

Valentine’s Day is for adults, specifically adults in couples. It’s a day of romantic love. Children don’t play a part in that.

I think it would be selfish and inappropriate of you to encroach on such a specifically adult occasion with a baby.

INeedNewShoes · 06/02/2020 10:35

You will have a more positive experience on literally any other day of the year than Valentine’s Day.

Staff will be rushed off their feet whereas on another day they’ll probably make a fuss of baby.

Other diners, on Valentine’s Day, are there to focus on each other and I think will be less receptive to having a baby sitting next to them.

I have eaten out with DD in toe a lot since she was born and had really good experiences but I really would feel it was taking the piss to take her to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day.

SproutMuncher · 06/02/2020 10:35

You find it weird people see Valentine’s Day as an adult only holiday? It’s a celebration of romantic love.

I love my family too but that’s not what Valentine’s Day is about.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 06/02/2020 10:37

Pub yes.
Restaurant full of couples no.

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 06/02/2020 10:37

It’s odd to start a thread like this if you’re not going to actually take on board advice. Like I said, as a waitress a baby is a hazard. A pram will be in the way and a baby in a car seat in a chair is so so dangerous, please no one do this. I’m lucky that the worst I ever did was drop mussels on someone’s leather trousers when I was bending down to serve them. I’m glad my boss picked up the dry cleaning bill. I can’t imagine how awful it would be for everyone if something was dropped on a baby. On a busy night like valentines we put extra tables in an already small space, and had extra waitresses in, In our case the teen girls who sometimes did weekends. You will be in the way. I totally get the desperate need to get out, I have an almost 10 month old who has never slept longer than a 2 hour stretch in her life. I’m desperate for a night out. But not this year. It’ll be me and dh At home with whatever quick meal we can snatch before she wakes up again. It might feel like a raw deal, but welcome to parenthood.

happydays00 · 06/02/2020 10:38

Agree with pp who say it will be more enjoyable for you on almost any other evening. Ultimately it's up to you but I wouldn't be surprised if you do get people giving you some glares if your baby does kick off.

Congrats on your baby though and I hope you have a good evening whatever you decide to do.

Sammi38 · 06/02/2020 10:39

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of romantic love between 2 partners, it’s not about the children.

(I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I just find it one big rip off, but appreciate that others do enjoy and celebrate it).

You may find it weird that it’s seen as an adult celebration, but I really think you’re in the minority for that one.

It’s up to you if you take your baby, but bear in mind it may be more stressful for you than taking them out another night.

AudacityOfHope · 06/02/2020 10:39

Oh that's really sweet Smile but almost every couple who goes out for a meal on VD is doing so specifically to celebrate adult romantic love.

They really don't want to have to smile politely while your baby cries.

You can pick any other night, why not just take on board what people are suggesting?