Just made a massive fool of myself

[pyjamas89]

Walked out to the carpark with a colleague as Ieft the office this evening. Approaching my car noticed some bad damage to one side where someone has presumably driven into it. I was having a rant and my colleague was making the right kind of sympathetic noises. My colleague headed off and I then found I couldn't open my car door... Because it wasn't my car!

I'm switching between my cheeks burning to thinking it's hilarious to being delighted I won't have to pay to have it mended! Please come and make me feel less silly by regaling me with tales of your moments of making a fool of yourself?!

@icedgem85 yes, yes it does! I thank you for your kind service 😁

@Lindy2 you have reminded me that not so long ago my sister managed to unlock someone elses car (old, key in door to unlock) and her dh had got into it before they realised!

Went on a date with brand new boyfriend to the cinema. He'd driven us so as we walked back towards his car I saw him walk towards one side. I instinctively headed for the opposite side of the car and was about to get in the drivers seat. I don't drive. I lived with my mum and was used to sitting in the passenger seat. He was trying to open the door for me

I stood in the large supermarket carpark and said to friend I couldn't find my car. She creased up laughing and said "We came in mine."

I reported my car stolen after coming off a night shift to find it had gone. Two nice officers duly turned up and I showed them where it had been parked, gave them the reg number, model, colour etc.

A couple of hours after I got home they called me to tell me my car had been found by one of their patrols - exactly where I'd told them I'd parked it, just the next street down.

Many years ago - but my sister has NEVER let me forget it - went to the cinema and genuflected before entering the row to take a seat.

Speaking as a lapsed Catholic now - it scarred me for life!

I did a similar thing when I thought my car had been broken into. Went up to it, opened the door, looked through CDs etc, when a bloke came up to me and said "what the fuck are you doing in my car?"

I feel your pain OP.

After my husbands grandad died his nan was really struggling with the concept of having to top her phone up (no landline)

Husband got her a cheap contract phone which she was delighted with

DH: glad thats all sorted its not for long anyway

Me- no well she is 91

DH: i mean the contract. Its only 18 months....

OldieButaGoodie That is brilliant! Just the kind of thing my mother in law (who is a "rabid bead rattler" according to my husband) would do!

I was out with a few from work in a pub I'd never been to before. I noticed the men all heading in one direction, into a hallway, to the loo so off I went assuming the ladies would be there too. I ended up in the men's and was too mortified to leave so ran into a cubicle as I heard someone in the hallway behind me. I was cringing so much it took ages to build up the courage to leave again. I heard someone pee, someone fart loudly. Even thinking about it now, years later, makes me cringe. When I got back to the table someone asked was I ok and pointed to the ladies on the other side of the bar As there had been an exit into a dirty yard beside the men's, I pretended I'd gone out there for air.

Not me, but my friend's dad took her (lovely, but very daft) dog to the beach when we were at work. They had a lovely walk and the dog had been running about, so both were tired out when they got back to the car.
Her dad unlocked the car, put the keys in the ignition, and opened the hatchback to let the dog in the back. The dog was still over excited, and jumped up at the side door, pushing down the button on the central locking.
He ended up having to climb in the back and over the seats, and crawl through to the front, all the while being jumped over and licked by the dog who thought it was a marvellous game. Watched by a fascinated group of people who were getting out of a minibus.

I walked towards my car once, hands full of bags of yellow stickered items from M&S, loads of heavy bargains, clicked key which was hanging under my thumb to unlock and started waving my foot under back of car to open boot. It didn't happen so after trying 4 or five times I got cross and dropped the bags, kicked the car and said rather loudly FFS stupid fucking technology and as I realised my foot really hurt it dawned on me the car was blue and not black and the number plate was all wrong!!

And then the real owners walked across the car park 🙄

My most cringeworthy fuck up of all time...

A friend was doing a 'win a wedding competition' and she had to raise funds for a charity. She set up a WhatsApp group to run the charity events with military precision, we were only allowed to message 'yes' if we could do any events, no chatting or even explaining we couldn't do it. All her family and friends were on the group, about 100 in total.

I'd just had my ds so I had no intention of doing bag packing or non stop trampolining, we were skint too so had no money. She sent me a message saying this when I explained I couldn't do any events or donate
'Honestly for you your bro is a critical asset with his industry, influence and network' basically trying to get me to fleece my brother because that's all I have to offer...

She (who barely knows my brother) started messaging & suggesting different ways db could raise money. Anyway the final nail for me was my db telling me my friend had messaged him directly and asked for 25% of every entrance fee to his events to be donated to the charity. So so cheeky! I started talking to db about it and told him not to reply to her. I then took a screenshot of the messages between me and my friend where she's going on at me about how he could do certain things to raise money. I meant to send the screen shot to my brother so he'd see how cheeky she was but I sent it to the WhatsApp group it looked like I was trying to sabotage the whole thing because of how rude the messages were. So humiliating

These are brilliant!

I was on a packed commuter train years ago, and right beside 2 women, who were obviously work colleagues. It was clear very soon exactly who they worked for, and the older of the 2 women then proceeded to slate practically everyone she worked for. This being Ireland it's a totally daft thing to do, as there is a REALLY high likelihood of someone connected overhearing.

Anyway, the second of the women who was younger, clearly couldn't stand Older Colleague. I was listening with rapt interest, as Older Colleague kept bitching about ever increasing numbers of colleagues and whatever mild comment Younger Colleague made, she'd say something snotty or withering back.

Older Colleague moved onto an ad that was on the time for Miwadi orange juice. The tag line was the young boy in the ad saying 'It's not YOUR miwadi is MIWADI'. Older Colleague was boasting that the boy was her nephew. Younger Colleague was clearly so pissed off that she feigned ignorance of the ad. Ever more hysterically, Older Colleague kept screeching, 'but you do know him, you do know Jack [boys name apparently' and repeating the tagline, to Younger Colleague's insistence that, no, never heard of him / ad etc.

I was totally engrossed in the whole thing at this stage, and after many 'but you DO know him, you know Jack' comments from Older Colleague, I completely forgot I wasn't meant to be listening and yelped 'I know him! I know Jack'. The 2 women just stopped & stared and I had to stand pressed beside them for another 3 or 4 stops. Mortified.

(I still love listening to people's conversations when I'm out. I once actually got off the bus early as I was so invested in a story I was listening to).

I once drove to watch our village side play a much bigger team in a cup rugby match. I took DS2 (7 at the time). I parked the car quite close to the (not enormous think small town) ground. We watched the game, left the ground, then walked round it about 3 times looking for my car. Completely unable to find it. I was crying. Went back into the ground and 2 helpful men came out and helped me find the car which was parked on a street one street over. So embarrassed and DS reminds me of it still, 3 years later. 'Remember when you lost the car in Aberavon and you cried mummy......'

Pinboard🤣🤣🤣

Hmm 🤔 maybe I won’t leave this site after all #pyjamas89#twillo#oldiebutgoodie

spongedog yes I paid them, I didn’t admit to my stupidity !

My colleague got in his car. Couldn't start it. Called AA out. Realised it wasn't actually his car at all. And he reckoned the last place he worked nicknamed him 'Wally' because he looked like the Where's Wally Character. Yeah right ....

Haha.

This happened to me. I seen my car and noticed it was scraped at the rear end. I got down on my knees and started tutting and trying to rub the marks away.

I went to the front of the car and opened the door and there was someone in the drivers seat! I apologised, closed the door and walked off to find my actual car a few rows down.

@Beachcomber that made me laugh out loud. Brilliant.

I literally cannot believe how many people can't recognise their own cars!!

Once sat working in a meeting room with a very reserved, sensible colleague. Papers all over the table and laptops out. I took a sip of water but just as I did, I hiccupped and the water flew out of my mouth and everywhere - all over my laptop and halfway across the table. Still remember his face, just still looking at his screen and his hand pushing his soaking wet papers away

I thought my luck had come in and I'd won 50,000 pounds on a scratchcard. It was one of those cards where you need to match 3 in a row and the prize amount is at the end of the row. I was so excited I phoned camelot to verify my win..... Except I hadn't realised that the prize amount I'd scratched was the one for the row above and I had in fact won 2 pounds.... I was so embarrassed! . The guy on the phone must have been trying not to piss himself laughing. In my defence I had just had a particularly bad night with poorly dd and hasn't had my 2nd cup of coffee yet.!! .

I remembered another two.

First, sent an email to my Mother, describing the Senco of the School thus: 'as much use as a chocolate teapot, though far less pleasant'.
(she'd been overtly disablist to my child- admitted and documented)
In a 'Freudian slip' I sent it not to my Mother but to the Senco.
She emailed back: 'I don't think you meant to send this to me, and I find you unpleasant too, talking about me behind my back like that'
Ouch. I descended from my high horse rather quickly.

2nd is funnier, in hindsight:
turned up for a Christening Service at a distant Church 15mins late
Dashed in, in flouncy summer frock, tugging somewhat shouty and very reluctant toddler, clutching garish gift and some helium balloons
About 40 somberly dressed elderly folk turned as one to LOOK at us.
I then notice the casket and the funeral flowers.
Turns out we were in fact a whole week early - ouch!

my gran has a pair of large white gates at the end of her drive.so when walked to hers id usually have my head down and when i saw in my outer vision the white gates up id go....
well i did this one visit and got to the door,walked in distracted turning my music off on my phone putting the earphones in pockey etc etc.
looked up and there is a man in front of me who i dont know looking scared/confused/angry/shocked.and so was i. where the hell was my gran and what is this man doing in her home...
well it turns out neighbour had recently painted there gates white and i was now standing like a fecking loon looking for my gran in his hallway!
i died of embarrassment