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Original poster

Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
Nextphonewontbesamsung · 02/01/2020 19:18

I've lived in London for 34 years and have never found "Londoners" [whoever that might encapsulate] to be the slightest bit unfriendly.

Only problem is trying to sort out who actually lives here and gets the vibe, and who is a visitor or tourist Grin.

Strongmummy · 02/01/2020 19:19

I have never experienced this reaction in my life when giving away tokens in London.

Hairyhandwaxer · 02/01/2020 19:20

Been a while since we had a London bashing thread

You have no idea where the people were from OP and especially being holidays the chances of them being tourists is high

SillyLittleBiscuit · 02/01/2020 19:24

Well I, for one, am going to take your advice OP. I shall never be afraid of interacting with strangers again. Many thanks.

JassyRadlett · 02/01/2020 19:24

This is my fifteenth year living and working here. I have found the people who l live here (as opposed to random tourists) to be open-hearted, kind and genuine if you approach them in a similar spirit.

Londoners aren’t as showy about being friendly and helpful as you find in some places in the UK and in some other countries. But I’ve never felt alone when I needed help. It is genuine and it runs very very deep.

DorisDaysDadsDogsDead · 02/01/2020 19:26

"Londoners aren’t as showy about being friendly and helpful as you find in some places in the UK and in some other countries. But I’ve never felt alone when I needed help. It is genuine and it runs very very deep."

^^ 100% this!

Original poster
backinthebox · 02/01/2020 19:27

@DreamingofSunshine I did see your post and explanation. I understand that people are wary of others but your story (and a couple of others) on this thread show that it is possible to interact with other people and for it not to be a threat or issue but just a nice way to be around other people. Not everyone is a drug dealer, beggar, mugger or any other dodgy sort of character. In fact, statistically it’s most likely that a family leaving a theme park saying ‘we have some tokens left, would you like them?’ is just a family with some tokens left offering them to you. MN as a places is hugely fond of Occam’s Razor as an explanation for the likelihood of something not being the thing you expect it to be. But, using someone’s exact words on this thread, there seems to be a general opinion that because ‘it’s London, FFS’ there is a reason that it would be different there. Not my thoughts, someone else’s.

It’s a shame that attitudes towards other human beings are such that even a free ride token or a chocolate coin can elicit such feelings of suspicion. Your DH was successful at giving his chocolate coin away, I was not successful at giving away my tokens and it caused me bemusement that an act of generosity by a stranger is assumed to be more likely a scam. If the vocal Londoners slating my opinions on here are so convinced I have Londoners wrong, why would it be assumed that an act of generosity is a scam. Whoever the people I approached were, they were either Londoners who are jaded enough to think everything is a scam, or not-Londoners who have heard enough bad things to suspect a scam, when the likelihood is that it is not a scam.

Either way, I’m baffled. I’ll keep on going into London because a. I work there, b. there’s lots to see and do there and c. because I want to. But I must make sure not to try and make eye contact, speak to anyone who doesn’t want to be spoken to, ask for directions (unlikely to happen) or try and give anything away. And where I get a smile or a conversation with someone it’ll balance out all the negativity, and I’ll enjoy the human contact.

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 02/01/2020 19:29

@backinthebox grow up 🤣🤣.

Goldenbear · 02/01/2020 19:34

Lots of examples of condensation abound from so called 'Londoners' on this thread. It's difficult to work out who is a tourist and who is a Londoner because lots of people who live and work in London are 'not' born and breed Londoners. I'm sure, almost certain that such people do frequent Winter Wonderland!

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2020 19:34

God I'm cringing for you here OP

Just. Stop. Typing. Grin Grin

DorisDaysDadsDogsDead · 02/01/2020 19:40

It's funny how all the Londoners on here who have tried giving things away have had no problems (myself included), but because you have made people feel weird, or something, all Londoners are scared/unfriendly/antisocial/covered in green fur/whatever.

I think the problem here may be staring you in the mirror...

RightEarlobeBreath · 02/01/2020 19:45

I take it you’ve never been approached by the money demanding scammers before? Often women with children in tow.

They offer you something that they just happen to have extra of and as soon as it’s in your hand they are demanding payment. The people you approached probably thought you were doing that. They were expecting you to hand over the tokens and then demand payment for them.

yagayagayo · 02/01/2020 20:04

Hi OP,

Jeez what a test of your resilience! I can't believe how many posters have been so harsh to you! They really don't paint a very good picture of Londoners.

Londoners just because you wouldn't been seen dead at Winter Wonderland doesn't mean you speak on behalf of all Londoners.

I'm a born and bred Londoner and can tell you that in a city of 8 million people there are definitely 'Londoners' who attend Winter Wonderland - several of my extended family and friends with their wee ones would be some of them.

Of course everyone will have their own individual anecdotes about how it wasn't the same for them - in London a cabbie saved my life, bus driver helped me with [insert whatever problem] and therefore you are wrong - good stories happen in other parts of the country too.

There is a spectrum and I think on the whole you are right OP - London and Londoners are at the less open end of the spectrum, to the kind of thing you were doing. And it really is silly that you had to try as hard as you did. I've lived in Scotland, Midlands and North East of England - there is no way it would have taken you as long to pass on those tokens!

Londoners, just chill. It is the capital city - the vibe it has is not the same as the rest of the country (if you have ever left the capital you will know that).

OP you make a good point... Londoners - don't be scared of interacting with people!

JassyRadlett · 02/01/2020 20:08

In fact, statistically it’s most likely that a family leaving a theme park saying ‘we have some tokens left, would you like them?’ is just a family with some tokens left offering them to you.

I’d be really interested to see the stats on this, can you share a link?

DreamingofSunshine · 02/01/2020 20:29

@backinthebox I think you are confusing me with another poster, my DH hasn't offered chocolate coins to anyone Hmm

I agree that the sneering 'Londoners wouldn't be seen dead at WW' is harsh (and untrue) but we aren't all jaded suspicious characters thinking that every person is out to scam us.

saltysally · 02/01/2020 20:56

What a surprise @yagayagayo's first poem on the forum is the only one defending the OP.

Are sock puppets sold at Winter Wonderland?

Original poster
backinthebox · 02/01/2020 20:57

@DreamingofSunshine Grin my apologies. Having a moment there and did get you confused.

@yagayagayo thanks! You get it and explain it much better than me. I'm happy to chat to anyone anywhere and it's a surprise when what I thought of as a friendly gesture was rebuffed not once but 4 times.

OP posts:
Original poster
backinthebox · 02/01/2020 20:59

@saltysally I'm going to make like a Londoner now and tell you to get back to wherever you came from. I've been a regular poster on MN for over a decade and don't need to resort to sock puppetry.

OP posts:
saltysally · 02/01/2020 21:01

Not coping well with being told you are wrong are you?

Thesispieces · 02/01/2020 21:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
backinthebox · 02/01/2020 21:08

Coping very well, thank you. What gives you the impression I'm not?

OP posts:
yagayagayo · 02/01/2020 21:11

saltysally yes I recently joined MN, and what? What an eye opener this thread has been. How silly to try and dwindle an experience and opinion down to 'right' or 'wrong'.

Fraggling · 02/01/2020 21:12

Opinions like this you mean?...

'It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.'

yagayagayo · 02/01/2020 21:14

Yes Fraggling, it's very possible that for a moment in time a place can feel like that.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 02/01/2020 21:15

I am almost impressed that you have spent this long typing stuff today OP. Almost.

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