Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

[backinthebox]

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

They could have been tourists (i.e. not native English speakers...) or maybe they just didn't understand how the tokens worked at that point if they'd just entered/were just outside WW?

And unfortunately lots of distraction muggings and scams DO happen in London and other big cities/busy places so it's not unusual to be apprehensive.

As for those describing me as a tourist - we live a 22 minute train ride from London. It used to take me longer to get into the centre when I actually lived in London - the tube and roads terribly slow. We go into the centre so much more now in spite of living more miles away, because we can get there quicker. What defines a tourist - someone who has to travel a longer distance to something or someone who has to travel a longer time to something? It's interesting here to see the tone (which I may be inferring from reading what has been written, and it may well be that it is not how it would sound if we were speaking face to face) with which the term tourist is written. However it is definitely coming across as though you are talking about outsiders, people not from round here, people who are 'not like us' in a not particularly positive way (this comes across particularly strongly in the statements people are making where they say things like 'Londoners wouldn't be seen dead at WW. It's for tourists.')

A better term for me would be visitor. I do actually work within the M25 so am hardly on holiday every time I venture a few minutes further down the road. I'd argue that the majority of people at WW yesterday, from the conversations I overheard whilst standing in queues for food or rides, were actually Londoners or people who had not travelled a great distance or for a long time to get there. Many of my friends who work in London also go. It does smack a bit of looking down your nose to say 'Londoners wouldn't dream of going.'

I was brought up never to look strangers in the eye.

My friend and I were at the Ideal Home exhibition and had two free tickets spare. We could not give them aware but fair enough they may have thought we were ticket touts!

Londoners are not like this as a whole, they are friendly and helpful usually.

In this topic someone gave Ds a £6 token at winter wonderland

However it is definitely coming across as though you are talking about outsiders, people not from round here

That really does give away a lack of understanding of London. Virtually no one who lives here is from ‘round here’. I have an office of 35 people in C London. 4 of us were born and bred in Londoner. My children are in the tiny minority as British of British parents at their inner London school. Even tinier minority are born in London of parents who were born here. Anyone who lives here who wants to be a Londoner is one.

I would happily tell you to crawl back up your own arsehole if you told me to 'stop being scared of interacting with other people'

Maybe leave it a bit longer before visiting again, a good 90 years should do it.

'However it is definitely coming across as though you are talking about outsiders, people not from round here, people who are 'not like us' in a not particularly positive way'

Oh, you mean like you slagged off a while city of 8 million or so people because they aren't like you?

Also this '. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.' does not sound like a comment from someone who is a regular visitor and used to live in London. Or were you speaking specifically about winter wonderland? In which case, may well be fair, any one of the Londoners on this thread could have warned you

I just all the Londoners don’t go to WW comments. It’d be hard to convince Ds not to and we do live here

But you’re still slagging off Londoners when. A, your experience is based on an interaction with four people in a city of millions and B, even though it been pointed out that they’re really unlikely to have been from London themselves

The defensive tone you’ve received in the posts here is entirely reflected by the attacking tone in your OP

Fraggling we've been to Winter Wonderland 3 times, twice this year, the trick is to go for 10 and go in the Red Gate if you have young DC or anyone with SN, the Purple Gate if you have attraction tickets. It only starts getting packed as we're leaving. We mainly go for DS2 to see Father Christmas, but he changed his mind this year and wrote him a letter instead.

I don't feel in the slightest bit lonely or sad.

Me either.

It's well worth approaching everything with an open mind btw

I'm a born and bred Londoner. What can appear to be a nice gesture can soon turn into intimidation for not 'paying' for the offered freebies. You can't blame people for being cautious. YOU know your intentions, they don't.

Thanks for the tip Philomena but I have zero interest in going! Really not my cup of tea.

I have friends who've been, they found it ok I think.

Maybe your tips will help the op if she ever decides to set foot in the hellhole containing 8 million miserable fucking bastards that is London, ever again.

We're thinking about going to the national portrait gallery tomorrow if anyone has any tips around that?

British museum is our fave, more local for us and less crowded as away from the main famous museums. In summer you can take/ buy a picnic and eat in one of the squares. Just in case this turns into a nice things about London thread! ( Won't if op has anything to do with it :D).

I'd argue that the majority of people at WW yesterday, from the conversations I overheard whilst standing in queues for food or rides, were actually Londoners or people who had not travelled a great distance or for a long time to get there.

Oh come on!

Based on what could seriously only be a few overheard conversations, you'd argue the majority of people there were actually Londoners or people who had not travelled a great distance or for a long time to get there?

Seriously??

It's interesting you pointed out that you're a naice family of four. I wonder if people of colour, Europeans, women wearing hijabs, young people... find London more or less welcome and friendly than the norm.

Personally I've lived out of London by now more than in and I miss it terribly. More polite and friendly places can actually be closed minded and passive aggressive if you don't belong.

Oh come on @WorraLiberty, don’t you ALWAYS only discuss the proximity of your home to the tourist trap you’re in when queuing for food or rides? It’s literally the only thing we do. Either that or we use all the finest Cockney rhyming slang available to alert anyone around us to the fact we are true Londoners.

I went yesterday and would have been delighted to accept some free tickets. I was surprised to find that "tokens" are actually bits of paper with barcodes on them - I wonder whether this put people off a bit as they may have seen you waving a scrumpled bit of paper and wondered what you were talking about.

Separately, I wasn't a big fan of the need for adults to pay to accompany small children on rides designed for small children. This meant that some of them would have cost £9 for a three year old to go on. It seems a bit random whether this required at various other events I have been to.

@PolPotNoodle ‘crawl back up your own arsehole‘ - you win! Insults are for when you’ve gone beyond the ability for rational debate. However it’s going to be rather difficult to crawl up there as I’ve already taken the advice to ‘go back where you came from.’

Have you namechanged? Your post is not highlighted but think you are op.

I love London, wouldn't live anywhere else - but I've had same experience. Quite often have a spare free theatre/cinema ticket and people are so suspicious when I offer them. They often refuse - and okay, maybe they already have tickets, but a smile and thanks for the offer costs nothing - and if they grudgingly accept, you'd think I was trying to plant a bomb on them. Rarely a thank you. Don't always bother offering after so many rebuffs - I far prefer an empty seat next to me!

@deathraystare However, London is awash with free tickets for the Ideal Home exhibition - does anybody actually buy them? - which is why
you'd have trouble giving them away.

ShirleyPhallus I'm normally too busy keeping me dustbin lids out of Barney Rubble

Worra is that before or after you do your daily Lambeth walk

Oh my goodness thank god you live 22 minutes away from the great unwashed masses of ticket refusers. Maybe bring your armed guard next time.