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Original poster

I can't stop getting tearful, why are people so cruel?

114 replies

Refreshed · 03/02/2020 14:35

Standing in the kiosk queue in Asda yesterday. There were no trolleys (usually always is), so I was caught off guard as DS had no shoes on. I had a few bits to get. Store was closing within the hour. I carried DS around and had a basket. It was a heavy nightmare.

Paid at self service then needed to grab a drink so paid for it at the kiosk. There was one woman in front of me and the man on the till had to add change as they'd obviously run low. This man serving very obviously had some sort of issue, such as OCD. He had this thing where he had to put two coins in, tap the side then add more. He kept on doing this, clearly looking extrenely stressed, for at least 3/4 minutes.

The blokes being me started saying '' Hurry the fuck up! '' and '' what's he doing?! Fuck sake'' along with other stuff.

I was so cross I said to them to bloody well go and pay for their papers elsewhere if they have no patience, the shop won't shuck us out even if it turns to 40pm.

They said' 'we just want to get out of here ffs'

Anyway I finally got served and he said to me, very tearfully, thank you for that.

I couldn't even answer properly other than a smile. I rushed to my car, strapped DS in and sobbed my heart out.

Everytime I think of what happened, my heart sinks. And I start getting emotional.

Why are people so so cruel?

OP posts:

cjt110 · 03/02/2020 14:51

Sadly some people have no compassion, or patience for others.

Thank you for standing up to the man who swore.

potter5 · 03/02/2020 14:57

You are a very nice person.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 03/02/2020 15:21

I think people are getting used to speed. They're used to things appearing in front of them asap because computers and tech ate getting faster and faster so having to wait just a few minutes feels infuriating. Also, we're encouraged now to think of noone but ourselves and of saving ourselves time and effort and barking direct orders at inanimate objects (e.g. Alexa turning the lights on for us) and is coming at a cost of social interaction which I think is leading us to be more selfish, less considerate and to see dealing with other people as a hassle.

Wheresthesandman · 03/02/2020 15:33

You were quite right to call them out on their behaviour, but is it possible that they couldn’t fully see what was happening? I can imagine that waiting for 3 or 4 minutes for someone to fill up a till is quite frustrating if you haven’t got the full picture.

I can’t say it would have made me sob my heart out in my car afterwards, but I like to think I would have done the same thing as you had I been in that situation.

LochJessMonster · 03/02/2020 15:34

Tbh that would have annoyed me. 3/4 minutes is actually a long time to wait for someone to put coins in a till.

LochJessMonster · 03/02/2020 15:35

Also not sure why it warrants sobbing.

michaelbaubles · 03/02/2020 15:38

I'd feel sorry for the assistant but it sounds like he's not the best suited person for the job, and it would be irritating to have to wait if you'd just nipped in, saw a short queue and then ended up waiting for ages.

Timmytoo · 03/02/2020 15:39

An old man with a walking stick was walking across the road at a traffic light. Because he was very slow the light turned green. There was only one car at the light. He was almost at the end. However, as soon as the light had turned green, the dri er hooted so much and rapidly that the old man got a fright and almost fell over. The driver just drove off without a second glance!

ChicChicChicChiclana · 03/02/2020 15:44

It wasn't a nice thing to witness but something must be up with you to cause you to cry so much over it. How are you feeling generally op?

Juliette20 · 03/02/2020 15:45

People are certainly impatient.

I buy train tickets for three days on a Monday and I always come ten minutes before the next train so that I have time. I'm quick and not hesitant, it just then takes time for the machine to print six bloody tickets. (If the train company allowed to to buy more than one ticket on your key card or did a three day a week season ticket, things would be different, but it isn't my fault). Nine times out of ten there is someone standing right over me, huffing and puffing.

dontgobaconmyheart · 03/02/2020 15:49

Sobbing seems a bit much OP, a lot of that narrative is conjecture - you don't know if anyone had OCD, you don't know what anyone else was thinking or their circumstances. Obviously vocalising impatience is rude and unkind but if what you say is true, it seems quite unreasonable for the man to have been put in the job role that he is in if he cannot perform it adequately without it causing distress.

Good for you for attempting to do the right thing as you saw fit, i'm sure most of us would- but do you not encounter worse out and about generally? People can be an awful lot crueller than complaining in a queue. Not sure I get the point of the thread - sorry.

Nonnymum · 03/02/2020 15:54

I agree with you OP. 3 or 4 minutes is nothing. People these days just want things to happen instantly. Well done for sticking up for her. We are living in a cruel intolerant society.

userxx · 03/02/2020 15:55

You're clearly a bit emotional at the moment. People can be twat's I agree.

Shoxfordian · 03/02/2020 16:34

You sound quite oversensitive op

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 03/02/2020 16:39

Also not sure why it warrants sobbing.

^this

tmh88 · 03/02/2020 16:46

I get this op. My dad has OCD whilst I understand it drives people insane he can’t help it and it gets him down that he has to do it! Things such as turning the light off/on a certain amount of times, putting a drink down a certain amount of times etc! People don’t understand it enough. However he wouldn’t cope in a job where that is what he had to do because literally if someone distracts him when he loses count he starts again.

gamerwidow · 03/02/2020 16:52

This is an over reaction to what happened. Yes it was sad if the man putting coins in felt harassed but this doesn’t really have anything to do with you.
To be fair to the other people you saw a tiny snapshot of them and you don’t know what stresses they are under either.
Are you ok? It’s an extreme reaction and i wonder if it’s upset about something else manifesting as a displaced anxiety. Take care

GroggyLegs · 03/02/2020 17:05

I think the readers who feel the need to put confused faces and have to tell OP that they 'dont understand' the sobbing, are bit like an online version of that man at the till.

How olds your DC OP? I was extremely sensitive to any kind of conflict after the birth of both my DC for about 12 months & would have reacted the same. It passed.

Ginfordinner · 03/02/2020 17:07

You sound lovely, but a little oversensitive.

BettyAll1 · 03/02/2020 17:23

Thank you for standing up for that man. I totally get the sobbing. That would be me for sure

MintyMabel · 03/02/2020 17:23

3 or 4 minutes is nothing

3 or 4 minutes is a long time to be waiting in a queue where nothing is happening. You could serve 5 or 6 customers at a kiosk in that time.

If someone is unable to serve customers quickly, then another task should be assigned.

TheMemoryLingers · 03/02/2020 17:29

It sounds as though the shop is to partly blame for putting the cashier in that position - they should make reasonable adjustments, e.g. someone else fills till when busy; he shuts down his till completely when it needs replenishing. I can understand people feeling impatient but swearing was unkind and unreasonable when he clearly couldn't help the situation.

Urkiddingright · 03/02/2020 17:29

People are impatient arseholes and they expect everything to be instantaneous. It explains why there’s so many arsehole drivers on the road too, they can’t possibly wait around for an extra few seconds or minutes- heaven forbid.

PepePig · 03/02/2020 17:54

Why on earth are you crying?

Tbf I can see why they were annoyed, and the shop shouldn't have had him in that scenario. Not his fault but could have easily been avoided.

Blackbear19 · 03/02/2020 18:02

I can see why you were annoyed but I can also see the frustration of the man in front.

3-4 mins is a long time to put money in a till and not be serving. 3-4 mins could be the difference between the man in front catching the bus / train home.

You have a snapshot of taking pitty on somebody taking an age. And somebody else getting frustrated you don't know what else that person needed to do!

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