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Original poster

Just made a massive fool of myself

199 replies

pyjamas89 · 30/01/2020 18:05

Walked out to the carpark with a colleague as Ieft the office this evening. Approaching my car noticed some bad damage to one side where someone has presumably driven into it. I was having a rant and my colleague was making the right kind of sympathetic noises. My colleague headed off and I then found I couldn't open my car door... Because it wasn't my car!

I'm switching between my cheeks burning to thinking it's hilarious to being delighted I won't have to pay to have it mended! Please come and make me feel less silly by regaling me with tales of your moments of making a fool of yourself?!

OP posts:
PhilomenaChristmasPie · 31/01/2020 14:23

Douberry That reminds me of my having a coughing fit while I was in to be induced with DS2, just as the midwife was examining me! She was drenched down to her shoulders! Sorry Lauren, you probably recognise me by the story! Xmas Blush

ChubbyMummy12 · 31/01/2020 14:25

I once text my husband slagging my boss off for changing my rota last minute, and not giving me a break on a 6 hour shift (domiciliary carer), effing and jeffing about how much of a twat she was, and how the fuck am I going to run with no travel time etc. Except I didn't send it to dh... I sent it to my boss!!! I was mortified. She text back saying 'is there a problem?' I said no and avoided the office for weeks

FenellaVelour · 31/01/2020 15:20

I was in a crowded pub, trying to get to the bar to order drinks. I tripped and began to fall forwards.

I automatically put out my hands, as you do when you trip.

Right in front of me was a woman who was, shall we say, very generously endowed. My hands landed right on her norks, I actually bounced off and it set me back on my feet again, saving my fall.

I apologised but she was highly unimpressed.

My friends, just behind me, were absolutely pissing themselves.

Elderflower14 · 31/01/2020 15:41

Have told this story on here before...
A few years ago I was watching Crime watch Roadshow one morning. The programme was concentrating on home security and burglary. When it finished I got up to go to the kitchen. I happened to glance through the frosted glass on the front door and could see a man walking through my gate heading across the lawn to the side gate.... I flung the door open and yelled very loudly " WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?"
He looked at me and replied very calmly and quietly "Good Morning Mrs J I've come to read your electric meter!" Blush
I kept seeing him all over the place that day of course and he stared beadily at me! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Original poster
pyjamas89 · 31/01/2020 16:05

I've just accidentally held hands with a stranger on the train... Someone please send help!

OP posts:
ToftyAC · 31/01/2020 17:33

I make a massive arse of myself on a regular basis. I don’t give a rats any longer - it always gives folk a massive laugh, so I just join in and laugh it off.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 31/01/2020 17:44

@PhilomenaChristmasPie:
Ever more handsome, ever more adorable. Rather stroppy when things don't go his way, but that's normal for 2½.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 31/01/2020 17:44

I tried my fob and my car wouldn’t open, the battery has run down a few times lately due to kids leaving internal lights on. I actually called DH to come To meet me and jump start- before I looked closer and realised that the seat material was different and it wasn’t my car.
Had to call him back and fess up! It’s one of his current favourite stories.

Esspee · 31/01/2020 17:48

Was at a market with other half and gave his bum a friendly cup and caress. 😳 You know what I’m going to say........
The gentleman to whom I apologised profusely kindly told my OH (who couldn’t stop laughing) that he had enjoyed the attention and that I had made his day.

Attitude84 · 31/01/2020 17:49

@icedgem85 I am crying!!! Grin

Shell4429 · 31/01/2020 17:51

I once went to Tesco with my (adult) son. When we returned to the car I opened the boot to see there was a woman in the driving seat looking round at me, very puzzled. When I heard my son laughing I realised it wasn’t my car! I was parked two spaces up. I apologised profusely and she saw the funny side ... as did my son he chuckled about it for weeks and told absolutely everyone. Blush

whiskeyandice · 31/01/2020 17:54

This week I was on a training course at work. We had a lot of handouts to read. We then began to do a group exercise which involved sorting out some cards with phrases written on that were placed in front of us.
They were spread over the table and some people were quite far away so I leaned to the lady next to me and said "Can you see?"

She's blind.

Mamalexi343 · 31/01/2020 17:57

We'd just bought a new car and I did the school run, I walked up to my car and there were 2 mum's stood Infront of the door chatting, I said excuse me and opened the door to get in....then one of the mum's shouted 'oi that's my car!' I'd actually forgotten where I'd parked and tried to get in one identical to mine Blush

I desperately apologised and ran off into the local shop and waited for everyone else to leave so I could a. Avoid anyone who saw and b. Find my actual car, bloody hell that was embarrassing Blush

TheBigFatMermaid · 31/01/2020 17:58

I've just accidentally held hands with a stranger on the train... Someone please send help!

How did this happen?

vale46 · 31/01/2020 18:01

I once sent a text to my DH and said "boooo just come on, no baby this month" but instead of sending it to my DH I sent it to my boss!!! I still break out in hives thinking about it and it was ages ago!!

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 31/01/2020 18:05

Op just before Christmas I did the same thing. I was at a retail park and it was dark, rainy and generally horrible. I realised I'd left my purse in the car so safely got Dd across the busy car park and was watching her go into the shop whilst I went back to the car. Only I didn't go back to my car, but stood for a good 5 minutes trying to get into a different car of the same colour. Not only that but the owners came out too Blush they weren't too happy and I'm not entirely sure they believed that I wasn't trying to steal it.

anotherElaine · 31/01/2020 18:06

Name changed as outing, but this one happened 20 years ago and I’m still cringing. It wasn’t me, but my sister.

We were in a pub on NYE and everyone was dressed up in fancy dress, as they do round here. My sister saw a guy dressed as a doctor sat at a table nearby who she thought was cute, so she went over to talk to him. She saw that one leg of his scrubs was loose so - thinking it was part of the costume - she picked up the trouser leg and flapped it about a bit saying, “wow that’s clever, how did you do that?”

He looked at her deadpan. “I’ve only got one leg.”

She absolutely curled up and died. Luckily the man in question saw the funny side...

starfishmummy · 31/01/2020 19:05

Drums pub loo story has reminded me...

I was out with a group in a new to me pub. Went to the ladies. Went back out and the group were not there. Nowhere to be seen. I was inwardly cursing them for playing a trick on me, totally failing to notice that the pool table we had been sitting next to had also disappeared.
One of the drinkers told me to go back into the ladies and out of the other door! They were situated between the bar and the lounge and had two entrances. Apparently people did it all the time .

Chickpea2000 · 31/01/2020 19:06

Went out on the friday night and left my car in town. Fast forward to Monday morning. I go to get in said car to drive to work. It's not there. Obviously stolen. I call police and insurance. Get a taxi to work in a fury. Then I remember my car is still parked in town from Friday night.

Pawsandnoses · 31/01/2020 19:12

@SnickettyLemon years ago, there were only a certain number of variations of key for ford fiestas and escorts. I used to work with someone who was forever locking himself out of his car, so used to borrow mine regularly so he could go home 😂

LoveBeingAMum555 · 31/01/2020 19:14

DS has just been in hospital, I stayed with him on a bay with two other patients. In the middle of the night I had a really bad dream and starting yelling "help help" in my sleep. Not only did I wake everyone else up two nurses came running thinking there was some kind of medical emergency. I was mortified so tried to pretend I was asleep and had no idea what was going on.

Vivianebrookskoviak · 31/01/2020 19:14

I was walking past a group of cute guys when I was on holiday in France many years ago as the street that lead to the car park entrance was where all the buses went from, so I tried to casually stroll down the ramp that lead to the car park but the tip of my trainer got caught on one of the chevrons designs in the cement and I just managed to stop myself from going flying. I didn't look back at the guys. Blush

AMomHasNoName · 31/01/2020 19:16

Some of these have me howling with laughter.
I had the get the bus somewhere a few months ago and when I pushed the buggy on I somehow collided and it went abit wonky and started to tip . Managed to rescue DS and get it upright. Only for me to then pay the driver and drop my change all over the floor. Whilst on my way up from scrambling it up I knocked my head quite hard on a rail. Shouted "ahhh f*ck" and looked up the bus was rammed. Still laugh when I think about it BlushGrin

dudsville · 31/01/2020 19:18

Fabulous OP! Thank you for not being the usual post as well, I literally enjoyed the laugh!

Tessabelle74 · 31/01/2020 19:41

As a trainee shop manager, I used to do the bank run. One day I saw my friend heading in to the branch in front of me. Thinking it would be a jolly jape, I walked up behind her, put my fingers into a gun shape and pressed them into the small of her back whilst saying "get your hands up and give me your money!" as her head whipped around I realised, it wasn't my friend but a complete stranger! 😲