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Original poster

Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:12

You are the first person to use the word stabby on this thread, who exactly are you quoting?

I have never heard that term before you used it earlier. It is vile and very dismissive.

You are quoting people who aren't here, then?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:13

My pointing out that knife crime is not particular to black people makes me racist, does it?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:13

You are the first person to use the word stabby on this thread, who exactly are you quoting?

I have explained it a number of times as have other posters but you don't get it so...

Again search MNs

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:14

My pointing out that knife crime is not particular to black people makes me racist, does it?

Again that's not what you did, you minimised it. But again comprehension...

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:14

You are quoting people who are not here then.

It's a pretty unusual thing to do.

I've never heard the term before it's vile.

You were the one who said Londoners don't care about knife crime as long as it doesn't directly effect them. That's simply not true.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:17

You are quoting people who are not here then.

People on MNs use this term.

You were the one who said Londoners don't care about knife crime as long as it doesn't directly effect them.

No I said some & some don't or assume victims are involved in gangs as opposed to having the wrong postcode. Are you saying this isn't true?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:17

Ok I got you.

I'm racist and selfish and would walk past a person who had been stabbed if I don't know them.

You can't see why that is upsetting? And to apply it so broadly across such a massive number of people.

I already told you where I work where I was the other day , that DH sometimes has to get involved with this type of crime. And still you keep on at me. Calling me racist because round here the gangs are white? That's just a fact. 6th formers stab each other. But you're right I don't care.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:20

And to apply it so broadly across such a massive number of people.

Where did I do this? I never said anything about numbers.

Calling me racist because round here the gangs are white?

No that's what I did.

ReadyPayerTwo · 03/01/2020 15:22

But Winter Wonderland is typically full of non-Londoners though, usually of the attitude that London is a dangerous place full of terrorists and crime etc!

I've had so many meaningful long chats with strangers on public transport etc when I lived in London and also when I now visit. It took me a long time to get used to how closed off people are in comparison in the South East coastal town I now live in.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:23

No that's what I did

Left out the not!

Growingboys · 03/01/2020 15:26

I'm a Londoner and like most of my friends, wouldn't go to Winter Wonderland if you paid me.

The people you approached sound foreign.

You sound awful OP, back to your idyllic Midsummer Murders village with you as soon as possible.

RuffleCrow · 03/01/2020 15:27

I find it's a mix. Friendlier than some places, colder than others. It is unnecessarily stressful though amd does have some odd policies that seem designed to drive people apart:

For example, you can't pay for a child over 11 on a bus (or another adult) if you're also paying for yourself! So unless you have more than one payment card on you, you have the choice of leaving them behind, or all missing the bus in order to traipse around trying to find somewhere that will sell you both a bus pass. Bizarre and really antisocial. Shock

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:28

Ok you are saying that about me though.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 15:29

I just don't think that's true and so so patronising. For a start there are so many people that commute to London to work on a daily basis, I think the OP mentioned that herself are you really saying that they don't understand the realities of the city they work in?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:29

And what have you said about me?

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:31

Particularly when you have based it on things I haven't actually said.

RuffleCrow · 03/01/2020 15:31

*This 'cashless system' also excludes anyone who doesn't have a bank account from using buses - which is a worrying form of social cleansing in itself. Cold.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 15:32

Growingboys, how can what you're saying be true with a population of nearly 9 million. It doesn't add up statistically that 'Londoners' don't frequent the delights of WW!

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 15:32

You used the term stabby and said people in London don't care about knife crime if they are not affected.

How is anyone in London not affected by knife crime.

I get that you believe I'm a racist selfish bastard who doesn't give a fuck though.

The events the other day had no impact on me as, you know, I didn't personally know the people involved. I'll tell DH not to get upset when he has to attend one of these as well, on the basis he doesn't know them.

Well I'm having a cry now I hope that gives you some pleasure.

ForeverAlone1987 · 03/01/2020 15:37

I totally get what you mean. I'm a londoner, and lived there all my life up until two years ago (I'm 33). I now live in north wales, and let me tell you, I see a huge difference in the friendliness. Most people here, pass you by to say hello, even when they dont know you, whereas in london, no one will give you the time of day. Not saying all Londoners are unfriendly, coz that's not the case but I deffo have seen differences.

JassyRadlett · 03/01/2020 15:38

Except that Oyster cards can be obtained for cash and can be used on buses. Though yes it does exclude those who can’t manage the Oyster deposit as well as the fare.

A paper bus pass available from ticket machines is also available to use. Only as a daily (£5) rather than single journey however.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:45

You used the term stabby

How many times I quoted the word "stabby". Do you understand the use of quotes? And you deliberately keep misinterpreting my posts & saying I said things which I didn't.

The events the other day had no impact on me as, you kn, I didn't personally know the people involved. I'll tell DH not to get upset when he has to attend one of these as well, on the basis he doesn't know them.

I'm not sure what this has do this with you not understanding my posts & calling me a racist. Is it top trumps? I have friends in the Met, youth clubs, friends who have personally lost someone or have been affected by knife crime. For some reason only your experiences matter.
I should be much angrier that you have minimised my experiences & called me a racist, Im giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Well I'm having a cry now I hope that gives you some pleasure.

I think you should probably give up on MNs for a bit then or at least work on your comprehension & understanding.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 15:45

Or maybe just don't throw the word racist around.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 16:09

It wasn't only me on London bridge the other day, that's not just 'my experiences'.

But you know, people get 'stabby' sometimes don't they, who cares if you don't know the victims. As you point out, I don't.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 16:13

And DH cares if course he does.

The people you know obviously do as well,

How that ties in with the whole not giving a fuck unless you're personally affected thing I don't know.