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Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 03/01/2020 14:00

I also enjoy the casual racism of drawing comparisons between areas where okra is freely available and the potential of being stabbed by a gang

Nice

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:02

OMG can people actually read what I posted? And im not white!

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:03

drawing comparisons between areas where okra is freely available and the potential of being stabbed by a gang

I literally wrote the very opposite of this!

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 14:06

Greenglassteacup, I'm really curious as to how you know the people you encountered out of a population of 9 million people in London, more than the population of Scotland and Wales combined, were 'Londoners'. How do you know they weren't just working in London and commuting to the home counties at the end of the day or commuting back to Glasgow after a 3 day shift as a firefighter in London (I heard of someone doing that) or had only lived in London for 3 years but were actually from Kent?

TSSDNCOP · 03/01/2020 14:07

No tired it’s you that’s whoosh.

Don’t go trying out phrases you’ve never used before until you e thought whether they’re approy

SaskiaRembrandt · 03/01/2020 14:09

That sounds like a city thing rather than a London thing. I live in a northern city renowned for its friendliness, but I wouldn't accept things offered by randoms in the street and I can't imagine any other person who didn't wish to be robbed or scammed doing so either. We might chat at bus stops and in supermarket queues, but we aren't stupid. Sadly, any major city is going to have it's undesirable element, and while it's nice to be nice, it's also nice not to end up as a crime statistic.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:09

You literally used the word stabby in your post and said people in London don't give a fuck until it affects them directly.

That's a bike thing to suggest.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:10

Vile not bike

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:10

Don’t go trying out phrases you’ve never used before until you e thought whether they’re approy

What are you talking about or at least trying to write? You don't give me permission for anything.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:11

I put "stabby" in quote marks because you know it was a quote & I ask again

are we really saying that when a young black boy gets murdered the narrative is not that they are associated with gangs?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:12

No one needs to give you permission to say Londoners don't care about people being stabbed until it affects them.

Other people are allowed to point out this is a grotesque accusation and even worse to trivialise it by using the word 'stabby'.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:13

The narrative is a child has been murdered which is shocking FFS.

Yes there is trouble with gangs in lots of areas but many involved are not black FFS how racist are you.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:14

Instead of completely misreading my posts why don't you search MNs or head over to the property thread & see where certain areas are described as "stabby"

And you didn't answer my question

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:16

Yes I'm obviously racist 🤦🏼‍♀️

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:17

You want me to go and search MN to justify your use of a word that trivialises knife crime?

You said it, you need to own it.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:17

I posted the below

The "Londoners" who get worked up about which attractions are low brow or not are generally the same ones who love diversity when it means buying your okra from the corner shop or having a cheap au pair but less so when gang violence spills over onto their corner & an area becomes "stabby".

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:19

Yes I know what you wrote.

You said Londoners are poncey bastards who don't give a fuck about kids being murdered. And you put it in a really nasty way.

People can read what you wrote.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:19

You said it, you need to own it.

Own what, that I criticised those who use the word "stabby"?

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 14:19

I think tiredtiredtired23 is making a point about Londoners being a vast array of people that are certainly not identifiable from the attractions/galleries/museums etc they visit!

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:20

And then you decided that gang violence in London is all black kids, which is bollocks.

The kids stabbing each other in 6 form round here are white.

Naturally I don't care, as long as it's not my kids.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:21

You said Londoners are poncey bastards who don't give a fuck about kids being murdered. And you put it in a really nasty way.

That isn't what I said

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:23

Well it's what more than 1 person has read.

Maybe you need to rephrase. Give it a go. What did you mean? Because basically you wrote that Londoners don't care about kids being murdered until it affects them.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:23

You said Londoners are poncey bastards who don't give a fuck about kids being murdered. And you put it in a really nasty way.

Again I didn't say this. The only time I ever referred to skin colour is when I said

are we really saying that when a young black boy gets murdered the narrative is not that they are associated with gangs?

So you're saying this narrative doesn't exist? I'm not saying it's my narrative, it's 2 different things.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 14:26

Fraggling, 'Poncey' bit of a homophobic slur isn't it, haven't heard that since watching Withnail and I.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:27

Fucking hell. No I'd say that assumptions about gang involvement is based more on their sex and where they are from.

In our local 6 forms the gangs are white, when there is a stabbing people assume gang involvement yes, shocker, even though they're white.

Whether this is right or wrong is another point,

You seem to be saying Londoners are not only selfish and don't care about kids being stabbed, but also extremely racist.