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Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
Keepmewarm · 02/01/2020 21:19

Surely it is people in general rather than Londoners that have upset you?

Fraggling · 02/01/2020 21:20

And so to post about it and broad brush it across a massively diverse city housing millions of people?

Yeah right.

If the op had said I went to WW and felt it was sad and lonely then ok. She didn't though did she.

From Greenwich to Kentish town to Ealing to tooting, we're all miserable, sad and weird

StinkyWizleteets · 02/01/2020 21:21

I was in London for the first time in 10 years having grown up just outside. I couldn’t get over how friendly people were compared to previous visits, especially with a buggy on the tube.

BettysLeftTentacle · 02/01/2020 21:24

No Londoner would have gone to Winter Wonderland OP.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 02/01/2020 21:26

My DC and I are making it a Christmas tradition. We're all Londoners.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 02/01/2020 21:27

Londoners do visit the Tower of London/Science museum/Cutty Sark/London Eye/etc, usually on INSET days, to minimise the crowds. Winter Wonderland is strictly for out of towners though.

puptent · 02/01/2020 21:28

I'm a Londoner. I've been to WW, as have my Londoner kids and friends. Shame we didn't see you. I would have taken your tokens gladly and said thank you very much. Next time, eh?

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2020 21:30

especially with a buggy on the tube.

Anyone who ever wants to know about Londoners should do this. I was amazed carting DD around how many people helped. And it was every conceivable Londoner. Women, men, fancy suits, trousers hanging off, black, white, young, old.

Mind you I know not to block escalators and pavements. Hanging offence in London.

ethelredonagoodday · 02/01/2020 21:31

I'm from the frozen north and also know from a never to be repeated experience, that WW is bloody dire. Wonderful it was not. 🤣

bowtieandheels · 02/01/2020 21:36

Lived in london all my life and have a large group of london dwelling friendly friends and none of us would step foot in WW, can't think of anything worse!

yagayagayo · 02/01/2020 21:37

Fraggling her point is that she went to the WW in London.

If OP had gone to a WW in another part of the country I think it's very unlikely this would have happened.

Sorry to all the Londoners who are feeling defensive about this but the capital is like no other city in the country, or indeed the world. With that means it has some amazing fantastic things about it, but also sometimes there are downsides to that status - sometimes people are more wary/less trusting and less friendly.

I'm a Londoner, and I'm so embarrassed by people's harsh and unthinking responses.

MarshaBradyo · 02/01/2020 21:39

Given only about three Londoners go according to this thread it was likely the reaction was from a tourist anyway

SilverySurfer · 02/01/2020 21:43

backinthebox Thu 02-Jan-20 15:31:55
"I'm guessing those to whom you offered tickets couldn't understand what you were saying." @SilverySurfer is that comment supposed to belittle me, or assuming the ignorance of the other people in Hyde Park yesterday?

Neither, I have zero interest in belittling you I was suggesting that if they were tourists from overseas, they may not speak or understand English well enough to understand what you were offering.

Doryhunky · 02/01/2020 21:46

WW is overpriced hell on Earth. Getting there by tube is horrendous.
Overcrowded, pickpockets etc. People are on that kind of mentality and so not open to
Your kind gesture.

Fraggling · 02/01/2020 21:50

Lol at response.

People can read the op she was very clear and didn't mince her words

I love this city tbh

EmpressLesbianInChair · 02/01/2020 21:52

Anyone who ever wants to know about Londoners should do this. I was amazed carting DD around how many people helped. And it was every conceivable Londoner. Women, men, fancy suits, trousers hanging off, black, white, young, old.

It might have been me Grin. Buggies & also grabbing the handles of big suitcases to help lug them up stairs.

If someone approaches me, though, unless they immediately start asking for directions my immediate response is always “I don’t have any cash, sorry.” Because that, 9 times out of 10, will be what they’re asking.

LemonPrism · 02/01/2020 21:53

I live in London, last time I spoke to a stranger she told me to fuck off and that if I came near her dog again then she'd take me to court and I was a 'stupid bitch' - I only wanted to ask if that was the bus stop for the 87.... we've learnt there's all kinds of crazy in London. You may have given them the tickets and then tried to make them pay you £20, or you might have told staff they stole them from you for kicks

All kinds of really crazy in London my friend.

yagayagayo · 02/01/2020 21:55

People have chosen to be (disproportionately) offended by OP.

daydreambeleiver · 02/01/2020 21:59

Sounds about right. My (adult) dd and I were shushed on the tube earlier this year - we were only chatting. Rude and arrogant sums up Londoners and I am one (originally, I saw the lightGrin)

sandybanana · 02/01/2020 22:07

I can see both sides of the coin.
I totally get your perspective; I think it's a fabulous attitude to be kind etc

Yet I can see why people are cautious of others approaching them, especially in that situation.

London is a big place with a population of over eight million.

To say " friendliest city and Londoners are so great" as some posters are is bullshit in itself.

Purely as it's subjective and who exactly are " Londoners" anyway given its wealth of diversity and culture. It's unique not some homogeneous group of people.

FWIW I am a Londoner, born and bred, with generations of family born in London too.

Left the city 12 years ago. It was no longer my home and I no longer felt safe.

It's dirty, it's dangerous and densely overpopulated. A far cry from how it was when I was a kid.

So had you have approached me Op, sadly I too would have declined your offer of the tickets.

Nothing personal. Just how it is, which is so sad really.

JockTamsonsBairns · 02/01/2020 22:21

I lived in London for 7 years, and I do get what you're saying Op. As a city, it did feel unfriendly to me, but I just put it down to the sheer size and population of it, and that people were generally in a rush all the time. Also, maybe because I moved down from Glasgow, where everyone talks to everyone, whether they want you to or not Grin.
I'd never generalise about a whole city population, and say "Londoners are unfriendly" in the same way that I feel really defensive when people generalise about Glaswegians, saying we're drug taking gangsters or whatever.
FWIW, I'm still in touch with lots of my lovely Londoner friends and all of them go to WW every year. I never went, I knew it would be a rip-off, and I'm far too tight as a Glaswegian Wink

Hellokittymania · 02/01/2020 22:27

I have a disability, so I meet and talk to loads of people every day… I would have gladly taken your tickets, and I nearly thought about going to winter wonderland yesterday, but it was the crowds that made me reconsider. I don’t really like big crowds.

Sizeofalentil · 02/01/2020 22:28

Just for science, shall all us Londoners start a new thread where we, starting from tomorrow, open our hearts and minds and interact with every stranger who approaches us at the big tourist traps, and report our results?

Fraggling · 02/01/2020 22:41

If I smiled and said hello to every one I passed during my average day it would be really quite something.. thousands of people!

We are there when it counts, and that's what matters. IMO.

Psychologika · 02/01/2020 22:51

Nah, we just bloody hate tourists