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Original poster

WWYD - school ringing to fetch sick child

152 replies

confusedofengland · 28/01/2020 11:52

So, DS3 is in Year 1, he is nearly 6. In his class of 30 DC, there were 9 children off yesterday with a sick bug. One actually vomited in class, 3 were sent home feeling sick, 5 were sick overnight & did not go in. Since DS has heard about this, he has been periodically saying he has a tummy ache, then eating & behaving as normal, very lively, eaten chocolate offered to him etc. Slept fine last night.

I was volunteering at the village library this morning, as I do each week. We are not allowed to open with less than 2 people. I also do paid work at this & other libraries all within a 15 minute drive from home. I had a call halfway through my shift, at 11am, to say DS was 'pale & complaining of a tummy ache' so could I fetch him immediately? I explained that I was working & would need to wait until 1pm as otherwise the library, which was hosting an event, would have to close. They said that was no good & I had to come immediately.

So, a customer who is also my friend, stepped in & I went to fetch DS. It took them 10 mins to fetch him from the classroom & when he came out he was eating an apple, jumping around & not pale! I took the apple from him & said that was not a good thing to eat if he had a tummy ache. He was asking for lunch & quite chatty, as normal. We came straight home (5 min walk) & I have put him to bed, saying that if he is ill he needs to get some sleep. I intend to leave him there a while then get him to do reading/writing this afternoon if he is still ok (as I suspect he will be).

Have I done the right thing or have I overreacted? I can't help but think that if I worked any distance away, as lots of parents here do, the school would not have called me & I do feel a little irritated to ge called out to a child who seems perfectly fine!

OP posts:
Original poster
confusedofengland · 30/01/2020 17:16

They did respond last night, to say that they wouldn't take this thread down from Chat because it wasn't breaking any rules, but they would take my post down from Facebook, if it was upsetting me (which it did, a lot). It took a further 4 emails from me & 12 hours for it to actually come down. I have not received any explanation as to why my post was doctored on Facebook, despite specifically asking for one. I've been very upset by the whole thing & this honestly lowers my opinion of MN.

OP posts:
debbs77 · 30/01/2020 17:20

I don't collect unless they are actually being sick.

My children have been sent home numerous times in the past because they feel sick.....in a school with heating on full, and no fresh air.

I've actually taken them back in before when they've been sent home as within 10 minutes out of school they're fine!

Cohle · 30/01/2020 17:21

That's a really disappointing response from them OP, no wonder you're upset Flowers.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Families General education Primary education
MitziK · 30/01/2020 17:26

How many children would they be stuck looking after in Reception otherwise? They could have had ten other children, all saying they felt sick/their tummy hurt - the sensible thing is to get them all home where if they are actually going to be sick, they can be in the care of a parent, they're not infecting everybody else and there's room for the next bunch of potential pukers coming in after lunchtime.

youwereagoodcakeclyde · 30/01/2020 19:12

I’m sorry posting this has ended up being a stress for you. I thought the post interesting and about what we expect school to do for different levels of illness /if we think it maybe feigned. There is definitely variety of opinion on that.
It’s rubbish that you have been misrepresented on Facebook, I find people a lot less forgiving these days, especially on the internet.
I hope your son is still well and thank you for your work as part of the library.

GreytExpectations · 30/01/2020 19:50

@mnhq is awful at moderating the site. Their bullshit of "in the spirit" is just about creating froth. I'm not suprised that the kind of people who run this site would edit the post that them. That's just the type of place mumsnet it, I'm more suprised s that you are all suprised

C8H10N4O2 · 30/01/2020 20:06

I've been very upset by the whole thing & this honestly lowers my opinion of MN.

I'm not surprised, editing a post to make the OP look bad is a shitty thing to do from a forum which deletes threads on the ground of "NITS". Very disappointing.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/01/2020 20:15

This shows me how the world has changed, parents don't prioritise their ill children over work, anymore

Don't be ridiculous. Parents (and lets face it, you mean mothers) work, they may have to travel to work, they may have other people depending on them and be unable to drop everything immediately. That is life.

I don't ever recall fathers coming to pick up sick kids from school. It was just assumed that my DM's generation would be on tap for all needs unless they could afford to pay another woman to do it for them.

zelbazinnamon · 30/01/2020 20:22

Also only 20 years ago parents couldn’t be immediately summoned as they are now. I broke my arm in a PE lesson at school around 1992. My mum was away from the office & they couldn’t get hold of her, my dad was on a series of home visits (as a doctor). My dad’s secretary tracked him down first, about 2 hours after I had been taken the hospital...

zelbazinnamon · 30/01/2020 20:23

Blimey I’m old, that’s nearly 30 years ago! But point being it wasn’t about priority, it’s about expectations of immediate contact & results.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/01/2020 20:26

t wasn’t about priority, it’s about expectations of immediate contact & results.

Yes good point. I'm in my 50s and when I was primary age not only were their no mobile phones but many of my friends were not on the phone anyway. If you wanted to call the mother (couldn't possibly call a father!) the only way to do it was to send a messenger unless a helpful neighbour was on the phone.

Elbeagle · 30/01/2020 20:27

zelbazinnamon similar happened to me! I broke my arm badly (an ambulance was called), my dad was in Saudi Arabia with work and my mum was out somewhere for the day, no mobile phones so no one could get hold of them! Luckily they managed to get hold of my grandmother who got a bus to the hospital and met me there. A teacher came in the ambulance with me. That was about 25 years ago.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/01/2020 20:27

argh - "There" not "their"!

ItIsAllChange · 30/01/2020 20:38

I think some parents do know their children better but not always. I remember my brother complained of having stomach ache but my mum insisted he went in. She met him at hospital a few hours later as he was being prepped to have his appendix removed. It’s a tough call to make and I can see why a school would be being over cautious with nine off sick in the same class. I would also imagine more will go down with it, especially since one vomited in the class room which will have spread the bug.

00100001 · 31/01/2020 09:15

Wow, I bet @MNHQ are just going to try and ignore and not respond to the shitty NOT IN THE SPIRIT editing!!

Urkiddingright · 31/01/2020 10:30

A couple of years ago when my eldest was in year 3 he went through a phase of complaining about something and therefore being sent home. As soon as we got in the car he was absolutely fine, there was never anything wrong with him. I’m a teacher so this really started to impact on my career and I think after the fourth time I just refused to pick him up when they called mid-lesson. I said I’m sorry but this has happened five times in as many months and there’s never anything wrong with him, if he actually does vomit then call me back but if not I’m not collecting him. I had a word with the class teacher in the end and asked her to please stop sending him home unless he was actually vomiting or seemed genuinely very ill. Thankfully it stopped after this.

Sometimes they send children home for absolutely nothing and it is beyond frustrating. I have had my DD’s sent home for ‘looking green’ before Hmm and there was fuck all wrong with them when I collected them. In fact, the more I think about it I don’t think I’ve ever actually collected a genuinely sick child!

Mrsjayy · 31/01/2020 10:54

That is rubbish it ended up on facebook out of context to boot ! this one of the things I dislike about forums they are not as private as you would like.

haveyoutriedgoogle · 31/01/2020 10:56

@MNHQ any reason you haven’t apologised to OP for your appalling conduct?

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 31/01/2020 11:48

Hi all and apologies for the confusion and upset around the Facebook post. And thanks to all those who got in touch to report the issue.

We've checked the processes around what and how we post on Facebook - and here's some information about what happened with this thread.

We posted a screenshot of the full opening post on Facebook - but unfortunately, unless you clicked on the screenshot, the whole post didn't show - which meant that the important last paragraph wasn't visible in the feed.

We investigated and took the Facebook post down.

But most importantly, huge apologies to @confusedofengland for the upset caused. We're looking at our Facebook posting process to make sure that this issue doesn't happen again.

00100001 · 31/01/2020 11:57

Err that isn't what happened, it wasn't the last paragraph that was missing.

The second to last paragraph was completely missing....

Confused
MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 31/01/2020 12:02

Ah. Hold on - I'll check again.

Cohle · 31/01/2020 12:02

That doesn't seem accurate MNHQ....

It wasn't the end of OP's post that was cut off, it was the penultimate paragraph.

BirthdayHelp · 31/01/2020 12:02

I don't think this is the case here. It was a middle paragraph you took out @MichaelMumsnet?

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 31/01/2020 12:06

Yes. Just checked and this section is missing:

'So, a customer who is also my friend, stepped in & I went to fetch DS. It took them 10 mins to fetch him from the classroom & when he came out he was eating an apple, jumping around & not pale! I took the apple from him & said that was not a good thing to eat if he had a tummy ache. He was asking for lunch & quite chatty, as normal. We came straight home (5 min walk) & I have put him to bed, saying that if he is ill he needs to get some sleep. I intend to leave him there a while then get him to do reading/writing this afternoon if he is still ok (as I suspect he will be).'

Aragog · 31/01/2020 12:06

I can't help but think that if I worked any distance away, as lots of parents here do, the school would not have called me

We would definitely still have called you. In fact we rarely know where a parent will be, or where their work place is, when we make a decision to call a parent to collect. If one parent is further away we ask them if someone is closer, or we try the other emergency contacts. We ask for at least 3 numbers from parents. Obviously if there really is no one available to come for a couple of hours we do our best to care for the child, whilst still keeping them away from the rest of the class ideally. But its not very pleasant for the child who is selling poorly to be left waiting obviously.

We can't do much about children 'faking' it - we certainly can't accuse them of not telling the truth, though we do try to use our judgement when it comes to individuals.

However, having had 2 children vomit onto me this academic year so far, I don't really like taking the risk anymore tbh.