So, if you needed to quickly improvise some nipple tassels....

[TwigTheWonderKid]

...how do you think you would accomplish that?

Thinking more about attachment that the tassels themselves.

Also congealed egg yolk sets like a bastard.

ok this is obviously becoming an emergency. No more mucking about.

Double sided tape - or make it so by doubling regular tape back on itself. Lay it out on some non-stick surface, such as to make a sort of circle shape (with nipple sized hole created in the center = will require patience and lots of swearing) Attach AROUND nipple, so less painful when removed. Stick Tassels to this RING, then off you go. Wiggle and wriggle til your heart's content. Or it is 7.14 a.m. and you have to move on to Task #2 for Wednesday 8th.

Hole reinforcers

A plaster? So the sticky bit doesn't actually touch the nipple? Could then glue tassels to the plasters.

That tape you can buy to stop straps sliding down your shoulders?

I didn't know such tape existed! I'm off to Amazon right now.

What a terribly useful thread. Thanks OP.

In answer to your question OP, I was watching Paddington 2 earlier and he seemed to find marmalade a reliable fix for most things.

Corn plasters?

Though I think that might actually eat your nipples.

Apparently bondage tape (which sticks to itself) is the required substance. Have googled.

Has nobody suggested breastfeeding nipple shields?

But yes, double sided sticky tape, or eyelash glue.

Have you no moustache wax strips knocking about (knockers about). You know, the little ones? Those would work, and upon removal, would take three layers of skin off your nip, win/win.

Womble they would have to be some epic sized corns here.

Nail polish could be sticky enough for a short term hold, just don't swing them too hard.

Obviously the type of wax you use for waxing your legs is the answer. Bonus that you can wax your hairy nipples when you'e taking it off, too

Sticking plasters. Preferably the clear ones.

But mainly

Why 7.10?

I love you, OP.

I have to accomplish this by 7:10

Well that's the last time I'll complain when DC's primary school gives us 24hr notice of 'Dress as a Baked Potato Day'.

Clearly it could be a whole lot worse.

We’ve all done it

I'm crying so much right now.

Plasters with some tassel earring attached?

Why has no one suggested tying cotton round the actual nipples..? Or just me who has permanently erect nipples since bf?!

Whyyyyyyyy?

I would use a compeed plaster, cut a hole before placing it over the nipple and 'anchor' the tassle into the hole. Designed to go on skin... You might have some in the house...

Any luck OP?

i'd cut up some paper and make those drum stick covers they put on turkey legs, a little cello tape double folded and voila or is that volaille?

False eyelash glue would do it.

My eyes are watering.
Don't use clothes pegs either.

This thread just has to go in classics, I haven't laughed so much in ages