Baby in restaurant etiquette.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

I know Valentines Day is next week but could you give it a trial run somewhere this weekend so you know the lay of the land & the best logistics for you - and how your LO is in a busy, noisy environment? Because it will be very busy and noisy on the night.

Oh dear. Going to be one of those parents, aren't you?

Just wait until, a few months down the line, you're off out for some much deserved one on one time with your DH. You won't feel it now, while baby is new, but in a while you will crave just an hour or two for yourselves where you're your own person again, a couple again, not just Mummy and Daddy.

Wait until you book a nice table, arrange childcare, actually do your hair and make up, stick a nice frock on and arrive at the restaurant - only to find a gooey new set of parents sat next to you with their newborn.

I promise, you'll be less than happy. And that won't even be in a day when it's 'supposed' to be for adults!

We've taken both our newborns out for dinners and lunches we tend to pick family friendly venues even if we're not taking the 7yr old too. Both our newborns (now 18 months and 3 months) have been really settled and mostly slept through. If they we acting unsettled prior to going we just cancel so not to be annoying to other customers. If they get upset while there we go straight outside so not to disturb too many people.

If we've walked and we know there is space we take pram and if we drive we take the carry cot and ask for space when booking for the carry cot (usually ask for a booth)

Oh you mean I understand that stupid phrase.
Yes, only from being on here. Nobody would be so thick as to use it real life.

Even before kids we would go out the day before Valentine’s Day.

It’s awesome - no shitty reduced menu for three times the price, no couples trying to out romance each other, no extra tables rammed in so you’re banging elbows with the neighbouring couple.

I wouldn’t have any issue with a baby being in the restaurant but some people are arseholes 🤷‍♀️ and a buggy really would get in the way in most places when they cram in extra tables

Taken all of mine out for dinner starting from a few days old. Usually take the pram, just had the one place say no pram so took the car seat in. Once older some places ask to leave the pram by the door whilst the baby sits in a high chair. Enjoy, it's probably the best age to take them out, once older they can start to get a bit noisier.

What tiddler said.......

*Also? For those who are bashing me for ‘asking for advice then not taking it’ .. please refer back to my OP. My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I specifically asked for how I should take her*

Well don't post in AIBU then if you're genuinely a new mum just looking for tips on how to transport your baby into a restaurant on commercially driven crappy Valentine's Day.

It's coming across as you don't want answers, just a bored person after a pointless bunfight on the Internet.

I'd go day before or day after, valentine's night will be really busy. Any reason why it has to be that night?
I would, and have, taken baby in a car seat and put them on the floor under the table. Then they can't be in anyone's way.

Unless it's a place where you know there is plenty of room to park a pram next to a table and people still be able to walk around freely. And I'd never ever put a car seat on a chair, way too dangerous, car seat could get knocked off the chair or something hot or heavy dropped or spilled on baby. On floor under the table neither of those things will happen.

We took both ours out for lunch/early dinner regularly from a few days old. We sometimes took the pram, if we knew if was a large restaurant with lots of space/quiet time of day. If not we’d take baby in a sling. We had some wonderful meals and baby rarely made a noise - if they did then they were fed and went back to sleep. From 3 months ish we started getting babysitters instead as they couldn’t be trusted not to make loads of noise. Now we tend to go to family friendly places at lunchtime only!!

I think is perfectly reasonable to take them out with you, but agree VD isn’t the right time to do it. Be kind to yourselves. Go the day before/after and you’ll have more room, be less stressed and it will be cheaper.

Also have no idea why you’re not driving for 6 weeks - nonsense advice. I live rurally and was driving at 2 weeks both times. Would have gone mad staying at home for 6 weeks!

I would personally avoid going for a meal on Valentine's Day itself, but for different reasons than worrying about the little one ... the venues are likely to be rushed off their feet and so service likely to be poor and food not as good as other days and also you will pay through the nose for it.

For these reasons, I would avoid it like the plague and go on a less busy day where everything will be laid back and you can have a lovely time.

I would take her in a pram if the restaurant can accommodate it, they’re not really meant to spend loads of time in car seats that young and it will mean you can relax a bit.

I know you want to go out on valentines itself but I would strongly advise you to consider another date. I just think you’ll be on edge worrying about disturbing other people and it would be much less pressured on another date.

For the record I think valentines is mostly for teenagers but I’m up for any excuse for a nice meal

Personally OP, I would go any other day than Valentine's Day given all of the above reasons people have posted. It will just be so stressful for you and your DP when it should be an enjoyable evening. Even if your baby is sound asleep, you are likely to get comments and looks from other diners who were rightly or wrongly expecting adults only.
However, if you really want to, I would go with a pram, make the restaurant aware and ask for a table out of the way.

We used to just carry DS in his car seat and he always slept right throughout the meal.

Good God in high heaven. We’re talking about a five-week-old, not a mobile or vocal or on-solids older baby. They don’t generally make that much or even any disturbance. If they do, a reasonable parent takes them out.
I would not be confident that a parent who thinks Valentine's Night is a great time to take a baby to a restaurant would be inclined to be reasonable about disturbing others.

But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?
Ok then, you would need to take the pram as it is not advisable to have such a small baby in a car seat for prolonged periods of time, nor is it advisable to put a car seat on a chair. Make sure you ask if it will be possible to bring a pram when booking as not all restaurants allow prams and many certainly won't on Valentines day when space is at a premium.

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated.
You have received a lot of great advice on this thread, but seem unwilling to take it. Remember that sittings are very common and if you arrive 20 minutes late due to baby needing a last minute change before leaving (or maybe that was just my DC), you will still have to leave your table at the allocated time. Also, both of mine were delights, but collicky at 6weeks old.

Not sure if the PP is new to mumsnet or what but I haven’t posted in AIBU... I’m in Chat.

So, OP, you say you’re a first time mum and are terrified of looking like an idiot, yet are going to go out on Valentine’s Day with your baby.

Yes, you will look like an idiot simply by dragging your baby out with you on Valentine’s Day and ruining everyone else’s night.

If you’re happy with everyone else thinking you’re selfish, with receiving glares from other diners all night, being in the way of waiting staff, and able to cope with the idea that nobody wants you and your baby there, go right ahead.

It will be a miserable and stressful experience for you, but you seem determined anyway.

Take the pushchair. The car seat is not suitable. Ask them to move any other chairs off the table and park her up alongside. Sorted. You’re welcome

@tiddlerthefish Just wait until, a few months down the line, you're off out for some much deserved one on one time with your DH. You won't feel it now, while baby is new, but in a while you will crave just an hour or two for yourselves where you're your own person again, a couple again, not just Mummy and Daddy. Wait until you book a nice table, arrange childcare, actually do your hair and make up, stick a nice frock on and arrive at the restaurant - only to find a gooey new set of parents sat next to you with their newborn.

I hope the newborn in this scenario can do those spectacular projectile vomit arcs.

Yes op, some people are being ridiculous on this thread. I have 3 children all taken out at least once a week from birth until now. If your baby is content, as all mine were, then you will be fine.
Some of you on this thread are being quite harsh on a new mum - she's talking about going down to the local pub, not for a Michelin star tasting menu.

You could choose any other night to have your first meal out, but you choose probably the busiest night of the year, and the only one that is unofficially an ‘adults’ occasion. Seems a little attention seeking to me.

I have a 5 week old and 2.5 year old. I have been for several lunches and dinners since the 5 week old was born ( making the most of maternity leave!) There is no need to stay in the house or go to rubbish Wetherspoon-esk places when u have a baby. Go where u like, if the baby cries have the milk ready, ( if breast feeding and dont want to on public express b4 you go , that's what I do and I feel more confident when out) take baby out of restaurant if crying until they calm. Choose somewhere noisy and you know has plenty of room for pram. It'll be fine!

Take the pram. Logically you know about car seat safety.. time limits.. not placing them on a bloody raised surface.. common sense stuff.

I’d go early if it has to be Valentine’s Day, I wouldn’t want half hammered punters acting the twat around a baby in a pram.. risk of spills or people bumping into the pram or being loud and inducing a nice over tired scream fest from said tiny human.

But fuck it if you don’t mind eating expensive cold food while nursing your distressed child with a face like beetroot or a red wine stained pram from the clumsy drunk trying to squish past in the packed room go ahead with the dinner service.. we all learn somehow.

My baby was 4 weeks old last valentines day, I think we went for a bite to eat at our local Cote (French chain) during the day with our baby who just lay in our arms but I wouldn't have gone out at night personally and we are very friendly with the local restaurants. As PP said the restaurants will be busy so it's not ideal to have your pram.

Can't you do something in the day and just make a lovely dinner or takeaway on the evening?