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Original poster

WWYD - school ringing to fetch sick child

152 replies

confusedofengland · 28/01/2020 11:52

So, DS3 is in Year 1, he is nearly 6. In his class of 30 DC, there were 9 children off yesterday with a sick bug. One actually vomited in class, 3 were sent home feeling sick, 5 were sick overnight & did not go in. Since DS has heard about this, he has been periodically saying he has a tummy ache, then eating & behaving as normal, very lively, eaten chocolate offered to him etc. Slept fine last night.

I was volunteering at the village library this morning, as I do each week. We are not allowed to open with less than 2 people. I also do paid work at this & other libraries all within a 15 minute drive from home. I had a call halfway through my shift, at 11am, to say DS was 'pale & complaining of a tummy ache' so could I fetch him immediately? I explained that I was working & would need to wait until 1pm as otherwise the library, which was hosting an event, would have to close. They said that was no good & I had to come immediately.

So, a customer who is also my friend, stepped in & I went to fetch DS. It took them 10 mins to fetch him from the classroom & when he came out he was eating an apple, jumping around & not pale! I took the apple from him & said that was not a good thing to eat if he had a tummy ache. He was asking for lunch & quite chatty, as normal. We came straight home (5 min walk) & I have put him to bed, saying that if he is ill he needs to get some sleep. I intend to leave him there a while then get him to do reading/writing this afternoon if he is still ok (as I suspect he will be).

Have I done the right thing or have I overreacted? I can't help but think that if I worked any distance away, as lots of parents here do, the school would not have called me & I do feel a little irritated to ge called out to a child who seems perfectly fine!

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 31/01/2020 12:10

I work 45 miles away from where my daughter's school is and I've still had to collect her in the past. But I'd have been livid with her if she'd have been putting it on.

Aragog · 31/01/2020 12:10

Too ill for school?, too ill for TV, fave toys etc etc

I'm off school (where I work) at the moment. I am resting by sitting in front of the TV whilst whiling away time on here. I'm not feeling sick - not the reason I am off - but regardless, I still have the use of my eyes and ears, and - although they are painful, my arms and hands too.

WaterSheep · 31/01/2020 12:11

Ah. Hold on - I'll check again.

Surely you should have already checked and clarified what happened prior to posting an explanation. Confused

Just admit it. Someone has deliberately edited the OPs post to make it more dramatic, so it would create a bun fight on another social media platform.

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MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 31/01/2020 12:13

Sometimes with long posts we have to cut out a paragraph or two to make it work with the Facebook format - but of course, we shouldn't ever change the sense of the post by doing this and we're sorry it happened this time.

We're going to be looking really carefully at Facebook copy to make sure we're not changing the meaning in future.

Huge apologies once again - and thanks to everyone who brought it to our attention.

Cohle · 31/01/2020 12:13

Yes that is the section that is missing. Which as the OP has pointed out, is the section which makes it clear that her child was actually fine, and the omission of which therefore made her post much more controversial.

I'm also slightly surprised this wasn't confirmed prior to MNHQ commenting on the issue.

WaterSheep · 31/01/2020 12:13

Yes. Just checked and this section is missing:

Meaning those who read the thread on FB thought the OP had left her DS at school. Which totally changes the thread.

Sharkyfan · 31/01/2020 12:14

I sympathise with you and am half expecting a call today - my younger dc vomited at school yesterday, no one closer (eg granny) was available so she had no option but to wait the 40 mins it took me to get back from work.
Loads of kids are off with it today, have sent elder dc in as normal but she knows everyone has it so wouldn’t be surprised if it brings on a tummy ache! And whilst I wouldn’t normally expect them to call me for a tummy ache I think when they’re in the grips of an outbreak they take no chances.
So you did collect him and I think you had no choice, but it’s annoying when it seems they made the wrong call and you have been inconvenienced. On the plus side though at least he’s not around the bug now so maybe there’s less chance of him getting it!

Cohle · 31/01/2020 12:15

We're going to be looking really carefully at Facebook copy to make sure we're not changing the meaning in future.

But two minutes ago you were claiming the copy hasn't be altered at all in this instance. It's hard to believe you've genuinely initiated a significant re-think of policy in that time frame...

Original poster
confusedofengland · 31/01/2020 12:37

That is precisely the part that is missing on Facebook. @MNHQ were aware of that when this all kicked off, on Tuesday evening, as I messaged them via 3 different means & pointed out what was missing.

It meant that people on FB believed I had left my 'sick' child at school, so people were saying I was a bad parent, had my priorities wrong, were scoffing at the fact I volunteer in a library, were saying they were glad not to be my child. All rather insulting and hurtful. BUT I had actually picked my son up within 25 minutes of the school ringing!

I must say that the commenting on here by MNHQ & the apology feel rather hollow. It does look a lot like the post was doctored for entertainment value rather than just shortened because it was too long Hmm

OP posts:
Cohle · 31/01/2020 12:56

Yes it's pretty hard to feel that MNHQ are taking this seriously when they don't appear to a clue what's going on.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 31/01/2020 13:14

The behaviour of MNHQ in recent weeks leaves a lot to be desired. It’s a far cry from what MNHQ used to be. They’ve sunken really low.

TheDeep · 31/01/2020 13:15

I'm beginning to think that Mumsnet is run by complete amateurs. Yes they can post forum posts on Facebook etc but they shouldn't be edited to misrepresent what the poster said originally.

JemimaPuddleCat · 31/01/2020 14:50

Maybe @JustineMumsnet could comment on this absolutely shoddy practice. Once she's spoken to those responsible and actually found out what happened, of course, not just made up some shit excuse.

Cohle · 31/01/2020 15:02

@MNHQ have messaged me and said "It's absolutely not Mumsnet policy - in this case, it was human error. We're so sorry to have caused so much upset to one of our members - it's not what we're about and we've taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen again."

I've asked them to clarify whether the error was editing the post at all, or just that in this instance the edits were felt to make the post misrepresentative.

I can't say I'm particularly happy about the idea of my posts being edited by MN, without either my knowledge or at least clear indication that edits have been made, and then disseminated with my username still attached.

I'm aware this is a public forum and I'm more than happy to stand behind my posts, but not if they are going to be strategically edited for maximum controversy.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 31/01/2020 15:08

I, for one, will never start a post on here again! Which is a shame, because it used to be my go-to place for parenting advice, especially regarding my son with SEN, as I don't have many people irl I can talk to about it all.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2020 15:09

First rule of lying is make sure your lie stands up to basic scrutiny. Most primary school children have mastered that.

Mrsjayy · 31/01/2020 15:34

Can anybody post a thread to facebook ? I do think mumsnet should have the curtasey (sp) to ask the Op but these threads can end up on loose women or wherever they cropbits so as not to identify Hmm

Original poster
confusedofengland · 31/01/2020 15:41

I really hope this doesn't end up on Loose Women Shock I'd be mortified!

OP posts:
Zurina · 31/01/2020 16:04

If you did work a long way away, or were out for the day, presumably you would have someone else who could pick up in an emergency?

If you can’t pick up straight away then you have to get someone else to collect - that’s pretty standard and most schools won’t accept a 2hr+ delay.

Me and DP are the only family of ours who live in London. So if he died and I was working, and couldn't get to the school for my sick kid for 2 hours, the school would have to like it or lump it. I don't have friends here, and if I didn't have DP there's nobody else who could get to London any quicker than I could get back from work. Imagine if he weren't in the picture and I was single, I'd be the only emergency contact for my child.

hibiscuswater · 31/01/2020 16:07

@MichaelMumsnet It looks a lot like your first post was, shall we say, somewhat economical with the truth. I expected better of Mumsnet.

@Justinemumsnet - would love to hear your thoughts.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 31/01/2020 16:08

DS's school wouldn't call me unless he vomited or had diarrhoea or a fever.

ChicCroissant · 31/01/2020 17:35

That does look as if it was deliberately edited that way and that is really disappointing that MN would make one of their own contributors look like they did totally the opposite of what actually happened.

00100001 · 31/01/2020 17:41

It's not like MN is a huge multi national company.
How is it that Michael posted the wrong explanation after the repeated messages and huge delay....

So weird.

Cohle · 31/01/2020 19:03

The message from MNHQ still seems pretty confused tbh.

I asked them to clarify whether it is MN policy though that users posts can be edited before being used, and users will not be informed that this has taken place.

They responded saying "It's absolutely not Mumsnet policy - in this case, it was human error."

I pointed out that seems to directly contradict the statement by MichaelMumsnet below "Sometimes with long posts we have to cut out a paragraph or two to make it work with the Facebook format - but of course, we shouldn't ever change the sense of the post by doing this and we're sorry it happened this time."

And they responded that "Yes - we wouldn't edit as in change text, but for space and reasons of posting, we may copy a selection of the text and as Michael said, we shouldn't ever do it in a way that changes the context and this was an error."

They don't seem to appreciate that omitting portions of a post is editing. I'm not particularly comforted by any of MNHQ's attempts at clarification today.

Mrsjayy · 31/01/2020 19:25

I really hope this doesn't end up on Loose Women shock I'd be mortified!

If it was it would have been this week dont worry.

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