Just made a massive fool of myself

[pyjamas89]

Walked out to the carpark with a colleague as Ieft the office this evening. Approaching my car noticed some bad damage to one side where someone has presumably driven into it. I was having a rant and my colleague was making the right kind of sympathetic noises. My colleague headed off and I then found I couldn't open my car door... Because it wasn't my car!

I'm switching between my cheeks burning to thinking it's hilarious to being delighted I won't have to pay to have it mended! Please come and make me feel less silly by regaling me with tales of your moments of making a fool of yourself?!

Years ago I popped into a shop and when I came out went back to my car, put the key in the lock to unlock it (no remote unlocking in those days). As the key turned I realised that it wasn’t locked and in turning the key I had locked it. Just then an old boy came over wondering what I was doing trying to break into his car! Apologising and red faced I realised that my car was the one behind and went to walk off. However, it transpired that the old boy had left his keys in the car (as I said, we’re talking years ago, wouldn’t want to do that these days) and consequently he couldn’t get into his car. As it had locked with my key we assumed that it would open too but no - I had locked him out of his car!
I ended up having to drive him home to fetch his spare key! Always made sure I’m at the right car ever since!

@itsemily. It reminded me of something from years ago before mobile phones. My friend and I had been to London and when we got off the train she rang her husband from the call box. She had quite an argument with whoever answered along the lines of
Who are you - why are you answering my phone?
Where’s my husband?
Women “this is (gives number)
My friend “that’s my number”
Woman “I’v had this number 20 years

She then said to me “What’s my phone number?”
Realising she had muddled the middle digits, all she could say was “That was my number, something odd going on”

All this from a normally sane pharmacist - she hated it if I ever mentioned it again

I went into a supermarket, came back out, got in the car effin and jeffin about the queues, it wasn't my DH car

Oh my, reading this thread has had my belly rolling and my eyes watering with laughter.

My most embarrassing moment was about 6 years ago, leaking through my clothes onto the 12in high wall i was sitting on when i had my first period after my 2nd child's birth. I had anticipated it coming heavier and so I was wearing a thick night towel, a tampon would've never stopped it. I'm talking Niagra Falls type of flow, they always had been up to that point. Anyhoo... the wall I was sitting on was outside my DC's school and was a favourite rendevous for parents waiting for pick-up time. A parent noticed I left my spot - I only stood up because period pains were killing me. Then the parent came rushing over, saying quite loudly, "OMG love, are you ok, do you need an ambulance?" There must have been ten other parents who simply stood and stared. She pointed to the blood patch on the wall. I looked, then felt the world swaying. I must have went as white as a snow (achievement as I'm mixed race!) as she then said, "Love, i think you should sit before you faint, I'll call an ambulance."
I had to then tell her no, please don't. I was begging. Then admitted what was happening. Oh my, was she helpful after that? She took me inside school and explained to the receptionist that I wasn't well and needed the loo, and asked if our children could wait in reception for us. Anyway, I went to the loo, tried to tidy myself up the best I could. The parent waited for me, talked me endlessly about how i needed my periods sorting out. My navy blue jeans were a mess but thank goodness they weren't white!
Our children were fine, they hadn't missed us. The parent who helped somehow got the caretaker to clean the wall. And she gave me and my DC a lift home, bless her! I was so grateful, not at all offended when she put down a plastic bag on the passenger seat either, she was apologising profusely!
Thanks to her helpful advice i got my periods sorted out too! I had to buy the parent a thankyou bouquet. An embarrassing afternoon that turned out ok in the end.

I walked the kids round to the school bus stop, chatting with other parents on the way, only to find when I got home that a bra had attached itself to my woolly scarf and had been swinging off my shoulder.

@Petlover9 this cheered me up thank you ! 🤭💕

Told my then Partner what I wanted from Burger King and sat down. He was getting the same, they were new limited edition burgers. We opened our burgers and mine was wrong. We'd had a long wait while the Staff had messed about, on phones etc. I marched up to the counter just as 'my' burger was being handed to someone. I snatched it and plonked my original one in her hand. Both server and customer stood completely still and looked slightly scared. Sat down, enjoying my burger picked up the receipt to work out what I owed my Partner. Yes, he'd got the order wrong and I'd stole someone else's, more expensive burger. I didn't go in again.

I've forgot what dryer I've put something in, in the laundrette, before and accused someone of taking my stuff. It was when I worked in a local off licence and had to serve the person three times a week.

There's been many a time I've panicked because I haven't been able to get back into my locker at the gym and swimming. Only to have the person whose locker it is ask me what the hell was I doing.

Before I admitted I really needed glasses, I've walked into men's toilets and kitchens.

@OldieButaGoodie somehow I missed your genuflecting story when you first posted it, cannot stop laughing!

@Tinaarena’s post reminded me of something that happened to me.

I’m a nanny, I looked after two 4 month olds from different families in a town 25 minutes from my home. I did a weekly food shop for the children in Waitrose (only supermarket in their town) did all my own shopping in Tesco near my home.

I moved to my work town after about a year, was shopping in Waitrose one day, wandered away from the trolley to pick up a few bits and pieces. Went back to the trolley, couldn’t see the children, complete panic!! Running around shouting ‘the babies?? Where are the babies??’ Had all of the supermarket running around looking for the children, police called, store in lock down when it dawned on me that it was Saturday, I was doing my own food shop and the children were safe at home with their parents. So embarrassing telling the store security that I made a mistake, slipped out when he went off to stand down police and make a tannoy announcement!

One of the children worked in the store as a teenager, she told me about the time someone caused mayhem, closing the store to find stolen children, he thought that someone was rather hungover! That was true!

26 years on I still refuse to go in there!

pyjamas89 - yup. I can laugh about it now. ;)

Not me but BIL was in the B & Q car park waiting for builder friend to pay his trade stuff, being given keys to his white van. While waiting he saw a dust pan and brush in the back and thought he'd have a quick clean up for him as he was doing some work for him at BIL house later(plastering). He then saw friend walking further along to another white van, he shouted out to him where are you going, friend said that isn't my van. Can you imagine a builder coming back to his work van and found it all swept and tidied. They made a quick exit!!

A stranger slapped my bottom recently. When we'd done laughing I walked outside the shop to find him recounting the story to his girlfriend, so we ended up laughing again.

I texted dp to say "kids all out. Empty house. Come home quickly" only to find I'd used the group text that dp and I had been communicating with our builder on... No he didn't turn up at the invite. Not sure whether to be pleased that the builder wasn't up for a threesome, or insulted.

Dad walked into a pub/hotel to see if they had available rooms on a road trip. Tripped up on the small step into the building, staggered arm's flailing a few feet, trying to regain his balance, and ended with his head in the cleavage of a woman sitting at the bar. The bloke with her stood up, all guns blazing ready to sort him out. It was only at the appearance of my sister who was following, that things calmed down.

ponoka my sister actually had the staff hacksaw the padlock off "Her gym locker" Of course when it revealed the clothes inside she remembered that her usual locker had been occupied that morning and she'd used another one.

@mbosnz Haha, I did that to a very confused Spanish man when we were on holiday. Worse thing was he didn’t speak a word of English so I couldn’t even apologise or explain why I was cuddling him 🤦‍♀️ DH still takes the mickey now and it was in 2001.

Oh and another one. When DS was about 2.5 he was running up and down the bus screaming his head off with me trying desperately to grab him. I finally grabbed him under my arm and walked back to my seat in front of a packed bus of at least 40 people to my flip up Seat. You’ve guessed it, in my stressed out state i’d forgotten it was a flip up seat and ended up on my arse on the floor. I could have cried with embarrassment and frustration. That bus ride seemed to take forever 🤦‍♀️

A bit squiffy in a pub and tottered off to the loo. It was not quite as clean as I would have liked, came out of my cubicle and saw a man at the urinals who made eye contact. I was telling my friend and he came up to me and whispered "tell her it's a big one" 😁

I was on my way back to the car after a long, stressful day at work and thinking about my wedding which was the following week - so tbf I had a lot on my mind!

Anyhow, as I am opening my door, a car pulls up beside me and a guy tells me someone just reversed into my car and pulled off. He had seen them, but not managed to get their number plate and suggested I look around the car for damage. He got out and we both searched but there didn’t seem to be any marks; I carried on looking while he gets in his car and pulls away. I then get in my driver seat and realise my laptop is ‘missing’. It takes me a minute, but I come to the conclusion that this helpful man has distracted me in order to steal my laptop.

I naturally phone the police and they take my details and arrange to send someone to the office the next day. I then phone my manager and explain and get lots of messages through the evening, saying not to worry as she has called IT and the necessary people to get everything shut down, just glad I am safe etc etc.

8am the next day, I walk into work and find my laptop sitting on my desk...where I had left it the night before

@Itswritteninthestars you may win the thread 😂 why do our brains do these things to us?!

Took cash out the bank then went into a shop and paid by card about to leave when told it's been declined, me being embarrassed tryingnitnover and over then realising!!!! Durrrrrrr! I just took the cash out the bank to pay by cash !!!
Lowers head tries to laugh it off . Couldn't get out the shop quick enough ! Lol

Nancy75 I understand that face "amnesia" as I get it too. When my DD was in Y2 we went to a PTA organised event at school. There was another parent there whose face was really familiar but out of context. I brassnecked it and asked where I knew her from and she said 'I was your DD's teacher in reception Oh yes, silly me!

I live in Southern Calif, USA....I decided to screenshot some of these hilarious posts to my sister in Atlanta, Ga. as she loves a good laugh....after reading them she reminded me of an incident that I caused many years ago. She was coming to Calif. so we could enjoy a sister's get-away without DC or DHs. We planned to go to a beautiful resort and luxuriate by the pool and take long walks on the beach....ordering take away so we wouldn't need to pack dress attire...think just swimming costumes and cover-ups..
I was a bit late meeting her at baggage reclaim plus she hadn't gotten there either because she needed a loo stop after her long flight. By the time we got to baggage reclaim the carousel had stopped and the few unclaimed bags were put off to the side....me, being my ever so helpful self told her I would collect her bag as her hands were full with her purse and carry-on.....I asked what her bag looked like ,"oh, it's the black soft one with wheels ..about a meter tall" . I grabbed it and off we went .We left our bags in the car when we arrived and we ran down to the beach for a nice long relaxing walk. We didnt collect our bags from the car park until very late afternoon.....when I pulled her bag out of the boot, she gasped, " oh no! That's not my bag!" Visions of her not having her brand new swimming costumes flashed through her mind...I said we should open the bag and see what was in it at least....as I pulled it out we noticed that this wasn't just any old bag from TKMaxx or Primark, but a beautiful TUMI BAG WORTH AT LEAST $600! As we unzipped it and rambled around , things got worse...I had nicked a posh businessman's bag full of Ferragomos black oxfords, cashmere jumpers and other Savile Row attire! ...close to several thousands of dollars worth! We had a big laugh as I was going to be spending our get-a-way in the city jail. Didn't give a seconds thought to the panic the poor posh guy felt when he opened HER bag and out popped women's bikinis with the TKmaxx tags still attached.
We headed back to the airport ( fortunately not very far away) to exchange the bags...later that evening when she called her DH to check in,(this was long before cell phones) he told of how the airlines had called her house several times that day trying to get it sorted. He had no way of knowing what to tell them and was hoping we hadn't sneaked off to Mexico to sell our grand haul on the black market. We were just happy to get her swimming costumes back and had a lovely weekend laughing our heads off about how I was ever so helpful
( To be fair, posh bag WAS black, soft-sided, had wheels, and was about a meter tall)

Great pot, the embarrassing thing I do on a fairly regular basis is swing my arms when I walk, I just can't help it. And yes, dependingbon what position my hand is in I either thump or cup mens genitals.

My Mum always told the tale of one really foggy morning in the 60s on her way to work. She couldn't see a hand in front of her, but there was a man heading in the right direction. She concluded he had to be headed to town so followed him. Imagine her surprise when she arrived at his pigeon shed.

I spent ages trying to get in the wrong car as well. In my slight defence it was a PT Cruiser and I could count on one hand how many were in the UK at the time, but there it was, identical and three spaces along from ours. DH was pissing himself.