Why can’t other mums ever met at weekends

[Notsogreen30]

I’ll start by saying I know a lot of people work ft and family time is precious and I’m kindof aiming this thread at parents of more than one kid as me and my dh found it easier to have downtime etc when we just had one dc and we were (in our case) a bit more insular.
I have a good group of really lovely friends where I live, we get on really well and in all honesty they are the nicest people you could meet. We all have a few kids each and in general we meet up the odd time with them. The thing I don’t get is that a lot if them just can’t seem to do anything recreational for themselves at the weekend. My dh and I have three young dcs and absolutely no practical support from any other family so reply on each other completely. We still exercise at the weekends , maybe go out for coffee or breakfast (on our own obvs) or just have some time out. We also just loads with our dcs and 90 percent of our time/activities is child focused etc. I don’t know what it is but I’d love to see my friends for an hour or so catch up without the kids but it’s almost impossible.
Btw before anyone says maybe they prefer being with their kids these friends often talk about how they are exhausted at the weekends , would love some headspace etc and they all spend loads of time with their kids and husbands anyway and I know what it’s like with young kids at weekends, I adore mine but it’s not hugely relaxing. Our kids also do activities at the weekends so I know that’s busy but it’s not every hour. I just find it frustrating and it would be nice to have some company sometimes.... A friend and I are trying to organize a monthly hike and loads of interest but then the “weekends are far too tricky “ etc come up and I just think in my head two hours early morning monthly?!
I get on great with all these mums so it’s not the case that they can’t stand me and don’t want to meet. And they all have husbands etc. I just don’t really get it tbh 🤷‍♀️
Just wondered if other people found it similar? ( I do have friends without kids but they don’t live near)

I work part time and I dont see my friends on a weekend unless it's a night out every few months.This is because I prefer to spend time with dh and ds over anyone else genuinely.I keep in touch with my closest friends frequently but just dont physically see them loads but this suits all of us.I know they're there for me emotionally and I am for them.

We have 2 dc and we prefer to spend weekends either just us as a family, or with extended family members. I'm a sahm and DH works full time Mon-Fri, so we prioritise spending our free time together. It makes us sound quite insular but neither of us feels the need to spend much time with other friends (I chat to other mums during activities during the week). I would find it a faff to organise an activity with another family at weekends, esp. organising the logistics of it around nap/meals/bedtimes. We do loads of activities and days out, but it's far easier to just sort it out for ourselves, and we often have to book tickets months in advance, so there's not much flexibility for other plans with short notice.

I just think in my head two hours early morning monthly

Um weekends have early mornings?

After a week of school runs, we all looking to sleep in and do nothing on weekends. Unless it's footy season, we use weekends as our "recharge from the human race" days

Again I also prefer to spend my time with my dcs and my dh more than anyone. Meeting someone for a quick run etc certainly doesn’t negate this and doesn’t remotely disrupt our whole day. Also maybe some people’s dcs sleep in but mine definitely don’t so lie ins sound amazing but just don’t happen. Even if we swap over it’s an early start which is absolutely fine.
I totally hear the different reasons and fair enough. It really is just an hour or so for me and definitely is lovely to be honest, I’ll still be with my family for hours a day today which is also lovely. Each to their own. Have a good one.

My OH works one weekend a month so when he's not working we try to do something with the kids. Also most household stuff has to be done at the weekend as we don't have time to do it all during the week. Along with any shopping that needs doing.

Mine don’t lie in but we enjoy our Saturday mornings not having to rush to get out of the house. We were up at 6.30am as usual but whereas we’d normally all out of the house by now currently all 3DC’s are still in pyjamas (as am I!), 6 year old is colouring, 4 year old is playing Lego, 1 year old is playing on the floor with his toys and DH is cooking bacon sandwiches. Surely most people go at a slightly more relaxed pace at the weekend and don’t necessarily want to be out of the house on a walk at 8am?

You're assuming their DH are like yours and are OK with the idea of actually looking after their own children unsupervised for short periods of time.

Judging by what is posted on here every day, you'd think men were physically incapable of looking after small children by themselves.

I do take time for myself at weekends. Alone! No interest in making small talk. A blissful dog walk on the beach or hike in the hills. Lovely.

If a friend asked if I wanted to do something on a weekend I might do occasionally but mostly no.

Yes my dh does it too but maybe on the other weekend day. It really doesn’t take a big chunk whatsoever 9.30-11.00

I think that's a huge chunk of the 'usable' day with a toddler if they still nap (mine does), especially at this time of year when it's dark so early. I work full-time and find it really hard that all my friends want to meet for brunch at exactly that sort of time of day - I find I've then basically missed all the 'good' toddler day!

I never really thought it might be a dh problem but who knows. Might explain it.
Either way none of my business and again I stress I don’t remotely pester anyone, I’m more than happy to go alone. It’s simply a response to a few plp recently and it got me thinking. Eg. “I can’t make the run this morning (again not arranged by me), can we reschedule “ Me: “sure I’m going for one at weekend if you’re interested” weekend no go
My friend and I planning a hike “ok so let’s meet at 9 in car park and we can do half the hill/mountain “ other person “I’d love that , when you going ? etc “ Again response weekend , crazy idea.
I’m absolutely not going around harassing mothers to join me or talking about what I do loads. I get plp make polite chit chat about their weekends and aren’t really interested but this isn’t what it was. Anyway I’ve been given loads of answers here so thanks.
But answering “I just prioritize my dcs and dh” is really passive aggressive as if somebody taking an hour or two out the odd time doesn’t mean that they don’t, my family are my world. I’m not the type of person to answer an thread or a person in RL with sarcastic/ rude comments so wonder about people’s motives who do. It was just simple curiosity as to why some plp can’t find an hour or so here and there... I get it or in some cases still don’t but that’s fine.
Also I’ve definitely learned from this that it’s probably very much connected to the type of family you are. My dcs are all really high energy, we didn’t make them like this, it’s the natural way. We have tried chilled, quieter , slow mornings but my dcs would be climbing the walls by 10am so we go out and do stuff around then or before anyway. I guess it’s forced us to be a bit more active. My dh and I have a wonderful relationship but have always needed to do our own thing/hobbies occasionally and this hasn’t changed since having our dcs. We obvs have less time and prioritize our dcs above anything.

I live on my own with dc. I would meet friends with dc at weekends.

But I think most people class weekends as family time and choose not to meet their friends unless they have friends with dc visiting from a different area or it is a celebration.

Lisa my toddler still naps, I go home (after run/walk/coffee) and we spend loads of time together.
Eg. I got back for a run last week, dh had them all wrapped up and in the wet gear with full bellys by 10.30, sorting the 3 as a lot of people can relate to takes time. Off we went to the local beach, had a lovely hour or two, back for lunch/ nap (dh often does something during the nap) I clean/play with the older dcs, after nap more playing/cycling etc, dinner, bath and bed. That hour or two in the morning makes absolutely no difference except I’m happier and fitter. Don’t find that it eats loads into my time with him whatsoever.

Most people i know seem to fall into one of two camps. Either they do tons of stuff as a family at the weekend or love the freedom of not having any set commitments and like to take the weekend as it comes.

Well obviously you're just much better than me OP and if I was as excellent as you I'd find it very easy to spend the whole morning out and then also still have a whole morning with DS. Alas, I'm an inferior human being who can't use time twice

Is that what you started the thread to hear?

Again no Lisa, each to their own. You said that 9.00-10.30 eats into a “huge chunk “ of “good toddler” time. I explained I also have a toddler and older dcs and it doesn’t. I don’t think that’s means I am better, it’s just what works for us. I totally get all families have different routines, my question was in relation to plp who seen unhappy with theirs. Anyway got loads of reasons and that’s cool. Whatever works and makes life happy for you and your family.

I do see people at weekends but rarely. My husband more than me. My husband works full time and weekends are family time for us. If we meet up with friends it’s generally us and our children and them and theirs.

I am a SAHM / work from home so very flexible and meet up with my friends during the week.

Are these friends you've made through your children, ie: via school or nursery? If so, maybe they just see you as a weekday friend, someone they associate just with doing things with the kids and that their weekends are reserved for friends they have other stuff besides in common with, like friends from uni or where they grew up.

This is it exactly for me, my friends are very much divided like this. Also the ones we grew up with live further away so we can only meet at weekends and by prior arrangement. Sometimes there is an overlap of weekday friends into the weeks but its usually to do with the kids (eg birthday party, school friends in same football team etc).

As the DCs have got older and can be left on their own it has changed a bit but anything I do with friends locally at the weekend does tend to be spur of the moment so no commitment in advance.

We never get invited out at weekends. Maybe next time you could just ask them what is tricky about weekends?

Everyone is different but I dont get why your friends are being vague. If someone said to me would you like to come for a run on Saturday morning I'd say sorry DH works Friday night so will be sleeping, he could watch the kids Sunday afternoon if that works. The vague reply would imply to me they arent actually interested but are those weird people who appear to be really keen until you try to set a date then nothing ever works out for them. I would just ask them directly if you want to find out

aw OP you sound lovely- I'm not sure why you've got so many hostile responses. You never once suggested you were "better then anyone else" etc

I'd join meetup.com it links you to people with your interests in your specific area. Might be good if you want to expand your social circle and make new friends

We have tried chilled, quieter , slow mornings but my dcs would be climbing the walls by 10am so we go out and do stuff around then or before anyway

Mine are too, they have ballet at 9.30am so we’re out by then anyway. We like to chill before that though.

I agree @beautifulstranger101 OP has had a hard time.

I think some posters are projecting and feeling quite defensive.

It's a lovely morning where I am. Sunny and icy. Both dc are out and DP is working. I'd like to be more active and the more active you are the more you want to be. I'd probably tell the OP that I was jealous as I'd like to go for a run, but my laziness means I'm drinking coffee in bed still whilst MNing and watching the Goldburgs.

I'd probably tell the OP that I was jealous as I'd like to go for a run, but my laziness means I'm drinking coffee in bed

This is me exactly! In my head, i love the idea of a run/ getting out and about in the fresh air but when Sat actually arrives, all I want to do is drink coffee, laze around and watch netflix

Weekends are for my children and DH. We both work around each other and kids needs in the week, so we don't see a lot of the kids for fun things after school, so weekends are precious. We sometimes meet with friends and their kids but we mostly want to be together while they are young

You just enjoy different things to your friends op. Neither of you are wrong though.

You and your family clearly like being busy and active from early in the morning but others don't and that's fine too. You think getting up early at the weekend and going out for a run is enjoyable but that's my idea of hell. Plus, meeting a friend for a couple of hours doesn't mean you are out for a couple of hours (unless they are your neighbour and you meet where you live). By the time you've travelled there and back you're out for longer than 2 hours and possibly your friends have got other things to do? Perhaps they're wanting to relax at the weekend so want to get the shopping and chores done so they can put their feet up?

Most parents here with 2 dc have one parent taking dc1 to their activity while the other takes dc2 etc... add in to that catching up with family - grandparents etc, having some family time, getting housework and homework done when you are busy all week, ferrying to birthday parties, money restrictions means we rarely see any parents at weekends. Most people lead fairly hectic lives