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Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:48

Why do you keep ignoring my points?

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 14:48

You are 23 and don't find it offensive- and? What about people who are not your age are they supposed to erase that reference from their memory and adopt it's use on your terms. It's hardly Shakespearean, understand history, read a book or something and realise that it is very offensive indeed to some people and it doesn't stop being so because people under 25 have declared its different use!

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:49

I have never heard anyone use the term 'stabby'' about areas until I read what you wrote just now.

To be so casually dismissive of violent crime is grim.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:49

Thank you @BlueRussianCat you understand quotation marks.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:50

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Search on here if you think people don't use it.

Me saying people use it is not the same as agreeing with it.

MarshaBradyo · 03/01/2020 14:50

It probably is a bit shocking if you haven’t seen the term but I have seen others use it on here when describing areas.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:51

To be so casually dismissive of violent crime is grim

I can write in French, will that help?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:52

I'm not ignoring your posts.

I'm reading them and I can't help but be upset and angry about what you are accusing millions of Londoners of. A cavalier and selfish attitude to crime, and racism.

For the millionth time, the gangs around here are white. The connection between knife crime and black people, while obviously established in your mind, is not a fact across the board. The kids round here who stab each other are white and everybody round here is this. Knife crime is not particular to any one group.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:53

Everybody round here knows this, that should say.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:53

Everybody round where?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:54

In this part of London, obviously.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:55

What part is that then?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:56

I am genuinely upset by what you have said.

I don't think you probably care about that though.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:56

Well i'm very angry that you can minimise my experiences of racism & simultaneously accuse me of being a racist.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:57

I don't think you probably care about that though.

Do you?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:57

Fucking hell I'm not going to tell you where I live!

You genuinely have no idea that there is gang violence around London amongst white people? Are you serious.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:59

You genuinely have no idea that there is gang violence around London amongst white people?

Again where did I say that? Of course white kids are caught up on gang violence. I said

young black boys in London are disproportionately affected by gang violence & knife crime

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:04

I'm not going to say they aren't.

That isn't what you said initially though is it.

Are you deliberately trying to upset me. I've told you about me and DH, and about local kids being killed. Your assertion that Londoners don't care is bollocks. Your use of 'stabby'' is minimising. Why are you pressing this point. Is it so hard to say, ok Londoners do care about crime, they don't like it when kids are killed, and knife crime isn't restricted to one group?

I mean sure some people are bastards but to accuse such a vast number of people of being that way is out of line.

Cookie1989 · 03/01/2020 15:05

I’ve been in this situation plenty of times... people are weird 😆

ShirleyPhallus · 03/01/2020 15:05

Omg people if you’re going to quote another poster, PLEASE remove the blank space between the asterisk and the start of the sentence otherwise it doesn’t bold!

sugarisbitter · 03/01/2020 15:06

I had a wonderful time at winter wonderland this year, actually was given some tickets by another mother I got chatting too about co sleep with ds.

I find people all around can be friendly or rude.
Wireless festival = really friendly and everyone had a good time, apologetic if they bumped you
Reading festival = bunch of arseholes.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 15:07

It's a bit disingenuous to say Londoners' are not racist. I think what this thread has proven is that there are certainly 'Londoners' (maybe in the loosest sense of the definition) who are massive snobs.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:08

I'm not going to say they aren't

But that's exactly what you did say

That isn't what you said initially though is it.

But you didn't understand what I said though, a number of posters I quoted the word "stabby". You don't understand quotes.

Are you deliberately trying to upset me

It's not my fault you can't comprehend what i'm saying & again
you have minimised my experiences of racism & simultaneously accuse me of being a racist.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:10

Of course not all Londoners are not racist!

It's not me who started this conversation with a crass post about not caring about knife crime until personally affected and using the word 'stabby' though.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:11

You have minimised my experiences of racism & minimised the effects of knife crime & gang crime on young black men. You have also called me a racist for saying that racists are found in London & surprisingly they don't all live in one area called Racistville. I don't think i'm the racist....