Baby in restaurant etiquette.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

Me and DP would like to go out for a meal for Valentine’s Day, and we would like to take DD.
We haven’t been out for food with her yet as I had a c section and she is only 5 weeks old at the moment. But we have been for short walks, trips round shops and into costa for a coffee.

She’s very content, not very fussy at all.. although that could well change in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully she’s still like this for Valentine’s Day as it would be really nice to take her out but I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else’s meal with a screaming baby.

My main concern is how we actually take her? I’ll double check with wherever we book they allow children and explain we have a newborn.
But do we take the whole pram in, and just leave her in the pram to sleep, or do we just take the car seat in and put her on a chair in the car seat?

I’m a first time mum and I’m terrified of looking like an idiot, so any advice would be much appreciated 🙈

I find it weird that people see it as an adult only holiday
It's not a holiday. It's an occasion created by card companies to sell cards and tat. By all means go out for a meal with your baby but if you're genuinely worried about upsetting other diners, go at a time when it's less busy such as the day before/earlier in the evening. The actual date really does not mean anything.

The only person "offended" here is you OP because you're not being told what you want to hear.

A seven week old baby shouldn’t be in a car seat for more than two hours

Current advice is half an hour.

We’ve eaten out with our now 3 year old a lot, but usually just when we were out and didn’t want to go home and cook. Whenever we wanted a really nice meal we didnt go out - get a nice takeaway and an actual expensive bottle of wine (as opposed to a £30 bottle in a restaurant that actually costs a tenner). Put on music we like, and not have to worry about the anything. SO much more relaxing than the alternative. (Even beats a baby sitter as you don’t need to worry about what they’re up to!).

I think the trouble is, when you’re in newborn heaven, especially with your first, you expect everybody else to be as excited to see your perfect little baby as you are. No one is going to be offended by your baby, that’s ridiculous. But most people, especially those with children find it hard to get any child free time. And if they have planned to do something special on Valentine’s Day, it’s not that unreasonable to presume that it would be pretty much child free that night. I don’t celebrate it, you should both make the effort every single day, not just when a date on the calendar tells you.
But anyway, my other post was actually looking out for you. In your head, you have a romantic evening planned, out for dinner for the first time and escaping out of the house. All sounds very nice. But add to that a busy pub, a screaming baby and your expectations going out of the window - not so nice. No one is saying you can’t go out, just that it would be a better experience all round if you went on a different night x

I live in London and took mine out for dinner from 5 days old either in a baby sling or pram . Never had a problem . Enjoy your Valentine’s Day .

Lunchtime in a pub sure take the baby. Actual restaurant on the evening - no.

Alternatively get yourselves down McDonalds and spend the £50 you saved on three or four bottles of booze with some tunes at home. It’ll be a lot more fun.

@ INeedNewShoes - nope it’s definitely 2 hours from 6 weeks. But if you get a lie flat or near lie flat option then you can keep them in there for longer

Check with the restaurant and if they’re happy then go for it, there’s no etiquette. I would say choose any of the 364 days in a year that aren’t Valentine’s Day though.

You know you don't need to wait six weeks to drive unless there's a medical need, don't you? My insurer required GP sign off but I got that on day 11 after my section. Most insurers let you self-certify. I just wanted to make sure you are aware as you mention being isolated.

We always took our newborns out with us and it was just a case of popping the car seat next to mine or DH's legs. If you ask for a corner table or something out of the way you will probably have a little space to put her. Just be prepared to get her out the restaurant quickly if she starts crying so as not to upset other diners. Or better yet, if you're breastfeeding, wear something breastfeeding friendly and something like a wrap that you can pop her in for a feed while you eat. DD1 hates us eating and the second she knew dinner was served she'd create Merry hell so feeding her when I ate was the only thing I could do.

simple answer - ring up restaurant & ask -

& ps it would never have worried me (bigger dc who run riot however or adults who talk with a mega phone about their private lives & do it on their mobile)

Good God in high heaven. We’re talking about a five-week-old, not a mobile or vocal or on-solids older baby. They don’t generally make that much or even any disturbance. If they do, a reasonable parent takes them out. Nobody has a fucking monopoly on going out to a restaurant on bloody Hallmark Day; the dictatorial attitude of most on this thread is utterly ridiculous.

Yackity, if you’re going to take your baby out if they kick off then you are every bit as entitled to go somewhere that will accommodate you at whatever time will make you happy. If anyone actually feels their meal or experience will be ruined because they had to get a babysitter and there is a tiny baby in their line of sight then they need to give their head a wobble.

I agree with @UhKevin. Restaurants are open to the public and anyone can book a table. Couples do not own valentines night.

I have taken my kids out on valentines night before because we were at an event and it suited us to eat out afterwards. The couple at the table next to us got engaged, it was lovely!
Next week I'll be taking DC2 out for dinner as we're away for the weekend and need to eat.

Check the restaurant is child friendly and have a lovely time OP.

I love MN.

"Hello I need some advice"

advice

"NO NOT THAT ADVICE YOU'RE ALL SO HORRIBLE"

Also, St Valentine is the patron saint of epilepsy and beekeeping so enjoy your day.

I don't see a problem, we took our 3 week old DD to a nice steakhouse on NYE and we timed her feeds so she was settled throughout the meal. We asked for a table with space for a pram and put the carseat in the pram base at the side of the table.

People are more understanding than you think, babies make noise, it can't be helped sometimes. Waiters were understanding and did everything they could to accomodate us even though it was one of the busiest days!

When I worked on a restaurant we used to spit larger tables up on Valentines to fit extra couples in so there may be less room for a pram.

I'd go on one of the days either side so it's less busy. It surely doesn't have to be on the one day does it?

My DS is 8 weeks old and evenings aren't a good time for us to be out. He feeds a lot and doesn't really settle between 5-8. We've been out for dinner once in a pub. We asked for a table in the corner, mostly for the peace of the other diners but also its cold/flu season and didn't want DS surrounded by too many strangers. Personally I would find a valentines dinner very stressful. Lunch is much more manageable for us, DS sleeps and we can relax.

I agree that it’s absolutely fine just not on Valentine’s Day. Sorry, do it the day after and celebrate in the house just you two on the 14th. I say that as a mother of 3 who regularly takes children out to eat, the day and the restaurant you go to our important when dining with kids

@UhKevin

They don’t generally make that much or even any disturbance

Hahahahahahahahahaha. You should have met my colicky son. Some babies don’t make any noise on a given evening. Some do. It’s a Lottery.

If they do, a reasonable parent takes them out

Operative word being “reasonable”, which lots of parents sadly aren’t.

Nobody has a fucking monopoly on going out to a restaurant on bloody Hallmark Day; the dictatorial attitude of most on this thread is utterly ridiculous

No, you’re being “ridiculous”. No one has said the OP can’t go or that there is a “monopoly”. No one has dictated anything. People have generally said it’s a) inconsiderate given it’s likely to be people who have got childcare for an adult evening given the date and b) may be more stressful for OP. Neither of those points mean the OP can’t go if she wants to - she asked for opinions on an Internet forum and she got them. It’s up to her if she goes or not. None of the dictators here are going to stop her.

If anyone actually feels their meal or experience will be ruined because they had to get a babysitter and there is a tiny baby in their line of sight then they need to give their head a wobble

No one has said that. Literally no one. The point is that even little babies aren’t always seen and not heard, and that’s fine, they’re babies. They cry. They vomit everywhere. they require their parents to walk round shh-ing them etc

I love babies, but if you honestly think that a newborn baby always goes unnoticed in a room, especially one trying to cultivate a romantic atmosphere, then you have been very lucky with your children and those babies you have spent time with. Plenty of newborn babies are disruptive and a lot of work.

Also please stop using that stupid 'give your head a wobble' shite, it means literally nothing.

I’d be really pissed off if I’d booked a table for dinner on Valentine’s Day and was seated next to a baby, even a tiny brand new one.

I love babies, I’ve had three. But Valentine’s Day is a ROMANTIC occasion for adults, and just about every venue offering dinner will be set up for couples, not couples and a few babies whether in slings, car seats or prams.

Go for a late lunch, or wait until Saturday.