Most boring family Christmas conversation competition

[GinNsnowmen]

So far this Christmas break we have had how the woman across the road keeps her bins to the SIDE of her path at the driveway and a long extended discussion about the pros and cons of bin positioning. Apparently "we just don't know what she gets up to" is a comment that was appropriate in that conversation. I'm not sure what my neighbours think about my bin position?!!

High drama of the day has been when an unknown car parked perfectly legally near the house. This prompted lots of walking back and forwards at windows and some fake retrieval of stuff from our cars to nosey. Can anyone compete with that level of drama? A friend suggested we log it with 101.

(And as it seems necessary to say this these days this is lighthearted. I love my family but in large doses they are exhausting and this is just some light relief to keep me smiling politely.)

Oh I plan to be the inappropriate elderly relative when I'm in my dotage. I'll randomly and loudly regale the entire dinner table/sitting room with stories about my younger days in the 90s/00s while my family sit there, absolutely mortified, chuckling through gritted teeth and saying "now now, Nan... no one needs to know how many E's you dropped at Glasto, do they?"

MIL's boiler.
MIL's neighbours.
MIL's house.
MIL's health.

Guess who we've had to stay with us.

The bloody extension- still. It was finished nearly a year ago but it's all they bloody talk about. So many decisions to make you see...

Plus my DPs and BIL (DH's brother) moaning and taking the piss about anything to do with the Labour Party, the EU or anything slightly left wing.

Oh I have missed this all this year by not visiting my Dads. Must go next year.

My Mum tries to hard to have interesting conversations, that's the problem. At one point she wanted to read me a short story. I mean it would be nice tucked up in bed but otherwise I don't think I could concentrate long enough

Instead, she told me the whole plot of Keeper of Lost Things which she read for Book Club. No need for me to read it ever

Does anyone get completely contrasting conversations in different houses? We went from Strictly come dancing at Christmas commentary in one home to an erudite critique of the magic flute in another.

(Conversation starter by me) How Coronation St and Emmerdale are such rough and dangerous places to live as there are always murders,wife beaters,personal accidents and air plane crashes especially at Christmas.

My PIL told me their neighbour washes their turkey. Then my parents joined in with their thoughts. I was quite unwell and just kept drinking and playing with my DS in the hope they would stop talking...

We got the usual verbal rendition of an obscure family tree removed from us by over hundred years and 3 or 4 second sets of second cousins. She can see it all in her head but to everyone else it’s just a list of random Germanic names, locations and dates, it really does make you want to eat your own eyeballs.

Mind you she did join in with the darts even though she is 85 and threw those darts with the ferocity of an Amazon. Most entertaining, so she is forgiven.

This thread is why I never picked up the Polish language of my late DF's side of the family. It was a whole lot of elderly folk talking about their health, the rent they were charging their lodgers/tenants, how much the 'insert famous artist's name' in the sitting room was worth (it wasn't a 'Famous Artist' but might have been a 'school of Famous Artist'; note 'might'. On another note, am I allowed to call him Fartist?) All utterly thrilling to the 7 year old me.

The most baffling conversation I ever encountered, however, was with the English husband of a distant Polish cousin of my parents' generation. He confided in me that he had a funny story to tell me about someone, then went on a long, banal ramble about a long, banal conversation, culminating in the punchline 'Then he gave me the umbrella.' He turned to me and said 'Isn't that a funny story?'

Er, no, I don't get it either.

At first glance, I thought @SheepSocks post at 17.52 was a reply to @Ikeameatballs. Much bafflement ensued.

Not boring, but VERY repetitive and thus annoying. DH and I have been together 25 years. This conversation has happened for the last 20.

MIL: Tell Louise about how you met.
Me: Um, well, I was 19 and about to go to university...
MIL: Weren’t you still at school, Hello?
Me: No, I was 19, I’d left school a year and a bit before that.
MIL: Are you sure? I think you were still at school.
Me, through gritted teeth: No, it was over a year after I finished my A-levels, I’d lived in Spain for 10 months, then came back to start my course and we met in a bar in Chiswick.
MIL: I’m sure you were still at school.

AND ON AND ON AND ON.

DH is 8 years older than me, if I had been at school when we got together it would have been a bit dodgy, even then, I’ve no idea why she’s so keen on that story to be true.

I had the merits or otherwise of home education. Why my cousin should get a part time job now he's a teenager. Why my cousin should be at college or in an apprenticeship. Why my medication is dangerous. How naughty a diffident cousin is (multiple times, from different relatives, several times just from my mum 🙄) That was all from my family on Christmas Eve.

Then today we were with dh's family. So I had constant talk about how nephew is a naughty boy (he's not naughty, he has additional needs and gets overwhelmed and finds it very difficult to sit still and listen to boring adult conversation!). How other nephew is brilliant at school, and football, and video games. How dd is too quiet (no shit, she's got selective mutism!!). How sil is getting on with her job search. How dd is a very lucky girl with everything she got for Christmas and the nephews wish they got what she did (despite the fact that they got much bigger things than she did!). How we should move to their town and teach at nephew's school because it's so nice and then we could see mil and nephews all the time (never in a million years! No way I could cope with that!)

I'm glad we only have to see each set of family for an afternoon. I couldn't cope with staying for a whole week. The truck is to live about an hour away from each set of parents, so you're close enough to visit for just a few hours, but far enough away that they don't expect you to be there every week, lol.

MILs neighbours sons bedding at university. Literally his bed size (single), sheet (fitted for info) and duvet size and tog. I’ve never met him and if I had why would I want to know this?

IDoAllMyOwnStunts What tog? I won’t sleep unless I know.

DF: "Do you remember so and so?'
Me: 'No'
DF: 'yes you do'

On repeat since breakfast, sometimes I get extra information like 'he had a red car in the 60s' i wasnt born until the 80s so this really didnt help me remember him!

10, 13.5 was too hot,,,,this led to further debates about everyone’s duvet tog/bedroom temps for an optimum nights sleep 😴

Chortling at this thread. Must admit I'm so knackered I haven't got much chat left either

The classic convo on how chocolate boxes are getting smaller.

Everything is nice and lovely nice and lovely isn’t it funny nice and lovely shoot me and put me out of this 2 day misery....

There was a 5 minute convo at Xmas dinner yesterday about the price of butter and MIL listed out the prices of each individual shop. Conversation changed then to what was everyone's favorite spud. DH family are 😬

@Squirrel26

You win

Not a conversation but we were subjected to a good hour of two nephews and a niece 'performing' shotgun by George Ezra and two songs from The Greatest Showman. It was cute the first time but went on far too long and SIL got pissy with anyone who suggested otherwise. Thank god for DH's Nan loudly announcing it was time for her to go home or we'd still be there nodding and clapping.

DF: "Do you remember so and so?'
Me: 'No'
DF: 'yes you do'

^

This is every conversation at my parents house!

I didn't think other families did the same!

I can't concentrate on rating this thread. I'm still too busy laughing at the original post.

Reading, I meant reading not rating