Hardly anyone mainly teachers but some friends and family too makes allowances for the difference in emotional age and chronological age in lots of kids with ASD and many other conditions. Therefore their expectations of behaviour are often totally unrealistic and the grow up and act your age comments are totally unfounded.
My dd is mid-twenties now, dxd with ASD and a host of co-morbids bit by bit since age 10 to present. The comments received as an autistic child get older are often along the lines of being mollycoddled, so immature, should be acting their age, need to grow up, need to develop resilience.
Also, in my experience medics can be very intolerant with autistic adults.
In our own GP surgery where DD signed an agreement when she was 16 to say she wanted me to act as her advocate and that info is on the top of all her records on each page on their computer screen. We walked in and sat down, GP who we had not seen before turned to me and said rather aggressively 'Who are you and what are you doing here?'
DD had a suspected broken wrist and the consultant who had been told she has autism was moving, twisting and bending her hand really quickly in all directions asking where it hurt most, here, here, or here, yet not giving her any chance to process his question or formulate any reply apart from generally wincing and crying because he hurt her so much.
Hospital staff saying 'Come this way' and walking so quickly anyone with mobility problems (co-morbid with ASD for some) can't keep up so their anxiety reaches Defcon1 as the person disappears out of sight.
At a hospital appt a nurse was trying to insist DD saw her alone, despite knowing she was autistic and in front of a waiting area full of people I told the nurse as quietly as I could that DD has serious deficits in her ability to communicate. I asked DD what she wanted to do and she said 'Go home' then said she wanted me in there with her.
That should never have happened in a public place.
Hospital consultant when asking about a typical day, I explained DD couldn't answer the phone or the door and the consultant snapped at me 'Don't be ridiculous, of course she can do that' What goes through their minds, why would I lie about something like that, what advantage could I possibly gain by doing so?
Different hospital fuckwit specialist, 'Because you are autistic, the pain you think you feel isn't pain, it's just a different sensation, so you have to tell yourself it isn't pain when you feel it.'
IF we'd asked for a sensory issue to be investigated, I could maybe possibly somehow on an alternate Tuesday when there wasn't a R in the month be very generous and see the "reasoning" for that statement, but the pain DD has, which we'd asked to be investigated is very much different to any sensory pain, but will not be investigated further because that person has decided it's just "a different sensation" because of DD's autism.
It's not all bad, some other health professionals are literally shining stars and go above and beyond to make DD feel comfortable before they carry out any examinations or procedures, but in our experience they are in the minority 