Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Starved snake

312 replies

OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 20:37

For the second time my Dsis has neglected an animal to death and I only found out yesterday.

She's recently 18 and did have a snake that used to be my brothers til she took over it's care. I'd noticed she hadn't been feeding it much from lack of seeing defrosting mice, but I never go in her room where it was and have quite a hectic life, I did ask her way back September time are you feeding the snake is it still alive and she'd said yes of course

Yesterday my DB tells me that a few weeks ago he'd gone in there to see it and the smell was horrific, it had been dead for obviously quite a while and there were about 3 rotting mice where she'd put them in, feeding a dead snake?!!!

She has form for this when years and years ago she neglected a Guinea pig, sadly to it's death too. At that time I didn't visit the house much but I did notice and was having to clean it out and kept telling her to look after it but she didn't.

I've told her today that her actions are disgusting and illegal and she's never to own an animal again, if she does I'll report her. I honestly think it's an extreme case of laziness and irresponsibility

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 17/01/2020 21:47

And stop saying again she was left alone with a guinea pig when she was a child and had a father with mental health issues and left in the care of a family friend who merely fed her

CherryPlum · 17/01/2020 21:47

You say that your sister doesn't have mental health issues, you say she 'only has anxiety'. Well, anxiety is a mental health issue.

I wonder if you are so used to seeing your father as the one with mental health issues that none of you have realised how much your sister is struggling herself? It sounds to me like your sister is very lazy but also has a lack of direction and nobody looking out for her needs. Obviously it's inexcusable that she allowed the animal to starve but I would be looking to get her some support. You've all been through so much.

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:48

When I used to visit I would clean out and care for the guinea pig and I kept saying to my dad that it's not ok and it needed to be cared for

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Other pets & animals
midwest · 17/01/2020 21:48

OP it doesn't need to be a competition between you and your sister, you can both have had very difficult childhoods that have left their mark on you.
Trauma impacts people in different ways and you were both very different ages when your dm died and your family broke up.
Your sister needs more support from a responsible adult than she is currently getting and it would seem highly likely this has been the case for a while.

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:49

Obviously I know anxiety is a mh issue having had several anxiety and ptsd, she has minor social anxiety hence the 'just'

OP posts:
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 17/01/2020 21:51

The best thing you could do for your sister is call social services and get her some help.

BecauseReasons · 17/01/2020 21:52

Do you think you resent your sister because you feel she had it easier than you did?

Keepmewarm · 17/01/2020 21:54

I gave up reading after you stated twice that your sister ‘only’ has anxiety.

Your sister is cruel but you are very rude.

‘Only anxiety’.

FloreanFortescue · 17/01/2020 21:54

People are allowed to be lazy selfish twats without having MH issues.

She sounds like an absolute waster OP. I'd throw the book at her.

Keepmewarm · 17/01/2020 21:54

Ahhh glad someone else was pissed off at that.

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:55

I'm the one who has been on diazepam for anxiety, she has social anxiety but goes out regularly for the cinema and to socialise hence my comment

OP posts:
gypsywater · 17/01/2020 21:55

I doubt she had a nanny either

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:56

They weren't a live in nanny they were a family friend who my dad employed as a nanny for legality sake who looked after her at her home and did school runs etc

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 17/01/2020 21:57

It's not normal for anyone to be able to sleep in a room with such an horrendous smell. Teenagers are notoriously lazy my DD18 bedroom currently looks like a bomb has hit it but it's normal teenage mess , clothes make up everywhere not rotting dead animals. I really think you need to have a serious chat with her , I know nothing about snakes but I suspect they aren't the easiest of animals to look after so why didn't she ask for help? Why has she left it dead and not told anyone?

gypsywater · 17/01/2020 21:57

How could he work to pay for the nanny if he was as mentally ill as you state?

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:57

Because of bereavement pay and insurance, largely insurance

OP posts:
BecauseReasons · 17/01/2020 21:58

I'm surprised at the number of people advocating going after her with the full force of the law. If she is starting to get her life on track, why would you jeopardise that by trying to get her into legal trouble? She's had an awful start in life and knocking her back now will only make her less likely to do well in the future. Besides, it's not like she's actively tried to procure a pet- her brother gave it to her. I'd ask her not to keep pets again but at this juncture would not have reported her.

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 21:58

He's still technically employed he's just never been well enough to return to work since my mums death

OP posts:
gypsywater · 17/01/2020 21:59

I'm surprised at all the comments suggesting to enable her behaviour FFS

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 17/01/2020 21:59

I don’t think a chat from a pious sister who doesn’t like her is going to have any impact at all. This girl needs professional intervention. There’s far more to this than “just can’t be arsed”.

Original poster
OdeToDiazepam · 17/01/2020 22:00

Like I said as soon as I mentioned it she told me to shut the fuck up Hmm

OP posts:
BecauseReasons · 17/01/2020 22:00

I'm surprised at all the comments suggesting to enable her behaviour FFS

I haven't seen any.

gypsywater · 17/01/2020 22:01

Yours love

gypsywater · 17/01/2020 22:01

OP how has she got into the habit of talking to you like that? Telling you to shut the fuck up? It's awful

gypsywater · 17/01/2020 22:02

Sounds like she has had zero boundaries

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.