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Original poster

Just made a massive fool of myself

199 replies

pyjamas89 · 30/01/2020 18:05

Walked out to the carpark with a colleague as Ieft the office this evening. Approaching my car noticed some bad damage to one side where someone has presumably driven into it. I was having a rant and my colleague was making the right kind of sympathetic noises. My colleague headed off and I then found I couldn't open my car door... Because it wasn't my car!

I'm switching between my cheeks burning to thinking it's hilarious to being delighted I won't have to pay to have it mended! Please come and make me feel less silly by regaling me with tales of your moments of making a fool of yourself?!

OP posts:
NYEdoctor · 30/01/2020 20:26

We were asked to a Xmas drinks party and I trooped in to a house with all 5 of my kids not knocking but striding straight in. Just before the front door my DH said ‘ are you sure this is the right house ‘ - ignoring him we marched in to find ourselves in The next door house and at their party. Tried to retreat in a sort of floaty way wishing the surprised hosts a happy Xmas except my 2 year old had made a bee line into their pink play room and I had to go in and extract her. Dragging her out and definitely not making a quiet graceful exit. I could Have died ...

Twillow · 30/01/2020 20:26

Thong velcroed to my trouser pocket. For 5 hours. At work.

Blearyeyes20 · 30/01/2020 20:30

I used to live in Wales and a friend was coming to visit me for the weekend, pre sat nav. Anyway she cheerfully rang me to tell me she was at “ gwasanaeth“ services and was I much further away?

gwasanaeth Is services in Welsh.

youvegottobekidding · 30/01/2020 20:35

Several years ago at a wildlife/zoo park. We (me, husband, dd & ds) walked up to go & look at the zebras. One of the males was very very excited to see us, cue quite a few women getting their mobiles out, when my son, who was about 5 at the time, pats me & shouts ‘have you seen the size of its willy? It’s huge!’

chocolateisavegetable · 30/01/2020 20:36

I answered the phone at work and the person wanted to speak to colleague A. A couple of minutes later the phone on the neighbouring desk rang, and that caller also wanted to speak to colleague A. I went off looking for colleague A - having forgotten that I'd just left her on the first phone that had rung Blush

justgivemewine · 30/01/2020 20:37

Done that too. Spent several minutes trying to open the car door, before realisation and slinking off to my car in exactly the same position but in the next double row of cars along.

Not long after I met dh we spent a good 15 minutes looking for his car in a multi storey, poor dh was getting really worried, his first car, until we realise we were on the wrong level.

I now have a large car in a colour that stands out among the standard greys and blacks, so even if I forget where I park it, I can still find it easily 😄

I also have a reputation for getting on the wrong bus. I now hate buses and one of my recurring nightmares is a variation of missing them/being unable to find the one I need etc.

Chichz · 30/01/2020 20:40

Great thread! @FallenAngel01, that is genuinely hilarious. I really want to know what sort of man says "madam", too, even in Waitrose?! Definitely need to pass that story on to my mother... x

81Byerley · 30/01/2020 20:40

I was in a card shop with my foster child, standing next to another customer. I looked down and realised that my little girl was pushing in front of the other customer, so I said "Come here, you are in this lady's way" And the MAN wearing yellow Rupert trousers thanked me....

Original poster
pyjamas89 · 30/01/2020 20:42

Thanks all, you've all made me chuckle with your tales of foolishness and I am glad it's not just me!

@Tinaarena your story really made me laugh - sorry!

And @Twillow I can't believe that noone told you! Did they tell you in the end or did you notice?!

OP posts:
AudTheDeepMinded · 30/01/2020 20:45

I was on a long haul flight. Dozed off and woke a few hours later. Started hunting around my seat and lap tray for my specs. Couldn't find them. Cabin was dimmed and people were asleep all around me. I got on my hands and knees and was feeling around on the floor trying to see if I'd dropped them, panicking, as I had no spare for my travels. Eventually a steward came along and enquired if everything was ok. On the verge of tears and explained I'd lost my glasses. Slight pause and then he said 'Are they the ones on your face?'

Franklymydearidontgiveadam · 30/01/2020 20:46

My partner and I have a thing where we say "falafels!" like donkey in Shrek says "waffles!"
One time in Tesco my partner excitedly picked up a pack of them and shouted "falafels" in a real Eddie Murphy style.... Why? Because he thought the woman stood next to him was me.

floordrobey · 30/01/2020 20:48

I once viewed two houses in the same street with my partner , The first house was beautiful, big and needed no work done to it. The second house was ok , bit smaller and needed a bit of work done the estate agent asked what I thought about the house my response was something like this ' oh my gosh , I love it , it's so much nicer then the one over the road wasn't keen on that house at all but this one I'm in love with ' she didn't say much and once we left the house she went back into the first house we viewed and then my partner goes oh yeah I thought I recognised her from her photos in the house we saw yesterday Blush

He never ever lets me forget it !

Wearywithteens · 30/01/2020 20:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 30/01/2020 20:56

I do this sort of stuff all the time, but most recently I nipped to the loo in the hairdresser, and then sashayed out, pleased with my new “do”. One of the beauty therapists was waiting for her client at the top of the stairs, and thankfully grabbed me to tell me my dress was hoiked into the back of my tights before I waltzed into the street, swishing my hair like Lady Muck.

ElsieMc · 30/01/2020 20:56

Oh no op. Car ones are just the worst. We moved to a new more upmarket (supposedly) neighbourhood. I was in a rush and parked my car outside my house. To my disbelief I saw an elderly man in a deerstalker hat trying the door to my car and frantically trying to get in. I rang my dh complaining that someone was trying to steal my car. I then ran out to confront him. I had left the handbrake off and the car was slowly rolling down the hill. He was trying to stop it.

An old lady used to block my drive when she went to a nearby hairdressers. I went down to confront her as she was having her hair permed. She got up to go and move it with her rollers still in. When we walked up the road together her car had gone. My ndn had got in it and driven it away because the silly woman always left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition. She acted completely unconcerned.

Beachcomber · 30/01/2020 20:57

We were away for the weekend with another family and we were following their car as they knew the way to the hotel. After a while they pulled over to the side of the road and we followed suit and got out of our car to go and speak to them except it wasn't our friends in the car.

We'd been following the wrong car for a while and the people we'd been following obviously thought we were total weirdos for stopping next to them and then going over to speak to them.

The driver politely wound down his window to see what we wanted and we just awkwardly mumbled "hello lovely day".

Our kids were HYSTERICAL.

Original poster
pyjamas89 · 30/01/2020 21:02

@Beachcomber "hello, lovely day" you've really got me with that one! 😅

OP posts:
jimmyjab · 30/01/2020 21:03

This thread is hilarious! I've also done many embarrassing things. When I was 14 I ran up to my friend at school and jumped on his back. Except it wasn't my friend!

I went to a christening years ago and afterwards went to chat to the priest without realising that the buttons on my dress were completely undone and I was flashing my tits at him! I never wore that dress again.

Beachcomber · 30/01/2020 21:04
Grin
icedgem85 · 30/01/2020 21:05

Once when I was a student, I was on my way home from a party, at 8am, on a busy commuter train full of actual adults. I had on a strapless dress, no bra, and some skimpy knickers. When I got up to get off, the sequins on my dress caught on the bottom of the seat and as I stood up - it fell down. Tits out, arse out, trying not to miss my stop and get away from all the onlookers, I gathered it up around my waist and ran off the train. Only to then be watched by a heap of people on the opposite platform while redressing myself. I still cringe whenever I think of it!! Does that help!?

MrsGolightyly · 30/01/2020 21:05

I once suggested a divorce party to a colleague after her decree absolute came through. She turned round and told me that she and the children all still really loved and missed him terribly. Blush

katseyes7 · 30/01/2020 21:07

l once spent about ten minutes trying to get into my car in the car park at Asda. Stood there raging because l had a trolley full of frozen stuff. The remote key wasn't working. Then l noticed a little pair of baseball boots hanging from the rear view mirror. My car was three spaces along.
On another occasion (Asda, but a different one) when l approached my car from behind, l noticed somebody had folded the wing mirrors inwards. l left my trolley behind the car and started pulling the mirrors out again. Then l spotted the tartan rug on the back seat.
l was in the row behind....

Lindy2 · 30/01/2020 21:08

A long time ago when you actually used keys to open cars, 2 people in our office had the same colour Ford Fiestas.

One day my friend who owned one of the Fiestas watched through the office window in horror as the owner of the other Fiesta, proceeded to unlock my friends car, start it up and start to drive out of the car park! I've never seen my friend run so fast as when she ran outside to stop her car being driven off.

Not only were they the same colour, they had the same locks too!

Wineiscooling · 30/01/2020 21:12

I broke into what I thought was my car! I just thought the door had jammed and that's why my key wouldn't open it. Broke into car boot, climbed through and only when sat on front seat did I realise it wasn't my car! Luckily no damage done!

katseyes7 · 30/01/2020 21:12

When l was in my twenties, my best friend and l used to love going out dancing. Two of our friends had a mobile disco, and we used to get to go to all the parties with them, on condition we started off the dancing until people got drunk enough to join in.
We were at one party and the DJ played Hot Stuff by Donna Summer. The DJ's brother got me up to dance and we were 'dirty dancing' - l had my hands on his shoulders.
About halfway through the song l noticed my boob tube (it was in the 80s) had fallen down to my waist. And l didn't have a bra on.
l think the only man in the room who hadn't noticed was my dancing partner. He was so busy concentrating on what his feet were doing, he didn't bat an eyelid.
The worst of it was that the party was for someone in our group of friends. Everyone in the room knew me.
l got my drinks bought all night, though....