(Not a begging thread) fucking eating or heating

[Stuckandsadintheupsidedown]

Just a rant and certainly not begging. I just can't believe I'm in this position and could use some advice. I haven't name changed.

A while ago I was quite good financially but this year has utterly crippled me. I kicked abusive violent ex partner out in May finally, went to the police etc, it's all going through the cps now and I have lovely emotional support via women's aid. I applied for help from HMRC as I only work part time. I had to cut back on some of my hours as I wasn't safe getting home from work late (he stalked me for 3 months until bail conditions kicked in)
I've been applying for full time since summer but I live in a touristy area and competition is quite fierce.
Childcare is expensive (have 1 primary aged dc) but I'm managing to keep on top of my rent and childcare bills. Checked my account today, to see if my £20 cheque that was a Christmas gift from my uncle has cleared.
£15 of it has been swallowed by Wi-Fi payment that I totally forgot about so not I have £5.83 to last until Friday.
I'm in my emergency credit on the electric meter.
I literally have to choose to not heat my home in order to feed me and dc this week.
We have some gifted Xmas chocolate left, plus eggs and flour and butter so I know we will just about scrape it. But it's so fucking depressing. I'm trying to keep going and be proud I escaped but it feels like punishment some days.
I don't want to borrow money because I can't pay it back without dipping into next month iyswim, I asked the bank for a small overdraft but have been declined.
Just utterly defeated this afternoon.

I know I could ask for food bank referral but the idea of having more social worker involvement just fills me with dread. Dc never saw any violence and they were happy when they visited me but for fucks sake

You will be able to get a referral to the nearest food bank in these circumstances. It's what it's there for.

X posted. Your choice. But if it is genuinely heating or eating, it's worth the annoyance, surely?

No advice at all, but I just wanted to say you sound like an incredibly strong woman and you should be very proud of getting yourself out of an awful situation. Your children will forever thank you for it

I've been using hot water bottles and blankets instead of putting the heating on. Have you got one OP? You and your child can snuggle underneath and watch some films.

Do you have a local trash cafe? It's all fresh food donated from shops that is about to go out of date but if frozen/cooked will last a lot longer.

When I was young my family where we had the issue monthly so know how hard it is.

If it helps you in the mean time you can ring your gas & electric suppliers and they will credit your account and you can pick your repayment. Ie if you need 2 months worth @ £80, you can tell them you can pay it back £5 per top up.

It's not ideal and no different to borrowing but may take the edge off for a couple weeks/months for you?

Have you applied to the right place for benefits (and not HMRC)???

Have you had a letter yet from them?

You need to go to the food bank food is important for the children and you I don't think ss would be overly concerned with you having to go to food bank your children being hungry would be a concern though .

I was in this position a while ago and I phoned my gas & electric supplier, explained my circumstances and they put some extra on for me. I think I paid it back at something like £3 a week when I topped up. May be worth a try

It's pretty warm at the moment for the time of year so for a couple of days you are probably going to be alright with a few extra layers, no one will get hypothermia. Assuming you aren't at work keep occupied out of the house with a long walk, playgrounds etc wrapped up well.

Did you get any other vouchers etc for Christmas you could exchange for cash with someone, or e.g M&S for food.

Also there may be lots of yellow sticker food around tomorrow if shops are shut on New Year's Day.

Some council office hubs have community fridges you can just walk in and help yourself to. Tesco donate a lot of leftover food to church groups who feed families as part of their group activities.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling.

Christians against Poverty will help.
Any local Church will too (just contact the Vicar, Priest, Rabi etc..)
As others have said, call your gas/electricity supplier and ask for help.

Good luck.

Thankyou. It's just the fear in me that social services will look at me and think I'm shit at picking men and shit at feeding my child. I've worked so hard for her not to see any changes or let anything worry her. She thinks that the police has been to the house so often sincr he left because of people littering on our street. Shes only 6.
I'm so grateful to have somewhere to pour all this out. In real life everything must look so together. I don't have anything of value but going to look at home and see if anything might sell on facebook

Do you have any gurudrawa near you? They are open all day and have hot food available. Which part of the country are you at?

I didn't know about the energy suppliers being able to do that thankyou 😊
Sorry not HMRC but the the tax credits people. I use the HMRC website to check payment dates if that makes sense. Shall go yellow sticker hunting about 6, think asda usually reduces around then

I'm sorry you'e in such a shit position.

I don't know what the deal is with SS and food banks, but I'd encourage you to use them, that's what they are there for.

I'm in a seaside town in north west x so many ideas thankyou. Having a good cry in work loos but will pick myself up in a minute

Call the energy companies before you go out, they might shut early

There is no shame in using a food bank in your situation op. You are obviously a very strong and independent person who is doing a good job in difficult circumstances, and foodbanks are just an avenue of support.

Can you ask your work for a small loan even £10 which should cover you with the bare necessities to last the week. I am sure they won’t mind. Don’t feel embarrassed to ask.

I didn't know about the energy suppliers being able to do that thankyou

They do, do that ASAP theyll stick some credit on for you.

Please don't let fear of SS involvement put you off food banks. If food banks referred every parent who asks for help to SS that would be a full time job in itself. I know why you're scared but you don't need to be, honestly.
I don't know who your energy provider is but most big companies have something similar to the below;

www.britishgasenergytrust.org.uk/

You (probably) can't have made a claim for tax credits - do you mean universal credit? If so when did you claim and when is your first payment due?

Food bank

Local church

Family support?

You’re doing a great job and have done so well this far.

Can you sell anything on a local Facebook site. Collection only.