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Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:15

What on earth are you going on about?

But you know, people get 'stabby' sometimes don't they, who cares if you don't know the victims. As you point out, I don't.

Again where did I say this?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:18

I mean we probably both have better things to do but if you want to keep misinterpreting my posts, I can keep correcting you. Norovirus in our house so I'm pretty much here all night.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 16:20

Your whole point was that people don't care about crime unless it personally affects them

I think Londoners do care about crime, do get upset when kids are murdered.

I think this applies irrespective of who the kids are. Kids in 6th form stabbing each other is always upsetting irrespective of where they live or who they are.

Yes plenty of Londoners are racist selfish but when push comes to shove they get stuck in and help.

And on the whole do care about crime, about young people being murdered or injured.

I know what you believe about me personally, I still take issue with the idea that Londoners on the whole think that way.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:22

It wasn't only me on London bridge the other day, that's not just 'my experiences'.

My posts have discussed experiences with racism & how young black boys are disproportionately affected by knife crime & how some people see a victim on the news & assume they have an affiliation with a gang & "other" them. The London Bridge attack was tragic like all terrorist attacks but I'm not sure what that has to do with any of my posts?

Thunderpunt · 03/01/2020 16:24

@tiredtiredtired23 I completely got all of your points. Watching you trying to explain it to Fraggling is hard work, your patience is phenomenal (but I really don't think they have any intention of trying to understand your points

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:25

I still take issue with the idea that Londoners on the whole think that way.

Please point to where I have ever said all Londoners think this way?

Again Im a londoner as arec my children & friends & the same for DH. If I'm doing what you accuse me off that means I'm accusing myself of that?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:26

Oh thank you @Thunderpunt I really felt like I was going mad. I should have just given up but it made me so angry.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:28

Kids in 6th form stabbing each other is always upsetting irrespective of where they live or who they are.

I know i'm wasting my breath. Again where have I contradicted the above?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 16:29

I'm going to walk away now because it's actually really upsetting & why we have the "othering" in the first place.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 03/01/2020 16:30

I think there are some wilfully stupid people on this thread.

Comgrats to those who have kept their tempers and patience.

RoyalMail · 03/01/2020 17:01

Congratulations, OP. It sounds like you’ve managed to offend lots of people in different parts of the world, both in person and on this thread. Perhaps it’s not the entire population of London who needs to rethink their social skills....

hawaiianturtle · 03/01/2020 17:07

Lol

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 17:24

How is anyone in London not affected by knife crime.

The majority of Londoners aren't affected by knife crime though. If by "affected" you mean been the victim of knife crime or knowing someone who has been etc

MirkwoodMiss · 03/01/2020 18:45

Wow - talk about blow an opening post out of all proportion! Fraggling you seem to have really made something out of nothing. It was explained time and time again- the intention was not how you interpreted and yet you are determined to be offended by it! Sorry to hear you are upset, but no offence was meant, I'm quite sure.

Davros · 03/01/2020 19:04

I'm not aware that "ponce" is homophobic, it means a chancer who wants something for nothing.
Up thread someone asked where we go for a fairground if we don't go to WW - there are lots, e.g. Hampstead Heath (historic), Shepherds Bush Green and many others

RoyalMail · 03/01/2020 19:28

Also as another data point, I’m a Londoner I guess, as I’ve lived in London for the entire 8 yrs I’ve been in the UK. I went to WW exactly once, the first month I lived here, and I found it nothing less than terrifying. Never again.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 19:56

Davros, how old are you? It certainly doesn't mean that. You only have to type it in to Google to get the Collins dictionary definition.

Oh yes, that famous Withnail and I scene where the 'Irishman' calls them both a 'Ponce' because he is implying they are chancers -?? Hmm

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 21:08

Goldenbear, it can use both. My granddad would have thought it was homophobic. I've never heard it used that way, only to mean taking something or chancing it, "he ponced my lighter, fifth time this year"

Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!
Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!
BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 21:10

Didn't mean to put the same thing on twice. But I'm 24 and never heard it used any other way than stealing/chancing

tinytemper66 · 03/01/2020 22:20

I live quite far west in Wales. I love London! I don't care if anyone speaks to me or not. I will be friendly. What I couldn't get over was the number of men begging on tubes. I gave to one who said he had been in the army(our son is in the forces) and to one who was selling the Big Issue but the Big Issue seller was on the same train as us on our return journey, after we bought the copy from him, and was a bit arsey as commuters were not on the train. I have tried to give money to some people I see but can't give to all in need.
I have avoided WW as a tourist but have been to other standard must see sights!

Davros · 03/01/2020 22:20

I'm nearly 60 so maybe that confirms your view? I've lived in London all my life, love it and take special pride in our swearing and slang but I accept I may be out-of-date.

Goldenbear · 04/01/2020 00:07

Actually, I'd like to apologise for being pompous. It clearly does have two meanings. I thought you'd be in your twenties like BlueRussianCat as I'd never heard the other meaning of the word- you learn something new everyday!

Davros · 04/01/2020 00:33

No, I'm an old gimmer Grin
Now, shall we discuss nonce?!

Fraggling · 04/01/2020 00:37

I'd like to apologise as well, I've been having a difficult few weeks and over reacted.

I got set off by a turn of phrase that I think wasn't intended that way.

As for use of words, round here there are words and phrases in use that are as pp say. However, I won't use it again.

Orangepancakes · 04/01/2020 00:50

Have you considered that loads of Londoners and tourists don't speak English? Others are probably worried about scams or don't want a ride. London is ruined a bit by scammers. I wouldn't take it personally. I grew up in London in a lovely, friendly community.

It was far friendlier than the small rural village I live in now, where everyone moans and are so bloody racist.