(Not a begging thread) fucking eating or heating

[Stuckandsadintheupsidedown]

Just a rant and certainly not begging. I just can't believe I'm in this position and could use some advice. I haven't name changed.

A while ago I was quite good financially but this year has utterly crippled me. I kicked abusive violent ex partner out in May finally, went to the police etc, it's all going through the cps now and I have lovely emotional support via women's aid. I applied for help from HMRC as I only work part time. I had to cut back on some of my hours as I wasn't safe getting home from work late (he stalked me for 3 months until bail conditions kicked in)
I've been applying for full time since summer but I live in a touristy area and competition is quite fierce.
Childcare is expensive (have 1 primary aged dc) but I'm managing to keep on top of my rent and childcare bills. Checked my account today, to see if my £20 cheque that was a Christmas gift from my uncle has cleared.
£15 of it has been swallowed by Wi-Fi payment that I totally forgot about so not I have £5.83 to last until Friday.
I'm in my emergency credit on the electric meter.
I literally have to choose to not heat my home in order to feed me and dc this week.
We have some gifted Xmas chocolate left, plus eggs and flour and butter so I know we will just about scrape it. But it's so fucking depressing. I'm trying to keep going and be proud I escaped but it feels like punishment some days.
I don't want to borrow money because I can't pay it back without dipping into next month iyswim, I asked the bank for a small overdraft but have been declined.
Just utterly defeated this afternoon.

OP - if you are local to me I will happily drop you a bag of basics tomorrow. I am in a seaside town in North West also - we may be neighbours, or we may be miles a part but message me and if you are near, happy to help .m

When I did the Trussell Trust foodbank training, we were told that we could accept self-referral, so you may not have to see a social worker or HV to get a voucher. Some schools, housing associations and (in my area at least) churches have vouchers, and the food bank isn't the slightest bit interested in reporting you for having no money- that simply isn't what they do. Do Women's Aid give out vouchers? I don't know if they do, but it might be worth asking.

I know our priest often helps people out with referrals to places like the St Vincent De Paul society, or gives out food parcels. You don't have to be a Christian and clergy people are often great sources of information as well as confidential help.

Have you applied for the Warm Home Discount for your electricity?

Good luck! 5£ worth of chickpeas and chickpeas pancakes for all! Extra clothes layers. Good luck again

Any decent neighbours? I’d happily give my neighbours some essentials to keep them going- in fact I’d be horrified if they were struggling that much and I could have helped.

OP, also try the app "Olio". It's a good sharing app. People list the food they have that's going out of date and would get wasted. When I was in your situation, I managed to feed me & three kids for almost 3 days on the things people were offering, then I got paid and all was good again.

^^

*FOOD sharing app. Sorry!

I'd you are in this financial situation and renting you will definitely be eligible for the housing element of UC. I know it won't help this instance but on low income and DC you should get the old child tax element, housing benefit, reduction on council tax at the least.

Shirt term can you sell any clothes on Facebook sites? That means cash in your PayPal straight away that you can instantly transfer to your bank. My DD wears mainly second hand stuff, doesn't care and nice stuff gets sold

In my area, you can get a foodbank referral from the local clergy - no SS involvement needed. Also, our foodbank never refuses anyone, even if they don't have a referral.

Good Luck!

Sorry you are in such a shitty situation op.

I would suggest calling the utility providers to explain also, calling Tax credits every day to chase and explain situation, and asking on local FB groups for food banks/groups that offer support.

I know you said not a begging thread but if you are in town beginning with B then please PM me and I will drop you some bits off from the cupboard

It sounds like you have done an amazing thing for your DD, and it's evident that you want to do the best for her. Please dont be worried about getting a referral for the food bank, it's crap that anyone has to rely on them, but if it means a warm home and food in your cupboards then please do. They won't think badly of you, especially in the circumstances. You deserve to be able to eat

Check on the entitled to website to identify what you should be getting in terms of benefits. As others have mentioned, food banks don't need a social worker to refer, and other agencies can also do this. Worth finding out what you can get locally. As for the heating, you should contact your energy supplier as others have mentioned. You could go to the local library all day for free heating and wifi. Local libraries run lots of events for children over the holiday period. Church and other charities offer food drop in events when you can turn up for dinner or a food parcel. If you are lost, go to the Citizens advice bureau as they should have a list of local emergency agencies for families in crisis. Good luck!

I’ve been in a similar situation and I know it sucks. Have a look at Money Saving Expert dot com, on the Old Style Money Savings board. There’s a huge wealth of info on keeping warm cheaply (flower pots and tea lights to heat a room for example) and how to stretch food out.
When you’re over this horrible bit, have a look at the Warm Home Discount whereby some of the energy companies give you £140 credit if you’re in receipt of certain benefits. It’s worth a shot.

Would any of your friends be likely to have a portable radiator you could borrow for a few weeks?

Would your family be willing to get a food shop sent to you?

In some districts there is a grant for energy costs to those in need. It is only available to people who already have a referral to a food bank. Called "npower Fuel Bank" link

I have seen rumours of free money available for the asking, but the people spreading them have no link to the source, and I have been unable to find any information. So IMO they are not true.

Well done getting out of the abusive relationship.

Get whatever help you need now for you & your child. When you are in a better position later, you can help someone else.

OP I hope you get sorted but I really really don't think people should be offering money or food (three offers in the last hour!) as it just encourages other none genuine people to troll MN with similar threads if they see offers like this.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles yep. The OP probably has more offers of money in her inbox than a bloody crowd funder.

But at least some people are capable of giving things without announcing it on the thread.

You have my admiration for ending that bad relationship and trying to hold it together for your child. You will come through this. And your daughter will be so proud of you in the future. Do as others suggest. We are all here giving you a hand hold.

Use a food bank without shame. It's unfortunately so common and I doubt children's services would judge. I work for MH services and we can give out vouchers. Unfortunately it's really common and it wouldn't occur to me to think negatively of any parents in need, it just makes me really sad.

I really think PMs should be disabled for these types of threads. I'm not saying for one minute that OP isn't genuine, they have at least two months of posting under this name but people offering money so readily really just encourages others to put up none genuine similar threads.

Exactly and two months of posting doesn't mean a thing anyway if the OP was the sort of person to scam people. They'd have planned that in advance.

I'm not saying they are, but like you I'm saying no-one knows because this is the internet and they are anonymous.

Sorry for the delay, just finished work and have found I have enough boots points for orange juice and 2 pints milk so that's a nice little boost.
I'm trying not to cry again at all your kind posts. You are all mumsnet at it's finest. I wouldn't have had the knowledge or strength to report etc if it hadn't been for the posters here
I'm on a live chat with an EDF lady but I'm not sure she is understanding me so will try to call instead I think. Asda is my next stop before childminder so will see how yellow stickers gets on.
I'm not trying to be awkward or daft with food banks etc. I will check referral system tonight for my area. I just don't want to take dd there with it being the holidays :( I don't want her to feel different. I have the right ingredients for pancakes and orange juice for breakfast tomorrow so that's something to look forward to.

I was stuckandsad previously if anyone wants to advance search my name xx I changed it in October for the Halloween contest.

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon. In the meantime, you might find some useful information on our guide for dealing with financial difficulty