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Original poster

Baby in restaurant etiquette.

305 replies

YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 10:14

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 06/02/2020 10:42

It's my birthday on Valentine's day.
I would take the kids out but stuck firmly to the 9.99 or less for a main course type places.

Emmacb82 · 06/02/2020 10:42

I agree and think that Valentine’s Day isn’t the best time to go out for your first meal. The idea sounds nice, but in reality the places are going to be packed, you will feel stressed when there is no proper room for your baby, if your baby gets really worked up (as they tend to do when you need them to behave) and the whole thing could end up as a disaster. Obviously none of that might happen but I have been out with plenty of expectations of a lovely night and ended up stressed to the hilt and wish I hadn’t bothered.
My boy is now 3 and I wouldn’t dream of taking him with me for a valentines meal, obliviously a toddler is different to a newborn but I think most people would expect to be out with their partners and not have children there.
I would try your first meal out on a quieter night as it doesn’t matter so much if it goes a bit wrong! And maybe just get a nice takeaway in for valentines x

MyDcAreMarvel · 06/02/2020 10:43

@YicketyYackMamasBack
but I’ve been stuck in unable to drive for 6 weeks by the time Valentine’s Day comes around so it would be nice to get out properly for the first time then.
Why can’t you drive? The can’t drive for six weeks after a section is a dated , can can drive when you feel able to do an emergency stop.

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Geneshish · 06/02/2020 10:43

Just go. Valentine's is no busier than any other night that is fully booked. Nobody cares that a tiny baby is there unless shes screaming for ages which presumably you won't let happen. It's not like you have a toddler who is going to get food everywhere or run riot in the restaurant. It's only a matter of time til you do so enjoy these occasions while you can. Check with the restaurant first and ask for a table with space for a pram at the side.

Adviceplease1234 · 06/02/2020 10:43

What about going somewhere like Pizza Express? I would expect there to be a few families there.

MsChatterbox · 06/02/2020 10:44

I'm all for babies being included but I agree with PPs just go for a meal either the day before or after. If anything then just for your worries. Personally I would be worried about ruining a very special date for all the couples in the restaurant. Whereas I wouldn't be worried about that on a normal day.

ColumbaPalumbus · 06/02/2020 10:46

Even if the restaurant lets you in you might be setting yourself up to really upset the other diners. It's literally the only night of the year that I wouldn't bring a baby/child.

GreenBasket · 06/02/2020 10:46

Oh Christ no, not Valentine's Day.

I am not a Valentineser myself but I'd say it's the one night of the year that an adult couple could rightly so get royally pissed off with a crying baby in a restaurant, or pub for that matter.

You cannot possibly predict how a baby that small will act while you're out.

Choose literally any other night.

PinkDaffodil2 · 06/02/2020 10:47

Certainly take the pram not the car seat - if you’re lucky she will sleep for some of the meal. I agree with PPs though that valentines is probably the worst evening of the year (maybe second to NYE) to go out with a baby!
Restaurants will be absolutely packed - less room for the pram and if you need to get up to settle baby. The bathrooms will be busier (check changing facilities too) and it will be noisier. Car park full etc. We went out to a few times around the 2-3 month mark and things like this make a bigger difference than you’d expect.
You want a relaxing evening out - I’d pick a quiet weekday to celebrate.

RatherBeRiding · 06/02/2020 10:48

Valentine's Day meals etc are for couples - not families surely? If I was to book a VD meal I would assume all the other diners would be couples and they wouldn't be bringing their children along!

Personally a baby sleeping peacefully in a pram wouldn't bother me in the slightest although I might be a bit put off my meal if baby was acting up given that I wouldn't expect children at a Valentine's meal.

DioneTheDiabolist · 06/02/2020 10:54

OP you have picked one of the worst nights of the year for a relaxing meal with a baby. Most restaurants are rushed, over priced, operate reduced menus and have sittings, so you must leave your table for a certain time. Not great if baby fusses and needs settled/changed/fed while you're there. Most places set up for couples, with extra tables, so there doesn't tend to be much spare room.

If you really want a relaxing, enjoyable time, go out for lunch or chose a different date.

Chloemol · 06/02/2020 10:57

You find it weird that Valentines Day is adult only? It’s always been for partners to share, Blythe opportunity for a large family meal!

Also I get your desire to get out but honestly choosing a day like Valentine’s Day, normally couples only to take a newborn out in the evening! I find that weird

By all means go out, do you you want, but if I was in a restaurant, couple time only and someone came in with a baby I would expect it to be taken out of the room the minute it started to cry. It’s adult time, kids would have been left at home

TheTeenageYears · 06/02/2020 10:58

Valentines Day is generally not a great night to go out in my experience. Tables are often so close to each other because larger tables have been broken down into 2’s rather than 4’s or 6’s. Everyone wants a perfect evening. Waiting staff are over stretched and so are kitchen’s. If there’s a set menu it’s very often over priced. I really wouldn’t add a baby into all that OP. If it’s possible to go out for lunch that might be better - it’s still Valentine’s Day after all and surely you are knackered come the evening with a tiny one anyway. You can do all the hearts and flowers stuff at home if you want to make it a family celebration.

MarthasGinYard · 06/02/2020 10:59

At our local Gastro pub the bar lady was saying the other day it's all tables of 2 on Valentine's Day.

Personally I hate going out on valentines for food it's too tacky.

We used to take Dd out really early but where we knew we could easily fit pram or carrier and be prepared to cut it short if need be.

I'd trial another time personally

tenlittlecygnets · 06/02/2020 11:01

Another no, I'm sorry. You can choose literally any other day of the year. Why not go out for lunch the day before instead?

Sexnotgender · 06/02/2020 11:03

I’ve worked valentines days way back when I was a waitress and it was hectic, a baby would have been in the way and a potential hazard to the waiting staff.

I’ve worked it too, it’s far from the busiest day of the year and we managed them with children. Why is VD different.

WindFlower92 · 06/02/2020 11:11

You said you normally go out on Sundays - just go out on Sunday 16th?

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 11:13

we’ll plan to do something the day before in that case.

Genuinely am baffled people would be so offended by a baby though. What a world to live in, how sad.

OP posts:
DarkLikeVader · 06/02/2020 11:14

I would take a five week baby but in a sling as they’re more likely to stay asleep there 😊 could you eat out at lunch time though? You’ll feel less judged if she decides it’s not for her and she howls at lunch time (I did similar with 5 week old DS and he slept beautifully for us in the sling while we enjoyed a fancy lunch!)

MarthasGinYard · 06/02/2020 11:16

'Genuinely am baffled people would be so offended by a baby though. What a world to live in, how sad.'

I don't think anyone would be 'offended'Confused

Posters have just advised it may not be the best day/eve to pick

Original poster
YicketyYackMamasBack · 06/02/2020 11:16

Ah yes, I’ve said I wouldn’t want to ruin anyone’s night but we wouldn’t book a late table anyway, maybe 6pm at the absolute latest.

I have a 5 week old baby. I would be sleeping in my dinner if I booked a evening table 🙃

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 06/02/2020 11:18

I would be seriously unimpressed if I was out for a nice romantic meal with my husband and someone brought their baby out to the same pub

Also it's a pub and it's night, it's for adults. Please don't ruin my night.

Mumdiva99 · 06/02/2020 11:19

No one is offended by a small baby. But some things are suitable for kids, some aren't. A restaurant on Valentine's evening isn't.

UterusesBeforeDuderuses · 06/02/2020 11:20

I personally get dont why people are so weird about Valentine's Day. If I wanted to go out for food then with my DH and baby, I would, but I would definitely go at a less busy time as it will be packed, either early/late lunch, or very early dinner

Mlou32 · 06/02/2020 11:20

I don't think folk will be offended. Its just that it's nice to have that one day that's all about couples going out and being able to relax in a child free environment without kids/babies screaming.