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Original poster

I can't stop getting tearful, why are people so cruel?

114 replies

Refreshed · 03/02/2020 14:35

Standing in the kiosk queue in Asda yesterday. There were no trolleys (usually always is), so I was caught off guard as DS had no shoes on. I had a few bits to get. Store was closing within the hour. I carried DS around and had a basket. It was a heavy nightmare.

Paid at self service then needed to grab a drink so paid for it at the kiosk. There was one woman in front of me and the man on the till had to add change as they'd obviously run low. This man serving very obviously had some sort of issue, such as OCD. He had this thing where he had to put two coins in, tap the side then add more. He kept on doing this, clearly looking extrenely stressed, for at least 3/4 minutes.

The blokes being me started saying '' Hurry the fuck up! '' and '' what's he doing?! Fuck sake'' along with other stuff.

I was so cross I said to them to bloody well go and pay for their papers elsewhere if they have no patience, the shop won't shuck us out even if it turns to 40pm.

They said' 'we just want to get out of here ffs'

Anyway I finally got served and he said to me, very tearfully, thank you for that.

I couldn't even answer properly other than a smile. I rushed to my car, strapped DS in and sobbed my heart out.

Everytime I think of what happened, my heart sinks. And I start getting emotional.

Why are people so so cruel?

OP posts:
Deandra46 · 03/02/2020 20:34

@Shoxfordian I'm dying here 😂
On a serious note, you sound lovely OP. Thank you for standing up for the man

NoProblem123 · 03/02/2020 20:42

Good for you !
I hope I’d say something along those lines if ever in the same situation, the more people that call out cruel and shitty behaviour - the better ⭐️

MintyMabel · 03/02/2020 20:43

makes me sad for people like my ds and others with SEN who I know would panic in that situation with people making nasty comments

The problem there would be with an employer who puts him in that situation.

MintyMabel · 03/02/2020 20:45

And I'm sure her DS will be perfectly fine. Parents cry too sometimes.

Odd to pretend a toddler could witness it and be absolutely fine with it. I know mine would have been really upset.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 03/02/2020 20:48

Who is pretending? I said will be.

If he was upset at the time I'm sure OP was able to comfort him and deal with it.

MimiLaRue · 03/02/2020 20:50

This was the shop's fault. Why on earth would they put this guy in a public facing position if he has this issue? Surely they can see this is causing him distress? he'd be far better stacking shelves or helping in the warehouse with stock than in that role.
Yes, those people waiting were rude, but when you are in a hurry or on your lunch hour, its ridiculous to put someone serving at the till who has to complete various rituals and compulsions before serving people- of course thats going to be annoying and what happened was inevitable. This is entirely the shop's fault for putting him in a position which was completely inappropriate for his needs.

5zeds · 03/02/2020 20:55

The answer to “disability” isn’t to exclude those people it’s to INclude them by exercising a little compassion and patience.

MoonlightMistletoe · 03/02/2020 20:55

Some of you are arseholes.

The fact the person thanked you clearly demonstrates that he felt shit from the other people shouting at him, you were aware of his feelings and were sensitive and acknowledged them.

You are a kind person and unfortunately there arnt as many people like you around than there should be.

pauapaua · 03/02/2020 20:56

Well done for standing up to the person behind you. I don't think it is that unusual to be tearful after something like that, I think your adrenaline goes up when you are dealing with it and then when it suddenly drops you can feel more emotional.

MoonlightMistletoe · 03/02/2020 20:59

It's not the shops fault, the only people at fault were the impatient arseholes.

AntiSocialInjusticePacifist · 03/02/2020 21:00

It's a pity you don't see the overwhelmingly positive side of humanity shining out from that story. You.

Well done, and good for you.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 03/02/2020 21:03

Well done for standing up for him Op - it would’ve upset me too.

DressingGown · 03/02/2020 21:17

Exactly what @5zeds said.

There’s some Depressing intolerance on this thread.

heyjude12 · 03/02/2020 21:18

Actually OP that scenario would upset me. We all react in different ways. I would be angry and really upset but would shout and glare. Crying is valid when such unkind behaviours occur Flowers

goldfinchfan · 03/02/2020 21:30

I used to react like you OP....and was often told that I am oversensitive as if I was committing a crime!

Many years later I find out that people like I us are known as an Empath, or simply HSP...Highly Sensitive People
And guess what it is how we are.

Tell yourself and other "this is how I am " and check out empath and HSP books cos it really helps to have the validation.

chickpea1234 · 03/02/2020 22:13

You are an empathetic person. I am like this too. People are awful a lot of the time 😒

zwellers · 03/02/2020 22:54

The shop was wrong for putting that employee in the position they did as if I had been in the queue it would have annoyed me too. I want to be in and out at a till not waiting whilst someone does a ritual with coins.. 3/4 minutes is ridiculous.
And you sound like a drama llama. You sobbed about this, how do you cope with proper tragedies.

CustomerCervixDepartment · 03/02/2020 22:59

It’s cruel of the corporation using his labour to put him on tills when he isn’t coping.
I have panic attacks when I’m ‘stuck’ in a queue of humans or traffic, so I couldn’t have tolerated this, I would have just left the shop, or gone to a functioning till though, not gobbed off like a piece of shit.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 03/02/2020 23:18

Maybe he doesn't want to be hidden in the stockroom or stocking shelves?

theflushedzebra · 04/02/2020 00:14

zwellers, and some others on this thread, OP, are not so empathetic. Never mind.

I would never shout or swear at someone who took a long time to count the change into their till. If I felt annoyance, because I was in a hurry or something, Id keep it to my bloody self. This is a fellow human being, doing a job serving people. Have some bloody respect.

mnthrowaway202020 · 04/02/2020 10:46

He can still work on tills, he just needed to radio for till support? As the queue was building.

saraclara · 04/02/2020 10:50

3 or 4 minutes is nothing.

Try setting a timer now. 3-4 minutes is actually a long time.

BohoBunney · 04/02/2020 11:18

I think it's quite apt that OP's post about a man being shouted at in his place of work, has ended with posters inferring that disabled workers should be 'out of the way' so they don't have to be inconvenienced by them and their disability. People's attitudes never fail to disgust me.

Original poster
Refreshed · 04/02/2020 17:21

I'm really saddened to see some many people rushing to say they'd be annoyed too, but failing to mention that even so, they'd keep it to themselves.

The guys behind me could clearly see the whole situation. For what it's worth, the wait was difficult holding a heavy toddler and shopping but I wouldn't have shown it. I just can't believe so many people are so so cruel

I saw him again this morning adding new stock to a few places, he smiled at me and waved. I waved back. I glad I made it a bit easier for him at least, even if the rude words had already happened.

For what it's worth I'm not a sensitive person normally and have to deal with the darker side of health services daily. Not sure why this particular incident struck a cord

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/02/2020 17:53

How did your toddler react OP?

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