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Original poster

(Not a begging thread) fucking eating or heating

191 replies

Stuckandsadintheupsidedown · 30/12/2019 16:22

Just a rant and certainly not begging. I just can't believe I'm in this position and could use some advice. I haven't name changed.

A while ago I was quite good financially but this year has utterly crippled me. I kicked abusive violent ex partner out in May finally, went to the police etc, it's all going through the cps now and I have lovely emotional support via women's aid. I applied for help from HMRC as I only work part time. I had to cut back on some of my hours as I wasn't safe getting home from work late (he stalked me for 3 months until bail conditions kicked in)
I've been applying for full time since summer but I live in a touristy area and competition is quite fierce.
Childcare is expensive (have 1 primary aged dc) but I'm managing to keep on top of my rent and childcare bills. Checked my account today, to see if my £20 cheque that was a Christmas gift from my uncle has cleared.
£15 of it has been swallowed by Wi-Fi payment that I totally forgot about so not I have £5.83 to last until Friday.
I'm in my emergency credit on the electric meter.
I literally have to choose to not heat my home in order to feed me and dc this week.
We have some gifted Xmas chocolate left, plus eggs and flour and butter so I know we will just about scrape it. But it's so fucking depressing. I'm trying to keep going and be proud I escaped but it feels like punishment some days.
I don't want to borrow money because I can't pay it back without dipping into next month iyswim, I asked the bank for a small overdraft but have been declined.
Just utterly defeated this afternoon.

OP posts:
loutypips · 30/12/2019 17:59

Visit citizens advice. They can help you with the application for UC, they go through everything with you and help you apply for what your entitled to.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/12/2019 18:00

Dd not Dad!

tattychicken · 30/12/2019 18:02

When speaking to EDF say you're asking for temporary extra credit as you have no money or gas/electric, single mum with young child, suffering hardship. Mention you'll be using a food bank. Middle of winter etc.

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Cost of living
glitterytrainers · 30/12/2019 18:05

Sotiredofthislife northwest England or Scotland?

heath48 · 30/12/2019 18:05

Thank you whoever posted about OLIO. I had never heard of it,just joined,I,am always throwing food and clothes out,hope to use the app as much as possible.

Wishing you well OP.

AnneElliott · 30/12/2019 18:05

Sorry you're in such a shitty situation op. Please speak to a friend. I would happily invite any friend and their DC to dinner if they were in your position.

dontyouwishyour · 30/12/2019 18:08

Could some one do a small online supermarket shop for OP as a gift. Unfortunately I'm not able to but maybe she could let hq have her address ... just a thought

PrettyPurpleFeather · 30/12/2019 18:08

Try Olio and Fayre share for surplus food supplies. olioex.com/

Your GP, health visitor can refer you to food bank.

RoomR0613 · 30/12/2019 18:09

please don’t assume it will negatively impact her. Her current peers don’t have to know about it.

In a coastal seaside town in the north west there's every chance the families of many of her peers have also had to access the food bank from time to time. Shit happens to everyone, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Citizens Advice can give you a food bank voucher, it doesn't need to be social services.

kateandme · 30/12/2019 18:10

op does your daughtr have school meals.try and gently encrouage her to have good portions and pudding and hot if you can?

glitterytrainers · 30/12/2019 18:11

Could you spend your £5 in Farmfoods? You will get a lot for your money - frozen mince and pasta would do a couple of days.

eatyourcake · 30/12/2019 18:12

OLIO app - free food sharing, please check it out Flowers

Original poster
Stuckandsadintheupsidedown · 30/12/2019 18:12

Will be a bit easier when she has her meals back at school yes.
I think the problem as been with my wages fluctuating (work in hospitality) so my claim seems to vary every month. I can't wait to work full time again and not have this problem.
Yellow sticker shopping was quite good. Have some bargain sausages and fruit so will make toad in the hole and jelly and fruit for pudding tomorrow :)

OP posts:
RoomR0613 · 30/12/2019 18:13

dontyouwishyour I know you mean well but I don't think the OP wants that and it sets a precedent that is hugely open to abuse by others.

tattychicken · 30/12/2019 18:13

www.gov.uk/the-warm-home-discount-scheme

Kittykat93 · 30/12/2019 18:14

Please take your daughter to the food bank if you need to, she's six she doesn't have to know details and it's not like they are horrible places anyway! They exist for exact situations like yours. When you're back on your feet you can make a donation back :)

You sound very strong to have come this far. But don't go without food or heating op, swallow your pride for the sake of your daughter. Best of luck to you

MrsMoastyToasty · 30/12/2019 18:14

If you collect Tesco clubcard points you can apply for the ones that are due to be issued in February . They take about 24 hours to come through.

APatchyTomCat · 30/12/2019 18:16

Could some one do a small online supermarket shop for OP as a gift. Unfortunately I'm not able to but maybe she could let hq have her address ... just a thought

Bloody hell, it’s bad enough (for the site) when people offer to send money themselves, but to ask other people to do it is something else

Original poster
Stuckandsadintheupsidedown · 30/12/2019 18:17

I've found a Catholic church fb near by that is self referral for first visit, will check opening time etc. Might see about going on my lunch break tomorrow when dd will be at childminder anyway x

OP posts:
Whiskerychinsrock · 30/12/2019 18:17

You can phone the school nurses for a food bank voucher. SS wouldn't be involved at all.

Original poster
Stuckandsadintheupsidedown · 30/12/2019 18:19

Thankyou for offering people but really I just needed a rant and advice. I don't want to take anything from anyone. It's very kind but honestly, the energy advice and yellow sticker hunting is going to get me to Friday I promise. Flowers

OP posts:
Rashboy · 30/12/2019 18:22

It was said by a pp but spend the day at your local library for the free heating and WiFi. Lots of people stay there for the day so you won’t stand out and it will save you in heating. Plus they do often have children’s events in the school holidays.

RandomMess · 30/12/2019 18:31

I live in a seaside town in the NW the usage of food banks has exploded, you would be one of many sadly.

I am so proud that you kicked out your ex, so very difficult and how awful to have been stalked by him Angry

Glad you got some food bargains today Thanks

lilmishap · 30/12/2019 18:48

Don't you get child benefit?

Trees2905 · 30/12/2019 18:50

I work for an energy supplier - contact them and tell them your situation and they should help.