Canal boat: Four 18/19 year old lads...

[Miljea]

Aaaaaand... breathe!

The mothers of the other three lads are probably on here, at a guess! That would be funny.

My DS, 18, Year out from uni, is lovely. And clueless. He's not huge on RL friends (at all), but, frankly, his RL friends, such as they are, only seem to get together in cyberspace.

Months ago DS mentioned a canal boat trip, with these other guys, for a lad's birthday. In Feb, somewhere in the Midlands. DS was at sixth form with the now-at-uni inviter, who has a uni mate and a 'local to his uni' mate to make up the 4.

I thought it would die a death, but it hasn't.

Like I said, DS is sweetly clueless.

My concerns?

Getting along the south coast. He's never caught a train alone- even a bus, other than a school one! This is Southampton to Brighton. With a change.

Driving from Brighton to the midlands with an unknown teenage driver.

Arriving late and all going yadda yadda yadda about How The Boat Works (tho the inviter has done it before, as has my DS, albeit in a 'someone else taking responsibility' (us) way.). Then bouncing off into the dark.

Not understanding what are feasible journey times. That you can't travel by night. Knowing the electrical capabilities of the boat, versus battery charge 😊 And water supply. Ending up at pubs to eat, otherwise bringing food, to reheat. Who is planning all that without being derided?

Having a cold, dark, wet, miserable 5 days because no one took control of the situation.

Obviously I need to go along to Make It All Alright 😂😂 but....

Learning experience? Brilliant holiday? Or catastrophe?

Bearing in mind, come Sept, he might be at a uni a 5 hour, inc cross-London train trip away.. 😮 We'll never see him again.

But I almost fear he doesn't know what he doesn't know.

I may be feeling rather anxious about it......

OP i wasn't saying about the trip on a canal boat
I was referring to this "adult" who is unable to adult and the fact that he needs to learn and quickly

Really?
I went backpacking to & around New Zealand at 17...

If nothing else it will be a huge learning experience for him

At 18 we did exactly the same thing, canal holiday, totally clueless, it was brilliant.
Cut the umbilical cord and let him go. He’ll have a great time.

My point was that it will be a very good learning experience for him.
And it was self-catering (because of your comment about their food and eating plans).
If he is going to be going to Uni in a matter of months 'across London' then he needs to get used to public transport and this seems a pretty gentle introduction tbh.

And from your post, if you did that at 17 yrs & 9 months, surely you learnt some valuable life lessons from that experience?
Good or bad, they need to learn for themselves and know they can come back to you either way, without reprisal or I told you so's.
Cut him some slack to gain some independence but be there if he needs you.

To be honest, I was maybe hoping for some practical ideas; take this, don't forget that; an issue we hadn't foreseen was; insist they all take note at the induction, because....;

That sort of thing. Less of the existential crisis this seems to have awakened!

Rainbow, yes, life lessons.

'Don't try and sleep on Ulm, and Marseille station platforms cos that sleazy Israeli/Moroccan person is after your mate.'

What I might impart to my DS under those circumstances? Be aware that nowhere is 'safe' but maybe you and the others might do shifts, keeping watch over each other, and your kit, now you've spotted a threat.

You've never kipped on a Eurail station platform, have you?

Op you are getting a hard time here, ignore the lot of them and do what you feel is right.

When I rented a canal boat (admittedly in my 20s, with DH) the owner spent a good hour beforehand making sure we understood how it worked and a few bits of basic troubleshooting. But they really don't want the uninitiated trying to fix anything that goes wrong - when this happened to us we phoned the boat yard and they sent someone out to fix it.
If the trip isn't for a couple weeks why doesn't your DS do a practice train journey (not the whole route obviously, just a couple stops for the experience of navigating a train station, buying tickets etc).
He might have a cold, wet,miserable 5 days - if he does, it's only 5 days! We've all had bad holidays before. And this can be mitigated with some sensible packing. Conversely, he might have the holiday of a lifetime, learn some new skills, cement some RL friendships, and gain confidence. There's only one way to find out!

I did with a group of us - 5 or so at about that age. It was such fun we went twice. It'll be great. They'll learn loads. They won't all be as otherworldly as your DS or it wouldn't have got booked.

My only concern would be "what February??"
But that's my image of drifting along a canal with sunshine all round.
It will be bloody cold, take a truck load of blankets and hot water bottles and snacks.

Hopefully the others have travel and boat skills.

With respect, I don't know a lot of 18 year olds to whom that's a stroll in the park!

With respect you’ve either mollycoddled him or the world has changed unbelievably in the 18 months since my dc was that age.
The changing train concerns are ridiculous for a NT 15 yo.

It is seriously weird that you are so worried about this.

Most 18 year olds I know go on holiday abroad - gasp! - after their A Levels. Some even take a whole gap year!

What do your 18 year olds do for holidays?
Both mine took gap years and both were only 17 at the start. They went away for months on end. A four day canal boating trip certainly would have been a walk in the park for them and most other 18 year olds.
Maybe you are getting a hard time because your 18 year old hasn’t ever taken a train alone, or driven a fairly easy route in his home country, Ax. or had to fend for himself for a few days. That really is highly unusual.

Well if they're arriving at the boat late at night they'll just sleep wherever it is moored and set off the next day surely? A PP says you're not supposed to travel at night anyway?

Pick up food and drink supplies at a supermarket en-route? I understand the reasons why he's never been on a bus alone but surely at least one of the group has experience of obtaining food without being facilitated by a parent?

Eat at canal side pubs and cafes along the way? There's probably a website with listings or they can look on canal boaters forums?

There's probably some sort of induction or information sent as part of the booking? No-ones going to hire a boat out unless the hirers know how to drive it and the rules of the canal - speed limits, which side to pass other boats, how to do locks, rules on alcohol etc.

Don't go with him, that would be ridiculous for someone to bring their mum on a lads holiday.

A boat trip in February sounds like hell to me.
It was lovely in the heat of summer in the oxford area with the sun beating down me and my friend watching over the kids while our husbands steered the boat.
In winter..brrrr
I think they’ll be lucky if they last a day.

I did a few of these sort of trips while I was at university, they were great.

If a parent thinks their adult child isn’t capable of catching two trains then either the child has profound SEN or the parent needs to take a serious look at their parenting.

He'll be grand 😊 send him with a first aid kit and a back up phone charger (one of those precharged ones)
Sounds like a great adventure for them.

Also most national rail app usually let's you know platform arrival and platform departing if you've got a quick change it can be super helpful

He’ll have great fun

We used to have mates - brothers who’s family had their own canal boat, we had quite a few weekends on the GU. Doing the licks, having some fun
Then in the evening all of us in a pub for a meal and a few drinks, there’d be about 7/8 of us

Op you’re son will have a blast I’m sure, if he doesn’t enjoy it he doesn’t have to repeat the experience

How times have changed. I went with a mate youth hosteling around the Cotswold when I was 13 (and yes it was allowed) on our bikes. Rang home perhaps twice in a week. A great experience and so "freeing". I think the OPs DC will have a great time and create a nice memory to look back on.

My 18 year old earned the money for, booked and organised 17 days interrailing around Europe with a friend last summer. They visited 7 countries by bus and train, stayed in hostels and booked two adventure days out. My contribution was to pick them up from the station and suggest a small blanket was added to the packing.
This was with the background of a regular bus to school, train to the local shopping centre with friends, train by themselves to all the uni offer holder days ranging from 60 to 260 miles away and flying independently to be part of their sports team.
If you’re worried, get him doing some bus and train journeys locally before he goes and cooking a couple of simple meals. If anything goes wrong, you’re only a couple of hours away so could easily go up and offer moral support whilst letting the sort out any issues.

Take a look at the map of the canal - print it out (not you - him) and mark local supermarkets and pubs. Also useful to know can be public swimming pools - for a change of scene and a good shower!!

He's only going a few days so he will be fine. Sensible in locks because they are dangerous and don't drive the boat when they are all pissed because not only is it dangerous they will have to pay for any damage.

(One of my first holidays away was on the canal with a friend. We had been lots with her parents but we loved it).

Oh and pack some playing cards, or a game like exploding kittens to play in the evening.

Torches - take torches for walking along the tow path in the dark.

There is a great big Tesco at Warwick, on the GU canal - you can’t miss it

Further along is a pub called the Cape of good hope at Warwick - good food

A great cafe for breakfast at Hatton Locks, there are 18 or so licks though 😛

This is Southampton to Brighton. With a change.

Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? So many 18 year olds are on gap years and on trains around the world, I'm sure he can navigate the south coast of England.

I know you feel like you're having a hard time on this thread but your concerns about how they'll eat etc are crazy. They'll buy food and eat it- it is that simple.

He has either grown up living under a rock and you haven't given him the tools to be a fully functioning adult or you're underestimating his abilities to manage.