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Londoners - don't be so scared of interacting with other people!

330 replies

backinthebox · 02/01/2020 13:35

I had a proper wtf moment yesterday.

We went to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, me, DH and DCs 12 and 9. We do love a good roller coaster. We didn't know which rides we were going to go and and being a bank holiday it was quite busy, so rather than by tokens at each ride we bought a stack of them. We had a great time and when we'd been on everything we wanted to we had 6 tokens (£6 worth) left. We needed to go and get our train so thought we would give them away on our way out. The tokens are valid for all rides, so could have been used on anything from a child's carousel to a roller coaster.

We approached a family who had just arrived and asked them if they had just got here and did they want our unused tokens. The woman just stared at us, shook her head, put her arms around her children and herded them off without a word. Oh, we thought. Weird. So we approached a young couple we had just seen entering WW, and offered the tokens to them. They looked at us and gabbled 'we don't need them' then scuttled away. The kids were bemused by this. Not being deterred, I watched another family with children arriving and took DD to offer the tokens. I assumed a family would not be going to Winter Wonderland with kids for the drinking, so a few ride tokens would be on their list of things to buy. They didn't make eye contact and mumbled 'we'll buy our own.' By this point we definitely needed to be heading off for our train so we set out across Hyde Park. We saw a pair of blokes, one on the phone saying '.... see you inside in a minute...' I asked them if they were going in to Winter Wonderland and they looked at me - one nodded and the other shook his head at the same time. I get it that it was dark, but we were a family of 4 with kids, so hardly axe murderer material!

Eventually we managed to give them to a couple heading that way. The woman said thanks, but held them between forefinger and thumb and passed them instantly to her partner as if they were going to explode.

My DH (who works in London) and my kids (who only go into London for theatre and museum trips) were so amused by our inability to give money away that we decided after the first 3 rebuffs that we would carry on till we managed to give them away. It took 5 goes, and everyone looked at us as though we had 2 heads.

It's no big deal, but this exact attitude was what caused me to move out of London nearly 20 years ago and not look back. I've lived in various northern cities and travel extensively round other major cities around the world with work, and nowhere has the 'we don't talk to strangers' attitude quite like London. It was the busiest and loneliest place I've ever been. It's weird, and a bit sad.

OP posts:
tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:28

Well yes @Goldenbear I was initially trying to point that you can't generalise 8m people.

What I said is that some "Londoners" are very much in a bubble. And I'm sure plenty are sad about knife crime & moped crime but you are being really obtuse if you are saying some people don't assume if black boys are injured or murdered in a knife attack that they don't have a gang affiliation. Plenty of people think crime is something that happens to others & it doesn't affect them.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:29

Ok I take it back.

We're racist selfish bastards who don't care about kids being stabbed and also homophobic.

Ok great.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:31

Crime in London affects everyone. The idea that lots of prior don't care is horrible. The referring to it as 'stabby' is vile.

Kids round here get killed. The gangs are mainly white. I find these accusations gross.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:31

I do think a lot of people including Londoners are racist, is that shocking?
Like I said i'm not white & my parents are immigrants but I guess I have no clue what i'm talking about it.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:32

This 'London bashing' has gone a bit far now.

When shit happens people rush in and help. To say no one cares is bollocks.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:33

I find these accusations gross.

Which ones? Knife crime amongst young black men doesn't cause as much outrage as it should.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:34

To say no one cares is bollocks.

Again where did I say that?

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:34

So your continuing to say that Londoners are selfish racist bastards.

It's you who used the word 'stabby' and were so casually dismissive.

Why you want to paint me in the wrong for saying it's not true that people in London don't care when kids are murdered is anyone's guess. It's a terrible accusation.

Goldenbear · 03/01/2020 14:34

Fraggling who is this 'we' re'? Tiredtiredtired23, stated she was a Londoner, I was born in London and didn't move out until I was 25, you are not really distinct from us? And yes, 'ponce' is considered homophobic.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:36

Knife crime is hardly specific to young black men. Why do you keep saying this? Loads of white gangs about.

You can't extrapolate how you obviously think onto everyone else.

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 14:36

I'm in London and I'd have taken the tokes, smiled, said thanks and have a good night.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:37

Ok this is really upsetting.

DH has to get involved sometimes with the types of crimes. I work next to London bridge and was there the other day when people were murdered.

Who are you to say oh yeah Londoners don't care when things get 'stabby'? Crime in London affects everyone and of course people are not cavalier about kids being murdered.

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 14:39

I'm 23. "ponce" wasn't homophobic when I was at secondary school

INFORMAL•BRITISH
seek to obtain (something) without paying for it or doing anything in return.
"I ponced a ciggie off her"

Everyone used it to mean stealing, or borrowing, asking for something without giving anything in return etc.

Nothing to do with effeminate men or gay men, that usage is quite dated now.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:39

So your continuing to say that Londoners are selfish racist bastards.

Yes some are, are you denying it?

It's you who used the word 'stabby' and were so casually dismissive.

No I've used it exactly as you have in quotation marks. Why don't you understand that I was criticising others for being dismissive?

Ps I still live in London as do all my family.

Are you white & are you simultaneously telling me my experiences are wrong & Im the racist?

Evilmorty · 03/01/2020 14:39

Your first mistake was assuming half the people in winter wonderland were Londoners. I don’t know anyone who goes to that anymore.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:41

Knife crime is hardly specific to young black men.

Really your saying this in regards to London. Well no I can't debate with someone who doesn't understand that.

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:42

It really isn't though.

If you think it is you haven't got your eyes open.

backinthebox · 03/01/2020 14:42

Fraggling in your outrage you are reading lots of things which are not there, and attributing opinions to people when you do not actually know what their opinions are. Don’t be so silly.

OP posts:
Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:44

You really think it's ok to use the term 'stabby' and say that Londoners don't care until it affects them?

Well OP we already know what you think of people who live here, you were very clear in your op. Sad and weird and lonely, wasn't it? So clearly you are going to have no issue with that particular post which supports your views about us.

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:44

You're really saying that young black boys in London aren't disproportionately affecting by gang violence & knife crime?

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 14:45

Tired did use quotation marks around "stabby", meaning she didn't agree with the term but ws referencing what other people say about areas.

MirkwoodMiss · 03/01/2020 14:46

I was born in Yorshire and live there still. My father is Bermondsey boy. We travelled down fairly regularly and now as an adult, I often hop on the train for a wander around. I love it! I think, I'm your case, was more to do with the event- but the people I encounter are generally friendly. Although....I think, thanking a bus driver as you alight, may be a 'northern' thing. I've had some strange looksBlush

Fraggling · 03/01/2020 14:46

Yes I am outraged at that accusation.

Of course people in London care about crime, kids being murdered.

To say otherwise is grotesque.

'Stabby' ffs

tiredtiredtired23 · 03/01/2020 14:47

Again are you saying people don't use the word "stabby" when referring to certain areas?

i was being disparaging of them but I think critical thinking is beyond you.

BlueRussianCat · 03/01/2020 14:47

"There are 1.2 million black people in London, in a bad year 50 of them will kill someone, that’s less than 0.004 per cent of that population." (Akala)